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3416Re: [americancomm] In need of some resources...

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  • Dale Cyphert
    Jan 4, 2010
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      I'd have to say there is not a great success rate in handing folks any
      kind of reading material to get them to change dysfunctional
      communication habits. Even motivated people need coached practice to
      change ingrained behavior, and I'm assuming your target is not, at this
      point, motivated to change.

      Dealing with Difficult People is a pretty good source of hints on how
      YOU might better manage the situation, but don't expect to shift this
      onto your colleague with some magic communication book. Chances are
      she's being rewarded for her behavior in a host of ways...some perhaps
      outside your purview....and you'll have to be creative in changing her
      context before you'll see any change in her behavior.

      Your last line suggest that you are a supervisor willing to set clear
      expectations of communication behavior, which I really admire. That is
      generally not even attempted by many managers. I think you'll find
      better success by tackling just one or two specific behaviors, though,
      rather than expecting her to read up on communication in general. There
      are just way too many factors to know why she might be such so clueless,
      and no matter what she reads, she is unlikely to see herself as needing
      to change without clear and specific guidelines.

      Here's a challenge for you: can you define, exactly, what you mean by
      "tact"? Chances are it's a responsiveness to contexts rather than any
      set of specific behaviors, which means you're really hoping to change
      her level of emotional awareness or her decision-making skills rather
      than any specific communication skills. You might want to narrow things
      down to just one or two specific behaviors to ask her to work on. (i.e.
      not making sexual references to students seems like pretty basic start
      in terms of any kind of sexual harassment policy!)

      dale

      Dale Cyphert, PhD
      Associate Professor
      Department of Management
      University of Northern Iowa
      1227 W. 27th Street
      Cedar Falls, IA 50614-1025
      319-273-6150
      dale.cyphert@...

      Wells, Rex wrote:
      >
      >
      > I like "Beyond Bullsh*t" by Samuel A. Culbert
      >
      > R. Chris Wells
      >
      >
      > -----Original Message-----
      > From: americancomm@yahoogroups.com on behalf of Andrea Webb
      > Sent: Mon 1/4/2010 10:33 AM
      > To: americancomm@yahoogroups.com
      > Subject: [americancomm] In need of some resources...
      >
      > Hi all,
      >
      > I am interested in resources for a school counselor who has no tact.
      > She makes inappropriate comments and cannot work well with others due to
      > a lack of professionalism. Her most recent comment was discussing
      > testing with high school students saying she would do it because the
      > boys would think she was cute. Completely inappropriate and even more
      > questionable!
      >
      > I am interested in journals or brochures regarding teambuilding, team
      > work, being a team player, appropriate communications in the workplace,
      > etc.
      >
      > Any ideas or leads would be greatly appreciated. With a negative
      > evaluation comes offering of literature on ways to improve...I have
      > texts she can read but I hate to hand her text books. Any professional
      > materials would be appreciated.
      >
      > Thank you!
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
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