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Dear Spiritual Survivor

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  • golden3000997@cs.com
    Dear Spiritual Survivor, Just so that you know that who is speaking to you now understands, to a certain extent, what you are going through, I was an evacuee
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 5, 2005
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      Dear Spiritual Survivor,

      Just so that you know that who is speaking to you now understands, to a certain extent, what you are going through, I was an evacuee from Hurricane Andrew in August of 1992. I had recently come out of two months in a shelter for battered women in South Florida and was staying with a family in Perrine (near Homestead) when Andrew was born in the Atlantic. As the hurricane rapidly grew and developed, the family that I was living with decided to take their children and dogs to a motel. I decided to get into my $100.00 car and try to drive to Gainesville, where I had spent the previous year. I called another acquaintance who said that I could stay on their couch if I could get there. I put everything that I owned into my "rolling garbage can" and took off on a drive up the Florida Turnpike. This drive, which had previously taken about six hours, took eleven hours. We were packed bumper to bumper. I drove alongside whole families, extended families and people in cars loaded with pets. At that time, a relatively small percentage of South Floridians had chosen to evacuate, but the roads were nevertheless packed. I often said afterward, when the full impact of Hurricane Andrew was understood, that I would not choose to evacuate again because so many more people would leave the next time and I felt that many would be trapped on the highway.

      I spent a long time homeless and in difficult situations. I had no close family to help and, since I had not owned any property, I was not eligible for help from FEMA or the Red Cross. I managed to get a minimum wage job, but it was not enough to rent an apartment. I bounced from place to place and returned to South Florida about six months later, got an efficiency apartment and two jobs and little by little worked my way back up. Still, the past decade has not been easy. I have gone through two hospitalizations and several periods of unemployment. I have lived paycheck to paycheck and often faced the threat of eviction. I have had more than one period in my life where I lost everything at once - home, job, loved one. I have often cried in despair and screamed "Why me, God?" "Why hast Thou forsaken me?" I know so well what it feels like not to be able to see tomorrow. But I did survive. You will, too.

      You will never be the same, though. You are not the same person you were a week ago. You have been in a terrible accident. Your scars may not be visible to the physical eye, but they certainly are to the spiritual eye. Your physical body may be wrecked at this moment, or you may have "escaped" ahead of the storm itself. But your sense of self is in absolute ruin. Everything you had, in a material sense is gone. You may have lost your loved ones permanently or temporarily. You have lost your home and your job. There is no use comparing your situation to anyone else's - their losses to yours. Your losses are your losses and they hurt as much as you can bear, maybe more so. You are in terrible pain and it will take a great deal to even bandage, much less heal, your wounds.

      What you need to keep telling yourself is that there IS a reason for this. It is NOT proof that life is meaningless and that we are totally helpless. It is NOT a punishment from God!! This is what you chose before you were born. This horrible tribulation is something that you decided to be a part of while you were still in the spiritual world. You have placed yourself at a moment of time and at a particular place to go through a mass death and resurrection experience. You are a tremendous spiritual being who has decided to go through an enormous test of strength and endurance. You have chosen to put yourself at the mercy of circumstances and the kindness of strangers. You may be on the receiving end for quite a while to come. But someday - someday - you will again be able to give to others. It may be in a material sense, or it may be in some other human way. But you will have something to give that you may not have had before. You will have the understanding of a survivor. A spiritual survivor.

      While you are in the midst of the present chaos in your life, cling to the hope, faith and knowledge that you are being born into a new life and that a new life is being born in and through you. You will never be the same. But you can and will be better - stronger and with a greater certainty of what truly matters and is eternal in human life.

      Christ knows you. He knows the pain, horror and despair that you feel. He has not caused this, not "done this to you" but He has allowed us to do this to ourselves. We are guided to be in a certain place or not be there, but it is according to the choices we made in freedom before we were born. These circumstances are not a "judgement" on us from Heaven. If there is any judgement involved, it will be how we judge ourselves from a spiritual perspective and what we understand that we need to spiritually evolve.

      Christ is the creative Logos of God - the Word of God through which all life came into existence. This Aspect of God, which lived in the Flesh - felt hunger and thirst, cold and heat, the heat and dust of the road under thin sandals, and the ultimate moment of feeling totally abandoned and forsaken. This Christ Being stands before you, visible only with eyes that may still be closed. The Christ Being stands before you, inviting you to touch the wounds on His hands and to eat bread with Him, inviting you to understand that even if the entire physical body is lost, it can and will be regained - new and eternal and very real.

      No one can tell you what your path is. No one can really show you the way. Somewhere inside you is the blueprint. But others will come to you to help you while you are finding your way. The people that you are about to meet, or may be meeting right now may not be what you expected. You may not be what they expected. But your Angel and their Angels have placed you in the meeting place that you chose long ago. Trust this. Accept the love and support where ever and however you find it. Trust your own Higher Self and your Angel to guide your footsteps in the direction that you said you wanted to go. The hardest thing to lose, next to your loved ones, is your own pre-conceptions and expectations of what your future life was going to be. Trust that you are now going in a new direction, to something that you may not have been able to pre-conceive of, even in your wildest dreams. Christ's human life showed us how vulnerable we are. Even He, the Son of God was vulnerable to temptation, loss and death. But Christ's Resurrection shows us that all that is destroyed on Earth can and will be restored (albeit in a different form) perfected and eternal.

      Try to let go of your fear. The worst has probably already happened. Rest now and with the help of other people, try to heal your body and your mind. Ask the Spiritual World to send you what you need to begin to heal your spirit. It will come - it will!

      Christine Natale
      September 4, 2005


      Leaf

      Lately I hung clinging tightly
      Against small gusts of fortune
      Torn off by time and summer's going
      I circle and dance like a leaf in the wind.

      I carry a seed, fearful courage -
      A wayward hope, full of tomorrow.
      Carry me wind, I have no branch -
      Seeking fertile ground, sheltering home.

      Alive with cold colors, Autumn's fire -
      I go like a leaf in the wind.
      Veins full of life and death -
           Swirling and burning-
               Blown by the breath of God.


      Christine Natale 1987


      To Walk on Water

      I want to learn, in time, to walk on water.
      My faith, constantly being put to the test
      Fails me most often, tossed on the waves
      Of our reasonable and unholy age.

      It is not true that we are never given
      More than our souls can grasp
      Or rise above. We often sink beneath
      The thunderous waves of unforeseen misfortunes.

      The broken masts wash ashore each day
      And wreckage is a common sight along
      These beaches; yet in the silence of grey
      Morning fog, I stalwartly lift my sail again.

      I cannot swim well, and fear the creatures
      Of the deep, unknown and hideous companions
      Who are with me always, even unto the end of time,
      And for whom I am responsible.

      White mountains on a farther shore are calling me.
      The day is clear but windy, cold and rough.
      I'll try again to reach the distant courses
      Where hope and faith fail not in winter's measures.

      For thought I sink and break upon the waters-
      Denied the saving angel's last minute solace;
      Life has not yet overturned for me the truth
      That someday we shall learn to walk on water.

      Christine Natale 1987


      Meditative Prayer Against Fear

      May the events that seek me
      Come unto me;
      May I receive them
      With a quiet mind
      Through the Father's ground of peace
      On which we walk.

      May the people who seek me
      Come unto me;
      May I receive them
      With an understanding heart
      Through the Christ's stream of love
      In which we live.

      May the spirits who seek me
      Come unto me;
      May I receive them
      With a clear soul
      Through the healing Spirit's Light
      By which we see.

      --Adam Bittleston, "Meditative Prayers for Today"

      For one who has died

      The Good Shepherd lead thee
      Where thou art transformed
      That thou mayest breathe
      The air of eternal being
      Where thou workest as soul
      For worlds to come
      The grace of the Spirit
      Unite us with thee

      by: Adam Bittleston

      These verses are taken from a little book entitled Meditative Prayers For Today, published by Floris Books. It contains verses for morning and evening, the days of the week, the months of the year and the Christian festivals. Also included are some meditations for special events such as this verse for the dead and a short commentary on the Lord's Prayer.


      May love of hearts reach out to love of souls

      May love of hearts reach out to love of souls
      May warmth of love ray out to Spirit-light
      Even so would we draw near to you
      Thinking with you Thoughts of Spirit
      Feeling in you the Love of Worlds
      Consciously at one with you
      Willing in silent being

      by: Rudolf Steiner

      The above meditation is taken from a book of verses by Rudolf Steiner. It is for all those wishing to strengthen their relationships with those who have passed through the gate of death. It may of course also be used it the singular. The translation is by George and Mary Adams, and the book is published by Rudolf Steiner Press, London

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