67082EDITS: LTR - Exped DreamWalker - Coy Boy
- Dec 1, 2010Coy,
Thanks for an enjoyable read. I have a few items for your consideration in the traditional EDIT/Edit/Comment format. Please address these items and upload at will.
> I used now used the Exped DreamWalker Syn 133...-- Appears you started editing and didn't finish. Perhaps you meant "I have now used"?
> First of all... First of all... (under Long Term Testing Results)-- You used the phrase "first of all" two times within a few short sentences of each other. This reads a little awkwardly. You may wish to consider removing or changing one of them.
> ...it was a simple mater...-- Typo/spelling. Should be "matter."
> I can't imagine anything much worse than accidentally getting some poo on my sleeping bag and then having to sleep in it.-- Ha ha! Amen to that!
> In other word, I pulled the DreamWalker out of the hammock...-- Typo. Missed the plural on "words."
> Bottom line, I slept very good each night...-- Instead of the adjective "good," you need the adverb "well" to describe the verb "slept" in this sentence.
> And other then these nature calls I slept very good most of the night.-- Typo/spelling. "Then" should be "than."
--Also, here's another instance where you need the adverb "well" instead of the adjective "good" to describe the verb "slept."
> ... in relation to the bag under me but I fell it is worth noting.-- Typo/spelling. "Fell" should be "felt."
> The other thing I discovered it that by having the long version...-- I think this is just a typo, and you meant "is" instead of "it." However, you should re-read the sentence just to be sure that was your intent and fix accordingly.
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