Valentine, Continue to Be Mine in this, The Year of the Rat.
- Gung Hay Fat Choy, Darling
This is going to be a quickie because that’s my paws are a tad achey-breaky following this week's finger-cramping East Village Inky marathon.
(My laptop fell off the toilet tank in the undisclosed underground bunker where I’ve been sequestered with something that’s beginning to feel like a novel, length-wise anyway. I figured this technological disaster was Nature’s way of telling me she wanted me to bang out the new issue of the zine and also see the Kara Walker exhibit at the Whitney. I’m not sure what Nature was trying to say when she accidentally caused me to delete an earlier version of this message before I could send it a couple of minutes ago. Maybe that I should stop dicking around with WiFi when I’ve been granted some child-free writing time by one who's under the impression I'll be working on something more literary than emails. Another dirty temptation to wrangle with! The ex-laptop had gravel where the Wi-Fi connection was supposed to be.)
In re: The East Village Inky, though, is your subscription up to date?
Did you move for the third time in three months?
Do you have a Valentine or a kindred Lonely Heart who might prefer back issues to spun sugar underpants?
Were you aware that there’s an online back issue synopsis for your ordering convenience? What a shame it would be to accidentally wind up with Hello Kitty and the 1981 Pillsbury Bake Off when you’re hankering after something more in the Alaskan Glory Hole / Sex Toys Disguised As Bananas Vein…
Brand spankin' issue #37 won't be stuffing up til mid-next week, but it shouldn't be too hard to convince anything prior to 36 to slip into a florid pink envelope in time for Valentine's Day (as celebrated in the continental United States, or any location within 3 day's postal carriage of NYC)
All you need is a credit card, a computer, and possibly a pencil to scratch that East Village Inky itch.
(If the itch persists, you probably missed a few nits.)
As long as you’re flinging money around, why not blow 8 bucks to hear me hauling Job Hopper out of mothballs at The Peoples Improv Theater.
I know I usually give it away for free, and believe me, there’s nothing I can do with that old thing that you can’t, provided you've got access to a mirror and a ratty brown wig:
BUT! If solo-pleasure wears thin, there’s plenty on this bill besides me getting my Bert on:
The singin', strummin', jokin', actin', rhymin', philosophizin' duo of Tim Ellis & Matthew Park
Comedian Dion Flynn performing "Silly Songs And Banter On Guitar, While Wearing A Red Clown Nose."
A special appearance by Melanie Martinez
Savage beast soothing, courtesy of Guitarist Phil Yanos.
Plus, the PIT has lots of board games and magazines in the lobby to help early birds brush up on their surgical, real estate-acquiring, battleship-sinking skills.
Friday, February 22, 7pm
Of the Moment
At The Peoples Improv Theater
154 West 29th Street, 2nd floor, NYC
TICKETS: $8. (Call 1-800-838-3006, credit card in hand, or pay at the door)
Good lord, what have I done? Better let Madame Palm and her Five Lovely Daughters to rest up for the orgy of stapling and stuffing they've got coming up on Thursday. Sounds hot because it is.
xoxoxoxox oooo xoxoxoxoxo Your Spaniel,
Slave to the Long-armed Swingline
Deep in the Throbbing, Panting Heart of The East Village Inky
Dare to be Heinie!