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Hold On! I'm Comin'!

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  • Greg Kotis & Ayun Halliday
    You know things are looking up when I start referencing Sam and Dave. Soothe me, baby. I love me my crazy Junes, but this month has a way of making me go all
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 28, 2008
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      You know things are looking up when I start referencing Sam and Dave.
      Soothe me, baby. I love me my crazy Junes, but this month has a way of
      making me go all manic-depressive, minus the depressive!

      As several eagle eyed subscribers have pointed out the new issue of The
      East Village Inky is grievously behind schedule. Don't ask me how, but
      I somehow managed to get myself padlocked into an undisclosed,
      underground bunker whilst attempting to finish my novel. And it worked!
      As soon as I typed The End, I immediately ran around to the front end
      and started another draft. About four pages in, I gave myself a good,
      refreshing spanking, found the key to the padlock, and emerged
      squinting into the light only to be blindsided by the Coney Island
      Mermaid Parade and 2 birthday parties (one of which involved escorting
      15 jacked up kids 5 blocks to the subway in a torrential downpour, and
      then shooting a zombie movie on the fly, George Romero style). Also
      Inky's 5th grade graduation (I know, I can't believe it either) and the
      hotly anticipated 5th grade graduation dance. Now I'm cleaning (what's
      left of) my brains out for our sublettor. I'm not just putting that
      because she's an East Village Inky subscriber who's quite possibly
      slated to receive this missive. My vegetable bin is so dang clean, you
      could eat vegetables out of it!

      Then tomorrow we will finally decamp for the summer palace, where my
      only assignment is to kick out that new Inky! For real. I have to,
      before I set sail for New Hampshire. where I'll be appearing as a camp
      counselor in order to defray the considerable cost of her Royal
      Heiner's 3 week stay. This is a story for a future issue.

      So, thank you for your patience! Renew your subscriptions and let me
      know if you moved! Old Ma Brooklyn GPO assures me that the mail will be
      forwarded, but that's what she's been saying for years, and something
      always goes wonk. Through August 29, you can eliminate the squishy,
      unreliable middle by writing me directly in care of the summer palace:

      Ayun Halliday, Chief Primatologist, The East Village Inky
      c/o KOTIS
      PO Box 1431
      Wellfleet MA 02667

      I'm reachable online as well, albeit at a more summery, dial-uppy pace.

      There's a shoebox of back issues amid the long armed staplers and fancy
      soy sauce that constitutes my luggage, but you may have to wait until
      September for that specific ish you need to complete your collection.
      Inquire first. Actually, send cash first, and lots of it. Then inquire.
      No, on second thought, better do it the first way.


      If your summer travel plans are of the armchair variety, allow me to
      direct you to this bit of filmic fudge, in which I was lumped in with
      four ACTUAL travel writers! The editor asked each of us for five films
      that captured the essence of the cities in which they were set. At
      first I was like, uhhh, I can't think of any that weren't set in New
      York. Then I was like, dang, only five? Start with my recommendations,
      then see what the genuine articles had to say:

      Those itching to see us in our Mermaid Finery should look me up on
      Facebook, where an album has been created for your viewing pleasure. I
      tried to rig it so you can see it without actually having to register
      to play in this ashtray, but my cavewoman-like technical abilities
      leave some question as to whether this will work. Cross your fingers
      and click this link:

      If it didn't work, and you're as resistant as I once was to the
      time-sucking prospect of hatching eggs, cyber Scrabble, pokes (not in
      the Lonesome Dove sense) and tending the anthropomorphic gardens of
      people you've never actually met in the name of allegedly saving a
      couple of centimeters of real live rain forest, you can comfort
      yourself (I'm not sure if that's the right word) with this short film,
      shot for the gladiatorial circus that is Inky and Milo's school talent
      show. This is the mess that inspired me to turn a perfectly normal
      birthday party into an on-the-fly, in-the-can zombie opus. (I swear I
      won't start editing it until the new East Village Inky is at the

      Okay, I've got a medicine chest full of expired prescriptions and
      embarrassing quick fixes, all of which needs to be tossed before I am
      found out!

      Best wishes for a mint-flavored, firefly-filled summer to you and
      yours, from us and ours.

      Ayun Halliday
      Chief Primatologist
      First Time Novelist
      Overburdened Charwoman
      Deadline Defier

      Dare To Be Heinie!
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