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Awakening to Community

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  • dottie zold
    Well, I m at the end of my 43rd year and heading into 44. Interesting to actually be observing that which is ending and that which is now coming into being.
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 3, 2006
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      Well, I'm at the end of my 43rd year and heading into
      44. Interesting to actually be observing that which is
      ending and that which is now coming into being. Each
      year almost seems to start anew on my birthday or that
      is how it seems to my own life cycle.

      So I am ending this day before tomorrow having
      finished a pretty interesting year. As I was
      contemplating this on the way home from the Harmony of
      Hearts conference I found myself confronting an image
      of myself ten years ago when I began this search with
      Rudolf Steiner. I had encountered my own guardian in a
      very physical manner and saw what it looked like if my
      physical spiritual Essence could be seen: and it was
      hideous. I remember writing about this woman I
      encountered on the bus and she was like someone from
      another world: I had never ever seen a human being
      till this day look like that. I remember wondering 'oh
      my goodness I can't believe I am seeing this woman', I
      can't believe someone would even get on the bus let
      alone in public that looked like that. She had a
      bulging eye, and missing and seperated teeth,
      literally she looked like the Huntchback of Notre
      Dame. It never occurred to me then who she was to me
      although from time to time I would think back to that
      very moment on the bus when she walked past me. It was
      incredibly shocking.

      Today as I was driving home I saw a woman, I mean
      again something like this picture or something, and
      she was this archtypal woman who was blind, with her
      seeing cane, standing there as if she was one of the
      beggars of the church. It seemed she was waiting for
      someone to come and pick her up and you could tell she
      was pious, blind, and peasantly.

      I thought to myself, what a strange picture, she looks
      like she comes right out of a fairy tale. And then I
      thought, oh, maybe thats me in that it represents my
      movement from this year to the next and that I am
      still blind. And it occurred to me that in this 44th
      year that I am to work strictly out of my higher self.
      This would require that I think clearly and slowly
      about things and if they are working out of the
      future, out of my eternal being that is perfect in the
      spiritual worlds.

      So I am driving with this thought when I come upon a
      man standing by a tree waiting for a bus at a place I
      didn't even know there was a bustop. Well, actually I
      don't even know if it was a busstop but it appeared as
      if he was waiting for the bus. This man is a man I
      have seen since coming to HOllywood who is the exact
      twin of a man who plays a rapist on one of the Soaps I
      watched as a girl. And he always geve me the creeps
      and was a reminder to me of that rape and then how one
      has to be careful and so forth.

      It started to occur to me that I was seeing now, where
      I am standing as I go into this very important 44th
      year which represents for me the Double Goddess. And I
      realized that I could see an imagination of the three
      times in my consciousness that I had this archtypal
      picture of own inner state of my Essence. I could look
      back to that first woman who rocked my world and
      realized she represented the state my soul was in. And
      now ten years later I can find that I have moved on
      and up but with the man who represents this sexualness
      that is uncomfortable for me that I still have some
      unfinished business within myself relating to the
      pulls of love in the physical sense.

      So anyhow, I thought it interesting to share that one
      can actually have a picture of what the soul state is
      of oneself if one is attentive and working on oneself.
      I mean it can actually show itself outside of
      ourselves so we can have a picture, almost a symbol,
      like from a dream that if we allow it and work on it
      we can actually see the change of where we stand in
      this process of the Lower Guardian and the Higher

      Well, I hadn't intended to write this and so now I
      will write what I had intended. Mr. Hale has been
      proclaiming that the Anthroposophia conference was
      akind to something from a Gandhishapur type of working
      and thought to claim that we were trying to invoke a
      being, Anthroposophia and that we did this figure 8
      and that represents yahdayadaya. So, I had put some
      literature together for the conference that just took
      place this weekend and although I am sure that this
      shall not mean anything to him as he seems to always
      ignore the things that Rudolf Steiner has said about
      the instreaming of the Sixth Epoch and Anthroposophia
      that does not meet his own personal understanding of
      those thoughts.

      Awakening to Community
      Stuttgart, February 27, 1923

      "A real spiritual being must be present in a room
      where anthroposophy is being carried on, and this is a
      direct result of the way anthroposophical ideas are
      being absorbed. Our hearts and souls and attitudes
      must learn similarly to invoke the presence of a real
      being in teh room where anthroposophy is being talked
      of. We must so attune our speaking, our feelings, our
      thinking, our impulses of will to a spiritual purpose,
      avoiding the pitfal of the abstract, that we can feel
      a real spiritual being hovering there above us,
      looking and listening. We should divine a
      supersensible presence, invoked by our pursuit of
      anthroposophy. Then, each single anthroposophical
      activity can begin to be a realizing of the

      ~ Rudolf Steiner

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