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Avenue Q: A Song for Diana -- and the rest of us too!

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  • JoAnn Schwartz
    Dear All, I thought in the wake of Diana s insistent questioning, we could use a little lightness.... Note how in the lyrics, Gary Coleman makes Polack jokes,
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 2, 2007
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      Dear All,

      I thought in the wake of Diana's insistent questioning, we
      could use a little lightness....

      Note how in the lyrics, Gary Coleman makes Polack jokes,
      but in the video (from the London production), he makes
      French jokes.....

      Musing the more things change...
      JoAnn


      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9CSnlb-ymA


      Lyrics: Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

      Princeton:
      Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

      Kate Monster:
      Sure!

      Princeton:
      Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

      Kate Monster:
      Uh huh.

      Princeton:
      Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

      Kate Monster:
      Right.

      Princeton:
      You're both Monsters.

      Kate Monster:
      Yeah.

      Princeton:
      Are you two related?

      Kate Monster:
      What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

      Princeton:
      Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

      Kate Monster:
      Well, it's a touchy subject.
      No, not all Monsters are related.
      What are you trying say, huh?
      That we all look the same to you?
      Huh, huh, huh?

      Princeton:
      No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
      I guess that was a little racist.

      Kate Monster:
      I should say so. You should be much more
      careful when you're talking about the
      sensitive subject of race.

      Princeton:
      Well, look who's talking!

      Kate Monster:
      What do you mean?

      Princeton:
      What about that special Monster School you told me about?

      Kate Monster:
      What about it?

      Princeton:
      Could someone like me go there?

      Kate Monster:
      No, we don't want people like you-

      Princeton:
      You see?!

      You're a little bit racist.

      Kate Monster:
      Well, you're a little bit too.

      Princeton:
      I guess we're both a little bit racist.

      Kate Monster:
      Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

      Princeton:
      But I guess it's true.

      Kate Monster:
      Between me and you,
      I think

      Both:
      Everyone's a little bit racist
      Sometimes.
      Doesn't mean we go
      Around committing hate crimes.
      Look around and you will find
      No one's really color blind.
      Maybe it's a fact
      We all should face
      Everyone makes judgments
      Based on race.

      Princeton:
      Now not big judgments, like who to hire
      or who to buy a newspaper from -

      Kate Monster:
      No!

      Princeton:
      No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
      busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

      Kate Monster:
      Right!

      Both:
      Everyone's a little bit racist
      Today.
      So, everyone's a little bit racist
      Okay!
      Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
      But you laugh because
      They're based on truth.
      Don't take them as
      Personal attacks.
      Everyone enjoys them -
      So relax!

      Princeton:
      All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

      Kate Monster:
      Okay!

      Princeton:
      There's a plan going down and there's only
      one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

      Kate Monster:
      And a black guy!

      Gary Coleman:
      Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

      Kate Monster:
      Uh...

      Gary Coleman:
      You were telling a black joke!

      Princeton:
      Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

      Gary Coleman:
      I don't.

      Princeton:
      Well, of course you don't - you're black!
      But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

      Gary Coleman:
      Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

      Princeton:
      Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

      Gary Coleman:
      Well, damn, I guess you're right.

      Kate Monster:
      You're a little bit racist.

      Gary Coleman:
      Well, you're a little bit too.

      Princeton:
      We're all a little bit racist.

      Gary Coleman:
      I think that I would
      Have to agree with you.

      Princeton/Kate Monster:
      We're glad you do.

      Gary Coleman:
      It's sad but true!
      Everyone's a little bit racist -

      All right!

      Kate Monster:
      All right!

      Princeton:
      All right!

      Gary Coleman:
      All right!
      Bigotry has never been
      Exclusively white

      All:
      If we all could just admit
      That we are racist a little bit,
      Even though we all know
      That it's wrong,
      Maybe it would help us
      Get along.

      Princeton:
      Oh, Christ do I feel good.

      Gary Coleman:
      Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

      Princeton:
      Who?

      Gary Coleman:
      Jesus Christ.

      Kate Monster:
      But, Gary, Jesus was white.

      Gary Coleman:
      No, Jesus was black.

      Kate Monster:
      No, Jesus was white.

      Gary Coleman:
      No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

      Princeton:
      Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

      Brian:
      Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

      Gary Coleman:
      Racism!

      Brian:
      Cool.

      Christmas Eve:
      BRIAN! Come back here!
      You take out lecycuraburs!

      Princeton:
      What's that mean?

      Brian:
      Um, recyclables.
      Hey, don't laugh at her!
      How many languages do you speak?

      Kate Monster:
      Oh, come off it, Brian!
      Everyone's a little bit racist.

      Brian:
      I'm not!

      Princeton:
      Oh no?

      Brian:
      Nope!

      How many Oriental wives
      Have you got?

      Christmas Eve:
      What? Brian!

      Princeton:
      Brian, buddy, where you been?
      The term is Asian-American!

      Christmas Eve:
      I know you are no
      Intending to be
      But calling me Oriental -
      Offensive to me!

      Brian:
      I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

      Christmas Eve:
      And I love you.

      Brian:
      But you're racist, too.

      Christmas Eve:
      Yes, I know.
      The Jews have all
      The money
      And the whites have all
      The power.
      And I'm always in taxi-cab
      With driver who no shower!

      Princeton:
      Me too!

      Kate Monster:
      Me too!

      Gary Coleman:
      I can't even get a taxi!

      All:
      Everyone's a little bit racist
      It's true.
      But everyone is just about
      As racist as you!
      If we all could just admit
      That we are racist a little bit,
      And everyone stopped being
      So PC
      Maybe we could live in -
      Harmony!

      Christmas Eve:
      Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!





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      "Life's short and we never have enough time for the hearts of those who travel the way with us. O, be swift to love! Make haste to be kind." --Henri-Frederic Amiel
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