Hold On! I'm Comin'!
- You know things are looking up when I start referencing Sam and Dave.
Soothe me, baby. I love me my crazy Junes, but this month has a way of
making me go all manic-depressive, minus the depressive!
As several eagle eyed subscribers have pointed out the new issue of The
East Village Inky is grievously behind schedule. Don't ask me how, but
I somehow managed to get myself padlocked into an undisclosed,
underground bunker whilst attempting to finish my novel. And it worked!
As soon as I typed The End, I immediately ran around to the front end
and started another draft. About four pages in, I gave myself a good,
refreshing spanking, found the key to the padlock, and emerged
squinting into the light only to be blindsided by the Coney Island
Mermaid Parade and 2 birthday parties (one of which involved escorting
15 jacked up kids 5 blocks to the subway in a torrential downpour, and
then shooting a zombie movie on the fly, George Romero style). Also
Inky's 5th grade graduation (I know, I can't believe it either) and the
hotly anticipated 5th grade graduation dance. Now I'm cleaning (what's
left of) my brains out for our sublettor. I'm not just putting that
because she's an East Village Inky subscriber who's quite possibly
slated to receive this missive. My vegetable bin is so dang clean, you
could eat vegetables out of it!
Then tomorrow we will finally decamp for the summer palace, where my
only assignment is to kick out that new Inky! For real. I have to,
before I set sail for New Hampshire. where I'll be appearing as a camp
counselor in order to defray the considerable cost of her Royal
Heiner's 3 week stay. This is a story for a future issue.
So, thank you for your patience! Renew your subscriptions and let me
know if you moved! Old Ma Brooklyn GPO assures me that the mail will be
forwarded, but that's what she's been saying for years, and something
always goes wonk. Through August 29, you can eliminate the squishy,
unreliable middle by writing me directly in care of the summer palace:
Ayun Halliday, Chief Primatologist, The East Village Inky
PO Box 1431
Wellfleet MA 02667
I'm reachable online as well, albeit at a more summery, dial-uppy pace.
There's a shoebox of back issues amid the long armed staplers and fancy
soy sauce that constitutes my luggage, but you may have to wait until
September for that specific ish you need to complete your collection.
Inquire first. Actually, send cash first, and lots of it. Then inquire.
No, on second thought, better do it the first way.
If your summer travel plans are of the armchair variety, allow me to
direct you to this bit of filmic fudge, in which I was lumped in with
four ACTUAL travel writers! The editor asked each of us for five films
that captured the essence of the cities in which they were set. At
first I was like, uhhh, I can't think of any that weren't set in New
York. Then I was like, dang, only five? Start with my recommendations,
then see what the genuine articles had to say:
Those itching to see us in our Mermaid Finery should look me up on
Facebook, where an album has been created for your viewing pleasure. I
tried to rig it so you can see it without actually having to register
to play in this ashtray, but my cavewoman-like technical abilities
leave some question as to whether this will work. Cross your fingers
and click this link:
If it didn't work, and you're as resistant as I once was to the
time-sucking prospect of hatching eggs, cyber Scrabble, pokes (not in
the Lonesome Dove sense) and tending the anthropomorphic gardens of
people you've never actually met in the name of allegedly saving a
couple of centimeters of real live rain forest, you can comfort
yourself (I'm not sure if that's the right word) with this short film,
shot for the gladiatorial circus that is Inky and Milo's school talent
show. This is the mess that inspired me to turn a perfectly normal
birthday party into an on-the-fly, in-the-can zombie opus. (I swear I
won't start editing it until the new East Village Inky is at the
Okay, I've got a medicine chest full of expired prescriptions and
embarrassing quick fixes, all of which needs to be tossed before I am
Best wishes for a mint-flavored, firefly-filled summer to you and
yours, from us and ours.
First Time Novelist
Dare To Be Heinie!