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FR - Clif Bar Blueberry Crisp - R Lyon

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  • richardglyon
    For your editing pleasure. HTML for full report in Tests folder at http://tinyurl.com/2aou53. Richard FIELD REPORT July 2, 2007 It s been a pleasure working
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 2 2:04 PM
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      For your editing pleasure. HTML for full report in Tests folder at
      http://tinyurl.com/2aou53. Richard

      FIELD REPORT
      July 2, 2007
      It's been a pleasure working my way through my box of Clif Bars.
      FIELD CONDITIONS. Most of my testing has been on day hikes, in
      Dallas and the Hill Country, Texas in May and Big Timber, Montana in
      June. Despite a near-record rainfall here in Texas all my hikes
      have been on sunny days, with no precipitation, at temperatures
      between 75 and 95 F (24-35 C). On these hikes I carried one or two
      Bars in the top pocket of my Mystery Ranch Mountain Monkey day pack
      or in a front pocket of my shorts. Temperatures and conditions were
      similar in Montana, but there I carried a backpack that I am
      breaking in. On one hike I placed a single Bar in a zippered hip
      belt pocket, along with a Zip-Lock bag containing bug dope and
      sunscreen; on the other it was stuffed inside the main pack
      compartment with my own gear and that of two children accompanying
      me on the hike.
      Another test Bar was stored in my day pack on a car camping
      overnight in Broken Bow, Oklahoma, in early June. Daytime
      temperatures were similar to Texas, and the overnight low was about
      60 F (16 C).
      As I had no opportunity to subject a Bar to freezing temperatures in
      the field, I placed one in the freezer compartment of my
      refrigerator for a week, and ate it at home as part of two
      breakfasts.
      PERFORMANCE. The Blueberry Crisp Clif Bars sustained the high
      opinion I hold of all Clif products I have eaten or drunk, including
      many other flavors of Clif Bars.
      First and foremost, the Blueberry Crisps taste great. As noted in
      my Initial Report, it's like a bar made of blueberry granola –
      pronounced flavors of blueberry, oats, and sugar, with a hint of
      apple. Thanks to their airtight packaging Clif Bars don't dry out;
      they retain their chewy texture and their entire flavor. Once I ate
      half a Bar at lunch and returned the uneaten portion to the opened
      wrapper, rolled up the wrapper, and returned it to my pack. When I
      ate the remainder at the end of the day it was as tasty and chewy as
      ever. I ate half the frozen Bar for breakfast on a Monday and
      stored the other half in the refrigerator, without packaging, until
      Friday morning. Again the taste and texture remained the same. I
      waited about twenty minutes for the frozen bar to thaw, and when I
      ate half of it I detected no loss of flavor from a week's freezing.
      The packaging serves another purpose, serving as a napkin to keep me
      from getting sticky fingers when eating a Bar. The oiliness that
      makes these chewy can leave a residue on my fingers that in the
      field will attract insects and dirt, and an unwrapped Bar will stick
      to a Zip-Lock bag in warmer weather.
      As a matter of taste I'd prefer a bit less sugar, but the sugar
      contributes to the energy boost that is the Bars' principal
      purpose. Clif Bars do give a kick to my energy level, actual or
      perceived, and that's one reason I eat them. For flavors whose
      taste I like, however – and Blueberry Crisp is now high on that
      list – they are tasty enough to serve as all or most of a meal.
      Even when hiking I usually eat only two full meals a day, plus
      snacks. One Bar is often my lunch, and one of the Blueberry Crisps
      was my breakfast on the Oklahoma overnight. Tasty, filling, and a
      welcome energy jolt each time. Every one of my alternative
      products, for energy on the trail or a quick one-item meal, has an
      artificial element to it. Not always bad taste, but still something
      eaten more for the calories and protein than for the flavor. The
      Blueberry Crip Clif Bar tastes more like something prepared in a
      bakery than any other pre-packaged energy product I've eaten. With
      the Blueberry Crisp Clif has added another luscious flavor to its
      year-round roster.
      There's little I'd change in a Clif Bar. I've mentioned above the
      only shortcoming I've encountered – they can be sticky, and if not
      packaged they can stick to whatever is next to them in my pocket or
      pack. That's very easy to manage. For snacks I'd like the choice
      of a smaller size, similar to those I've received as promotional
      items from time to time but not listed on Clif's website as
      available at retail, as a full Bar can be a bit too filling when I
      have serious hiking or other hard work immediately after eating.
      This concludes my Test Report for the new flavor Clif Bar for 2007.
      Thanks to Clif and BackpackGearTest.org for the testing opportunity.
    • rami
      ... [[R:]] Hi Richard, Your edits follow, then please upload at will. Thanks, -r ... [[R:]] This is pretty confusing Richard, I m not sure how you want this to
      Message 2 of 3 , Jul 7 7:08 AM
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        richardglyon wrote:
        > For your editing pleasure. HTML for full report in Tests folder at
        > http://tinyurl.com/2aou53. Richard
        >

        [[R:]]
        Hi Richard,
        Your edits follow, then please upload at will.

        Thanks,

        -r

        >
        > FIELD CONDITIONS. Most of my testing has been on day hikes, in
        > Dallas and the Hill Country, Texas in May and Big Timber, Montana in
        > June.
        [[R:]]
        This is pretty confusing Richard, I'm not sure how you want this to come
        across. Read it this way and see if it makes sense to you;

        Most of my testing has been on day hikes
        in Dallas and the Hill Country
        Texas in May and Big Timber
        Montana in June
        Perhaps something like this would be more coherent;
        Most of my testing has been on day hikes in Dallas and the Hill country
        of Texas in May, and in Big Timber Montana in June.
        > Despite a near-record rainfall here in Texas all my hikes
        > have been on sunny days, with no precipitation, at temperatures
        > between 75 and 95 F (24-35 C). On these hikes I carried one or two
        > Bars in the top pocket of my Mystery Ranch Mountain Monkey day pack
        > or in a front pocket of my shorts. Temperatures and conditions were
        > similar in Montana, but there I carried a backpack that I am
        > breaking in. On one hike I placed a single Bar in a zippered hip
        > belt pocket, along with a Zip-Lock bag containing bug dope and
        > sunscreen; on the other it was stuffed inside the main pack
        > compartment with my own gear and that of two children accompanying
        > me on the hike.
        > Another test Bar was stored in my day pack on a car camping
        > overnight in Broken Bow, Oklahoma, in early June. Daytime
        > temperatures were similar to Texas, and the overnight low was about
        > 60 F (16 C).
        >
        [[R:]]
        The details about temperature and location are good. I'm not sure how
        helpful it is to know _where_ you stored the bars on each hike.
        Are you trying to tell the reader about the durability of the bars? If
        so, perhaps language about the survival of bars in each location would
        be more effective?


        > PERFORMANCE. The Blueberry Crisp Clif Bars sustained the high
        > opinion I hold of all Clif products I have eaten or drunk, including
        > many other flavors of Clif Bars.
        >
        [[R:]]
        The word "sustain" has a connotation of prolonging or suffering, while
        you seem to be saying that the Clif bars 'met your expectations' or
        'performed as you expected' them to.
        While grammatically acceptable, I am still recommending replacing
        'sustained' with something less confusing.
        > For flavors whose
        > taste I like, however -- and Blueberry Crisp is now high on that
        > list -- they are tasty enough to serve as all or most of a meal.
        [[R:]]
        This sentence is both redundant and confusing.
        First, flavor and taste are synonymous so you don't need both words here.
        Second, the caveat of flavors you like is unnecessary .
        "For flavors I like, however, they are tasty enough to serve as all or
        most of a meal."
        The prepositional phrase at the beginning, as well as the adverb
        'however' detract from and confuse the sentence.
        If you delete everything except the sentence "They are tasty enough to
        serve as all or most of a meal."



        > With
        > the Blueberry Crisp Clif has added another luscious flavor to its
        > year-round roster.
        >
        [[R:]]
        need a comma between crisp and cliff.

        > For snacks I'd like the choice
        > of a smaller size, similar to those I've received as promotional
        > items from time to time but not listed on Clif's website as
        > available at retail, as a full Bar can be a bit too filling when I
        > have serious hiking or other hard work immediately after eating.
        >
        [[R:]]
        This is a very cumbersome sentence. Perhaps breaking it down into two
        sentences would be helpful?




        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • richardglyon
        Rami, Thanks for the helpful edits. I made all suggested changes but one. You didn t distinguish between must-do edits and suggestions/comments, but I took
        Message 3 of 3 , Jul 8 7:55 AM
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          Rami, Thanks for the helpful edits. I made all suggested changes but
          one. You didn't distinguish between must-do edits and
          suggestions/comments, but I took the item below as a comment.
          Actually "Sustain" doesn't have the connotation you mention, in
          ordinary usage or my dictionary ("To keep in existence; to maintain").
          I consider this a matter of style and didn't change it. Richard
          --- In backpackgeartesters@yahoogroups.com, rami <noble.path@...>
          wrote:
          >
          >
          >> [[R:]]
          > The word "sustain" has a connotation of prolonging or suffering,
          while
          > you seem to be saying that the Clif bars 'met your expectations' or
          > 'performed as you expected' them to.
          > While grammatically acceptable, I am still recommending replacing
          > 'sustained' with something less confusing.
          > > >
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