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Re: EDIT IR OR Graphic Dry Sack--Poindexter

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  • Stick
    Michael, Thanks for the edits. The suggested changes have been made and the new report uploaded in the proper place. Of course the old report has been deleted
    Message 1 of 2 , Aug 2 12:28 PM
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      Michael,
      Thanks for the edits. The suggested changes have been made and the new report uploaded in the proper place. Of course the old report has been deleted form the test folder as well. See you in a fdw...
      Chad

      --- In backpackgeartesters@yahoogroups.com, "Michael Wheiler" <jmwlaw@...> wrote:
      >
      > Chad:
      >
      > I'm not sure if I am really the test monitor for this series but Richard Lyon sent me an email message suggesting that I was (even though I have not received any word from BridGeT and the Admin pages don't list me as monitor). So, if you get or have gotten another edit, disregard these!
      >
      > Very nice detailed report. Lots of information. I liked the photographs. My edits follow:
      >
      > Comment: "...which enables the user to organize and find gear easily." We need to watch out for statements which amount to projecting what other users may or may not be able to do with the product. This one seems to be projecting. Consider changing to something like "which is supposed to enable the user to...."
      >
      > EDIT: "made out of Outdoor Researches non-breathable..." Should be "Research's"
      >
      > EDIT: "I have been anticipating the dry sacks...." Should be "sack's"
      >
      > Comment: "These buckles will connect into each other...." Again this may be projecting. Try "The buckles connected inot each other...."
      >
      > Comment: "...top closed, however, I quickly..." Consider making two sentences (...top closed. However, I quickly..." It is just a little easier to read.
      >
      > Comment: "...over the next few months (and hopefully longer) and the stuff sack that came...." Again, consider making two sentences here ("...longer). The stuff sack that came..."
      >
      > EDIT: "(especially as compared to the sleeping bags original stuff sack)." Should be "bag's"
      >
      > EDIT: "What I found is that the dry sacks material..." Should be "sack's"
      >
      > EDIT: "The dry sacks texture is similar to..." Should be "sack's"
      >
      > Comment: "...hung from the handle if needed, however, there is also a D-ring...." Consider making two sentences (...hung from the handle if needed. However, there is a D-ring....)
      >
      > EDIT: "(I will be sure to report on this in my field....I am interested in the statement found on the side of the box.) I'm not sure how these two sentences go together or why they are prenthetically enclosed.
      >
      > Once you have made the necessary changes, please delete your report from the test folder and upload the revised report to the appropriate folder.
      >
      > Thank you for your hard work on this report. See you in a couple of months (assuming that I am the real monitor).
      >
      > Mike Wheiler
      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      >
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