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Maybe you can help me...

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  • chelseasummer
    A warm hello to you all... First, I would like to introduce myself... My name is Chelsea and I am currently living in Japan, teaching English in a public high
    Message 1 of 6 , Nov 1, 2003
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      A warm hello to you all...
      First, I would like to introduce myself...
      My name is Chelsea and I am currently living in Japan, teaching
      English in a public high school in Saga, on the southern island of
      Kyushu...I came here on my own about a year and a half ago...to not
      only embrace the language and culture, but to also in a very real
      sense find myself... I left behind the familiar, and stepped out in
      the unknown...I needed to be on my own so that I could find what was
      right for me, not for any of the other million influences in my
      life...

      My dream since I was 18 years old has been to become a Waldorf
      teacher... All my life, I have loved alternative education... In
      part because it is through alternative means of education that I
      have grown the most and more importantly, been given the strength I
      needed, to really help and love those around me...

      My mom was a Montessori teacher...I was blessed to go to private
      schools where I was nurtured and loved by my teachers until I was 9
      years old...but then circumstances gave my parents no other choice
      than to send me to public school at the end of 3rd grade...

      The equivalent of throwing a lamb to the wolves.

      But the beautiful thing in life is that good memories make us
      stronger, and always lead us back to our source...

      At the end of tenth grade, I made a careful decision to leave behind
      the cliques and status of public high school, and step into a
      familiar unknown, a small, Christian private school, where there
      were 200 students from kindergarten to 12th grade.

      It was one of the best decisions I ever made...I found a community
      where teachers and students prayed together...where we could rest
      our minds in love and fellowship... I found a family...and that made
      learning so much easier! We were accountable to each other and we
      respected each other. I could let my guard down...and I will never
      forget how the elementary kids adored us, looked up to us like gods!
      Realizing the influence I had on others, and seeing how much they
      looked up to me, really made me think twice about the decisions I
      made...another beautiful aspect of my small private Christian school
      in Texas...My Bible teacher was in her 60s and she wore Converse
      with her long skirts. At track meets, the team would stand in a
      circle and pray for each other before the race.

      There was so much love....

      And then, during the summers, I was a camp counselor...living in the
      hot and humid piney-woods of east Texas...another realm that was
      permeating with love... more education for the heart...

      I've always struggled knowing where I fit in the Christian world. I
      am accepting to other paths too... And a lot of what I have
      experienced in churches is duality, the we versus them attitude...
      Which is why I found this list.

      I need help! I need someone to share ideas with! ...I finished
      university and never felt free enough to really pursue this
      interest...my fault because I cared too much about what my family
      would think, or whether they would understand....but here I am, in
      Japan...growing on my own and still feeling called to become more
      than a teacher, but a guide and facilitator for growth for kids...I
      also feel like understanding the child in this way will help me be
      an even better mom, which is my ultimate goal in life anyway.

      I need someone who understands what I am struggling with...because I
      have been reading now a lot of Steiner's work. How does someone who
      has had real experiences with Jesus fit into Steiner Education? I
      wonder what it will be like when I get to the teacher training? Is
      there a place for someone like me who loves the Lord?

      Also, is there anyone on this list who can explain to me what Rudolf
      Steiner means when he talks about luciferic beings? Sorry, but that
      is a buzz word for backing off. It is difficult to understand a lot
      of his stuff...Is there such a thing as a Christian Waldorf teacher?

      Please help me...

      In love,

      Chelsea
    • Maurice McCarthy
      Chelsea, Welcome to the list. I ve been too self-absorbed recently to post here but there are many fine folk about here. I m a middle-aged old Brit working in
      Message 2 of 6 , Nov 1, 2003
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        Chelsea,

        Welcome to the list. I've been too self-absorbed recently to post here but
        there are many fine folk about here. I'm a middle-aged old Brit working in
        the North Sea oil fields from where I write to you now. You'll find a
        company disclaimer at the end of this message because of that. Ignore it.

        Behind every child there stands an angel and every parent, guardian and
        teacher essentially joins with that angel in the spiritual vocation of
        raising the child into adulthood as well as they can under their conditions.
        Steiner was indeed a Christian but one unlike any other you will meet. His
        understanding of Christianity is very different to any other. If I had to
        put his philosophy into a motto I'd that properly understood ...

        Freedom and morality coincide.

        To cut a long story short he identifies thinking, i.e. the act of knowledge,
        as identical to Christ. "I" do not think, not "I" but Christ in me. Thinking
        confers freedom and freedom means that He allows the possibility of both
        Good and Evil. As much as it is distasteful to us, Christ allows all
        possibilities including the devil and still trusts that we will return to
        Him. In fact he even trusts us to help the salvation of the devil himself -
        given a very, very long time.

        The diabolic has, etymologically, two meanings therefore there are two
        devils whom Steiner calls Lucifer (a latin name meaning the bringer of light
        !!! Lucifer is a fallen angel.) and Ahriman (the darker of the twin gods in
        Ancient Persia) Ahriman is Satan. The first is the tempter and the second
        the power freak, the deceiver. My first wife was mortified when my young 6
        year old daughter wanted to put Lucifer on the Christmas tree because he had
        been expelled from heaven.

        A luciferic being is one who wants to advance yourself more quickly than you
        are able to. The luciferic and ahrimanic beings can work together in the
        most complicated way and living on earth means having to harmonise their
        doings into something better. Rather like recycling the trash, make
        something good out of something smelly.

        You can isolate yourself from the devils agents but those left outside then
        would have to cope with their redoubled efforts on their own and so Christ
        came to save the whole world and not just a few, to set an Example. RS
        believed that the Crucifixion was a planning for what the world of mankind
        would facing exactly now, 2000 years later. The spirit makes long term
        plans.


        Hope this helps somewhat
        Maurice



        -----Original Message-----
        From: chelseasummer [mailto:chelseasummer@...]
        Sent: Saturday, November 01, 2003 04:45 PM
        To: anthroposophy@yahoogroups.com
        Subject: [anthroposophy] Maybe you can help me...


        ...

        I need someone who understands what I am struggling with...because I
        have been reading now a lot of Steiner's work. How does someone who
        has had real experiences with Jesus fit into Steiner Education? I
        wonder what it will be like when I get to the teacher training? Is
        there a place for someone like me who loves the Lord?

        Also, is there anyone on this list who can explain to me what Rudolf
        Steiner means when he talks about luciferic beings? Sorry, but that
        is a buzz word for backing off. It is difficult to understand a lot
        of his stuff...Is there such a thing as a Christian Waldorf teacher?

        Please help me...

        In love,

        Chelsea



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      • Maurice McCarthy
        Chelsea On the subject on having to live with the Adversary another member of this list, namely Joel, wrote something I found beautiful in SteinerStudy about
        Message 3 of 6 , Nov 1, 2003
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          Chelsea

          On the subject on having to live with the Adversary another member of this
          list, namely Joel, wrote something I found beautiful in SteinerStudy about
          two months ago. It is out of context here so does not quite have the same
          impact but ... (I hope he does not mind)

          " ... I start with the following schematic:

          spiritual world - soul - (l/d)I-am(a/d) - soul - sense world

          ....... "

          " You will note that in the schematic above the center term was:
          (l/d)I-am(a/d). This is a reference to the luciferic and ahrimanic
          doubles, which are so intimately connected to the I-am that to our ordinary
          consciousness these three are indistinguishable. These two shadow Beings
          are quite necessary to our development, and our attention and intention
          tend to move among the three in a kind of lemniscate pattern. When our
          inner discipline has reached the point that we can begin to distinguish
          clearly in our ordinary consciousness among these three, thinking is now
          ready
          to move to its moral center."

          " By moral center, I mean a condition of intention and attention where
          every inner and outer action is rooted in moral imagination. More and more
          the I-am comes to live in the Good and the True (the Eternal), without
          succumbing to the imprecations of either shadow Being. This experience
          begins in the form of a kind of war, but finds its true balance in an inner
          gesture of gratitude, for the shadow Beings are only met and known when
          their
          efforts on behalf of our biography are admitted and fully appreciated."

          " Thus, to live in our moral center also means to come to peace with
          the
          mystery of Evil as that manifests in our own soul life.

          My 2 cents."

          warm regards,
          joel

          ------------------------------

          Very Best Wishes
          Maurice


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          This e-mail message may contain privileged/confidential information.
          It is intended solely for the addressee. If you are not the indicated
          addressee (or responsible for delivery to such a person)
          you shall neither read nor retain this message, copy or distribute it to
          anyone, or use this e-mail for any other purpose. In such cases, please
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        • Cheeseandsalsa@aol.com
          Hello Chelsea, I can identify with much that you posted. I planned on going into seminary after a very conservative college education. I found myself on the
          Message 4 of 6 , Nov 1, 2003
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            Hello Chelsea,  I can identify with much that you posted.  I planned on going into seminary after a very conservative college education.  I found myself on the opposite end fighting against their "us against them" mindset.  I visited Priests,Hindu temples,all kinds of faiths for the Christian religion a true foot soilder for Christianity.
              I too felt that connection to God and the so very strong pull of the love of Jesus. Christianity didn't fail me it was the people around it that failed me.  However, that pull never left me completely.  Now I have found this and feel so much freedom, spiritual freedom with no limitations.  Just like the "freedom in Christ" that I used to love about mainstream Christianity.  The truth is how much freedom is there in Christianity if it is OUR job to submit it to the masses?  You feel as if that goal can never be attained in one lifetime.  This may be just a different angle that is all.  There is so much divine truth for us all.  How we decide to find it is up to us.  Thank you Maurice for your last post.  It is always good to hear from you.  Much Love and Light, Chantel
          • Maurice McCarthy
            It is a pleasure to be able to share after long tormented years in the wilderness. Maurice ... From: Cheeseandsalsa@aol.com [mailto:Cheeseandsalsa@aol.com]
            Message 5 of 6 , Nov 1, 2003
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              It is a pleasure to be able to share after long tormented years in the
              wilderness.

              Maurice

              -----Original Message-----
              From: Cheeseandsalsa@... [mailto:Cheeseandsalsa@...]
              Sent: Sunday, November 02, 2003 03:50 AM
              To: anthroposophy@yahoogroups.com
              Subject: Re: [anthroposophy] Maybe you can help me...


              ... Thank you Maurice for your last post. It is always good to hear from
              you. Much Love and Light, Chantel


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              This e-mail message may contain privileged/confidential information.
              It is intended solely for the addressee. If you are not the indicated
              addressee (or responsible for delivery to such a person)
              you shall neither read nor retain this message, copy or distribute it to
              anyone, or use this e-mail for any other purpose. In such cases, please
              destroy the message immediately and notify the sender by return e-mail.

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            • Cheeseandsalsa@aol.com
              What you said is so true! Sometimes I just hope to find a grey hair in my head as a sign that old age is approaching so I can go on in devachan and the rest.
              Message 6 of 6 , Nov 1, 2003
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                What you said is so true!  Sometimes I just hope to find a grey hair in my head as a sign that old age is approaching so I can go on in devachan and the rest.  I have found the best way to survive on this planet in what I am studying.  It is not always easy being around others who don't heed it enough.  But you recieve their love and warmth and that leaves one with much blessing and sustaining love.  There are many WAYS to say the same thing!   Sending you warmth in the Northern Sea.  Hope you are enjoying the ancient floor of Atlantis!  Chantel
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