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can you write as tiny as me?

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  • Greg Kotis & Ayun Halliday
    Seeing as how I ve just crammed every mailbox in a three block radius full of East Village Inky #30s, now s probably as good a time as any to see if you can
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 28, 2006
      Seeing as how I've just crammed every mailbox in a three block radius
      full of East Village Inky #30s, now's probably as good a time as any to
      see if you can find the missing sentence.

      Oh wait, here it is!

      "He calls his grandma bà nôi."

      Maybe you can figure out where it goes! Hint: look for a glaring strip
      of negative space that renders the sentence following it completely
      incomprehensible, instead of deliciously droll.

      Instead of just sitting there waiting for Mr. Mailman to show up with
      something for you to read on the toilet later this week, why not
      practice your penmanship? Can you write as tiny as me? It's easy! Just
      double up your spine until your nose is about half a centimeter from
      the paper. If your vowels look like pepper, I dub thee an underscribe
      of the East Village Inky and authorize thee to fill in the
      aforementioned missing sentence when your Inky arrives.

      In other news:

      On March 30, subscribers in Cullowhee, North Carolina will get a chance
      to see what I look like when I get up at four in the morning the day
      after my birthday, when I give a 2 pm reading and (assuming my alarm
      clock goes off and my plane departs as scheduled) participate in an
      earlier panel discussion as part of Western Carolina University's
      Spring Literary Festival
      University Theater
      A.K. Hinds University Center
      210 University Center
      Cullowhee NC
      For more information, please contact the English Department at WCU

      If you're hankering after something strange for dinner tonight, may I
      recommend that thou hitherest thine heiner to my new food blog,
      http://www.dirtysugarcookies.blogspot.com ? What it lacks in red meat,
      it makes up for in homemade sushi and a blurry photo of Greg with a
      dishtowel on his head.

      Speaking of Dirty Sugar Cookies, my book, Dirty Sugar Cookies: Culinary
      Observations, Questionable Taste is a couple of months shy of
      publication, so if you've got the ear of someone who writes about food
      or books, lay their contact info on me and I'll lay it on my publicist
      (who just gave her dang notice, which is why I'm firing up the old
      guerilla marketeering machine so early...). Here, take a look at the
      Kind of puts you in mind of A Million Little Pieces, doesn't it? That's
      because I was James Frey's cellmate in prison.

      xo, Ayun Halliday, Chief of Primatology.

      Dare to be Heinie! http://www.ayunhalliday.com

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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