- "What if the 'Rapture' happened but you were left behind? That's
what millions of Christians are wondering amid mounting evidence
that the Rapture, the much-anticipated event in which God summons
his faithful to the heavens, may have happened earlier this month.
Among the startled 'still here': House Majority Leader Tom DeLay,
just one of the political leaders who had expected to be making the
From Capitol Hill to Kansas, finger pointing and questioning: 'why
are we still here?'
March 29, 2005
By Deanna Swift
WASHINGTON, DC--When House Majority Leader Tom DeLay delivered a
moving speech from the halls of Congress last week, in which he
argued that his political enemies are persecuting him because of his
religious faith, there was just one problem: he wasn't supposed to
be there. Earlier this month, say observers, the 'Rapture,' the much-
anticipated event in which God summons his faithful to the heavens,
But instead of Mr. DeLay and millions of other believers making the
skyward trek, the biblical bash appears to have been an exclusive,
invitation-only affair. As of today, fewer than three dozen
Christians are confirmed to have been 'raptured,' leaving their
rejected brethren to deal with seven years of Tribulation, a
turbulent period marked by the return of the anti-Christ.
For those who had hoped to be cashing in on their heavenly rewards,
these are days of soul searching and regret. From Capitol Hill to
the mega-churches of the south, disappointed travelers are asking
the same questions: 'Why not me?' 'What did I do wrong?' and 'Was it
something I said?'
The lucky few
David Dumé, originally of Spring Hill, KS, appears to be among the
lucky few who are currently enjoying the company of the world's most
famous father. Mr. Dumé, who had recently returned to Kansas from
Hollywood, where he enjoyed a short but lucrative career in adult-
themed films, was expected to attend a potluck supper and informal
prayer session at the Spring Hill Baptist Churchbut disappeared
from site just minutes after reaching the building.
Stunned onlookers say that they watched aghast as Mr. Dumé "flew up
through the ceiling," leaving a pile of clothing, gold jewelry, an
outsized diamond-covered crucifix, and several piercings and chains
behind. Experts say that the fact that Mr. Dumé and others cast off
such earthly accoutrements is another sure sign that they were
And the not-so-lucky
The pastor of the church, Roy DeLong, who is also an active
supporter of conservative political causes including a
constitutional ban on gay marriage and private Social Security
accounts, says that he is personally shocked that Mr. Dumé was
chosen to make the trip, while he and so many other more faithful
believers remain behind. "He was not even a regular presence around
here, that's what's so startling. I don't want to say that mistakes
were made, but you really have to wonder about the selection process
here," says Pastor DeLong.
DeLong, who also heads up the Baptist Leadership Council, will join
other prominent Christian leaders, including the Reverends Tim
Lahaye, James Dobson and Franklin Graham, for an emergency meeting
later this week. "At this point, we're concluding that this was
probably a practice round before the real deal," says Pastor
DeLong. "That's the only way this makes any sense. He left behind
all of the wrong people. Why would He do that?"
The rightleft behind
Meanwhile, no one appears to have made the trip upwards from Capitol
Hill. Beltway observers had speculated that dozens of high-profile
leaders, including President Bush and Representative DeLay, would be
raptured, possibly setting off a complex battle over succession
within the halls of power.
So certain were these men that their earthly tenure was coming to an
end, say sources, that they scheduled a lengthy break over the
Easter weekend. While Stewart Roy, a spokesman for Mr. DeLay,
refused to acknowledge that the House Majority Leader has indeed
been left behind, he did confirm that the Texas representative is
taking some much-needed time off. "Let's just say that there are
some unexpected openings in his schedule. I'm not going to say
anything more than that."