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Re: [anthroposophy_tomorrow] Open hearted listening

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  • Gisele
    Michael Helsher wrote: So I say to her: You were really hurt when I stopped working last year, and we were broke, and couldn t pay the
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 12 4:23 PM

      Michael Helsher <mhelsher@...> wrote:

      So I say to her: "You were really hurt when I stopped working last year, and
      we were broke, and couldn't pay the bills, or buy food". I continue to
      mirror her statements until she is finished with other related grievances. I
      then validate her feelings by saying something like:" I can completely
      understand why you would be upset about being broke. You are a mother to our
      children, and you need to feel secure about having a place to live, and
      having food on the table."

      ~Well done Michael, you cannot imagine how envious I feel now! (Especially because if I don't feel secure and have no food on the table I can only complain to myself, so then I must listen to myself without letting myself taking over and then reply to the complaining myself not from myself out of work point of view but minding to care about myself.... ahi it's a bit complicated.)

      As simple as it sounds, I can say that it is not easy,

      as I was saying, I wholeheartedly agree,

       and, like anything
      else, it takes allot of practice to get good at it.

       I will try...../

      But I can also say that
      there was a deep satisfaction for me (and I will venture to say that it was
      so for my wife as well) in being heard and validated, without being judged.

      What a practical way to really put into practice the idea of "living

      So don't forget to "listen with an open heart".

      Truth and Love

      Mike Helsher

      Jokes apart, (it was true though) well done and triple cheers


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