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Re: If I Were a Hole Man (was: Hole-Nazis Exposed!)

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  • Frank Thomas Smith
    ... _______ Sounds more like an over-long jingle. The old Pepsi one is more concise: Pepsi Cola hits the spot, 12 full ounces that s a lot, Twice as much and a
    Message 1 of 8 , Apr 26, 2008
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      --- In anthroposophy_tomorrow@yahoogroups.com, "elfuncle"
      <hisholiness@...> wrote:
      >
      >
      >
      > Couldn't help myself, I just wrote a song for a musical.... Critic On
      > The Roof -- it's called "If I Were A Hole Man" (a basement production):
      _______
      Sounds more like an over-long jingle. The old Pepsi one is more concise:

      Pepsi Cola hits the spot,
      12 full ounces that's a lot,
      Twice as much and a nickel too,
      Pepsi Cola is the drink for you.

      Transmogrified, it is now:

      Waldorf Critics hit the pot,
      12 full gallons that's a lot,
      Thrice as much and a trickle too,
      Waldorf Critics are the creeps for you.

      Frank (bowing to applause)

      >
      >
      > IF I WERE A HOLE MAN
      >
      > "Dear Primordial Chemical Soup, you made many, many anthroposophists.
      > I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be an anthroposophist.
      > But it's no great honor either!
      > So, what would have been so terrible if I were a little more critical?"
      >
      > If I were a hole man,
      > Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
      > All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
      > If I were a nasty man.
      > I wouldn't have to think hard.
      > Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
      > If I were a biddy biddy bitch,
      > Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
      >
      > I'd build an anti-Steiner school with classrooms by the dozen,
      > Right in the middle of the town.
      > A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.
      > There would be all kinds of demons just going up,
      > And even worse ones coming down,
      > And one more taking you nowhere, just for show.
      >
      > I'd fill my yard with rats and vermin and asuras
      > For the courts to see and hear.
      > And each loud "yack" and "muck" and "blah" and "schmuck"
      > Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
      > As if to say "Here lives a hole man."
      >
      > If I were a hole man,
      > Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
      > All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
      > If I were a nasty man.
      > I wouldn't have to think hard.
      > Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
      > If I were a biddy biddy bitch,
      > Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
      >
      > I see my wife, my hole girl, looking like a hole man's wife
      > With a proper evil-chin.
      > Supervising the toilet to her heart's delight.
      > I see her filling up with air and awful constipation.
      > Oy, what a ferocious mood she's in.
      > Screaming at the anthros, day and night.
      >
      > The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!
      > They would ask me to advise them,
      > Like a Staudenmaier the Wise.
      > "If you please, Dan Dugan..."
      > "Pardon me, Dan Dugan..."
      > Posing problems that would cross an atheist's eyes!
      > And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong.
      > When you're a hole man, they think you really know!
      >
      > If I were nasty, I'd have the time that I lack
      > To sit down on that toilet and curse.
      > And maybe have a dump by the City Hall.
      > And I'd discuss the critical books with the learned asuras, several
      > hours every day.
      > That would be the sweetest thing of all.
      >
      > If I were a hole man,
      > Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
      > All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
      > If I were a nasty man.
      > I wouldn't have to think hard.
      > Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
      > If I were a biddy biddy bitch,
      > Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
      >
      >
      > Cheers,
      >
      > Tarjei
      >
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