EDIT: FR - Osprey Atmos 35 - AB
- Hi AB-
Here are your edits for the Osprey Atmos, using standard conventions. A few small EDITS, and a couple of other wording suggestions for your consideration.
Have fun with the pack on the trail...see you in 2 months.
Comment: Could you make the Field Report + date in bold font, so it at least equal to the other headers?
Edit: Temperature ranges during the outing ranged from 70's (21 C) during the day to below freezing (-0 C) during the night and an elevation around 9000 - 10,000 ft (2750 - 3050 m) throughout the trip.
>>>I would suggest changing "Temperature ranges " to "Temperatures " at the beginning of the sentence. Also, you could remove the negative sign before the 0 C and maybe change the wording to say " *at* an elevation around 9000 ft ". Or not.Edit: little change in terrain as opposed to Rocky.
>>>Consider expanding "Rocky" to "Rocky Mountain State Park"EDIT: I was able to get a better feel fro the range of use
>>>*for*Edit: vast weather changes I was to expect at various altitudes,
>>> changes I was expecting atEdit: However, I found this to be completely against what I thought.
>>>This reads funny to me. How about "However, I found the opposite to be true." Or something like that.Edit: So many times I lost almost the entire pack contents on the ground due to trying to find something near the bottom.
>>>This also reads a little strange. How about using "dumped" or "emptied" instead of "lost"?EDIT: I did feel a bit cooler as the colder waster
>>>waterEDIT: it was more of a mindset since
>>>Please capitalize "it" at the beginning of the sentence.