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Re: Wanting to get pregnant

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  • SteveP
    Hello Lindsay. My situation is a little different than yours since I am male and didn t have to deal with the challenges of carrying the Baby. But I have
    Message 1 of 5 , Mar 18, 2010
      Hello Lindsay. My situation is a little different than yours since I am male and didn't have to deal with the challenges of carrying the Baby. But I have 4 wonderful children, aged 24 to 14 .. and my life, and my marriage, would have been quite diminished if I hadn't had them. So I encourage you and your husband to look at your lives, and consider carefully if parenthood is right for you.. and then to GO for it.

      Ah.. but how best to go for it?
      - Most AMC is not considered genetic, and certainly my children do not have it. If the advice of your Doctors is that your AMC is genetic then you will have to weigh alternative means of becoming parents against the risk of having a child with a severe case of AMC. Tough choice for you to make.. and no 'right' answers for sure, so I hope they do NOT think yours is genetic.
      - How ready is your body to carry a child? I watched my wife do it 4 times, and it is hard work for a healthy able bodied person. If your AMC effects your body in such a way as to put your life at risk then you might also want to consider alternative means of becoming a parent. Only you and your medical advisors can evaluate this. These forums are full of women discussing their own pregnancies as mothers with AMC.. I would look at their comments to help guide you in your choice.
      - Can you, as a person with AMC be a good parent? Most certainly YES. You will have many different parenting challenges in dealing with your disability.. but so does everyone else. Your physical disabilities are only one of many sources of parenting challenges.. and probably not your worst ones! Our kids love us despite our difficulties.. and I love loving them. But don't kid yourself.. there will be challenges.
      >> I can't move fast. So my wife and I had to teach our kids
      to STOP when a parent said STOP. No 'cute' running away in
      this family. I had to discipline them early and often in
      what ever means was available to me to train them in this
      at a very young age. By the time my kids were 12 months old
      it would have already been too late .. because they could
      out run me by 12 months!!
      >> Your needs may be different than mine.. but I encourage you
      to do your parenting intentionally, and in partnership with
      your spouse. Everyone should do this.. but the need is
      much more obviously apparent in our case. My wife and I
      (in the example above) made stopping mandatory, no matter
      which parent said stop. I didn't want my kids to have one
      set of rules from Dad and a different set from Mom. And,
      frankly, working together as parents, discussing each
      child and their needs and how you are going to help them
      grow and mature is one of the best parts of parenting, and
      can really strengthen your marriage if you do it. It will
      also make you much better parents than people who are not
      working together on this effort.
      >> You and your spouse may have to make some trade offs due to
      your disabilities, so you will have to discuss them, and
      "just deal" with them as needed. My wife ran holding on
      to the bicycle seat for each of the kids.. as I yelled
      encouragement. Man.. I wanted her job!.. but it was not to
      be, so it was important to be gracious and adapt together,
      important for us together, and for the kids, and for my-
      self individually. You can't waste time or energy wishing
      for what you don't have. And you DO have to be creative in
      what you DO do, in order to get to the best blessings any
      situation has to offer.
      >> Creative. Don't let the 'traditional' way of doing anything
      stop you from finding ways to enable you to do as much as
      you can. I walk poorly, and I walk with canes.. but I
      have really big hands. So from their very youngest days I
      carried my kids on one arm, laying down along my forearm with
      their legs hanging of on either side. Most parents never
      think to do it that way.. but it was the only way which
      worked for me.. and my kids loved it. They didn't know it
      was odd. So don't let your disability keep you from
      enjoying the many blessings and gifts that are ours in
      parenting. It is wonderful

      I guess my last comment is mostly aimed at myself, and in truth should be said to every able bodied parent. As I get older and lazier .. it is easy to let my wife bare the brunt of the heavy lifting as a parent. Don't let your disabilities (whatever they are) put an un-fair burden on your spouse. Keep looking for all the ways you can share the load and do the job together.


      I go on too long. But I hope you can sense my joy in parenting. Not that we are perfect at it. But it has been God's best gift to my spouse and I .. and in the end my AMC is the SMALLEST factor which impacts how good a parent I am.. and I am sure in your case, no matter how significant your AMC is. it will be the least factor impacting your parenting as well.

      Make 'em if you can.. Adopt them if you must, but if you have the desire and the willingness to parent, then don't let AMC hold you back. And LOVE those babies with all your heart.


      With prayer and enthusiasm for you. My best wishes for your decision.. ..

      Steve P





      --- In amc_adults@yahoogroups.com, "lgustafson712" <lgustafson712@...> wrote:
      >
      > Hello,
      >
      > My name is Lindsay, I am 26 years old. I have AMC. I have a very petite frame, I am 4'7 and only weigh 76 lbs! My husband and I have been talking about getting pregnant next year...hopefully the economy will turn around! I am very nervous about the idea even though we both want children badly. This is something that would be completely unknown to everyone we know. I really would like to talk to everyone or anyone who has AMC and had children or someone who has any advice. Please help me become less nervous!
      >
      > Thanks!
      > Lindsay
      >
    • sweetbrookie84
      Hello lindsay my name is Brooke, I m 25 I m expecting my first baby in October. So far i haven t had ne problems other then normal pregnancy symptoms like
      Message 2 of 5 , Apr 4, 2010
        Hello lindsay my name is Brooke, I'm 25 I'm expecting my first baby in October. So far i haven't had ne problems other then normal pregnancy symptoms like sickness (sooo not fun) I'm super excited if you have ne questions please feel free or you can email me as well good luck!

        --- In amc_adults@yahoogroups.com, "lgustafson712" <lgustafson712@...> wrote:
        >
        > Hello,
        >
        > My name is Lindsay, I am 26 years old. I have AMC. I have a very petite frame, I am 4'7 and only weigh 76 lbs! My husband and I have been talking about getting pregnant next year...hopefully the economy will turn around! I am very nervous about the idea even though we both want children badly. This is something that would be completely unknown to everyone we know. I really would like to talk to everyone or anyone who has AMC and had children or someone who has any advice. Please help me become less nervous!
        >
        > Thanks!
        > Lindsay
        >
      • Lindsay Gustafson
        Hello! Well first off, congrats on the baby! :)  So where is it that you live?  I am in MN a little north of Minneapolis.  I was wondering how involved you
        Message 3 of 5 , Apr 5, 2010
          Hello!

          Well first off, congrats on the baby! :)  So where is it that you live?  I am in MN a little north of Minneapolis.  I was wondering how involved you are w/AMC ?  All four of my limbs are affected but I can walk and do just about anything.   I am not going to ask 20 questions but would love to keep in touch!

          Lindsay




          ________________________________
          From: sweetbrookie84 <sweetbrookie84@...>
          To: amc_adults@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Sun, April 4, 2010 5:22:38 AM
          Subject: [Adults AMC] Re: Wanting to get pregnant

           


          Hello lindsay my name is Brooke, I'm 25 I'm expecting my first baby in October. So far i haven't had ne problems other then normal pregnancy symptoms like sickness (sooo not fun) I'm super excited if you have ne questions please feel free or you can email me as well good luck!

          --- In amc_adults@yahoogro ups.com, "lgustafson712" <lgustafson712@ ...> wrote:
          >
          > Hello,
          >
          > My name is Lindsay, I am 26 years old. I have AMC. I have a very petite frame, I am 4'7 and only weigh 76 lbs! My husband and I have been talking about getting pregnant next year...hopefully the economy will turn around! I am very nervous about the idea even though we both want children badly. This is something that would be completely unknown to everyone we know. I really would like to talk to everyone or anyone who has AMC and had children or someone who has any advice. Please help me become less nervous!
          >
          > Thanks!
          > Lindsay
          >







          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • sweetbrookie84
          thanks! I live in Ky. I cant bend my legs or arms but seemed to manage do everything on my own i can walk. you can ask ne thing you like!
          Message 4 of 5 , Apr 7, 2010
            thanks! I live in Ky. I cant bend my legs or arms but seemed to manage do everything on my own i can walk. you can ask ne thing you like!
            --- In amc_adults@yahoogroups.com, Lindsay Gustafson <lgustafson712@...> wrote:
            >
            > Hello!
            >
            > Well first off, congrats on the baby! :)  So where is it that you live?  I am in MN a little north of Minneapolis.  I was wondering how involved you are w/AMC ?  All four of my limbs are affected but I can walk and do just about anything.   I am not going to ask 20 questions but would love to keep in touch!
            >
            > Lindsay
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > ________________________________
            > From: sweetbrookie84 <sweetbrookie84@...>
            > To: amc_adults@yahoogroups.com
            > Sent: Sun, April 4, 2010 5:22:38 AM
            > Subject: [Adults AMC] Re: Wanting to get pregnant
            >
            >  
            >
            >
            > Hello lindsay my name is Brooke, I'm 25 I'm expecting my first baby in October. So far i haven't had ne problems other then normal pregnancy symptoms like sickness (sooo not fun) I'm super excited if you have ne questions please feel free or you can email me as well good luck!
            >
            > --- In amc_adults@yahoogro ups.com, "lgustafson712" <lgustafson712@ ...> wrote:
            > >
            > > Hello,
            > >
            > > My name is Lindsay, I am 26 years old. I have AMC. I have a very petite frame, I am 4'7 and only weigh 76 lbs! My husband and I have been talking about getting pregnant next year...hopefully the economy will turn around! I am very nervous about the idea even though we both want children badly. This is something that would be completely unknown to everyone we know. I really would like to talk to everyone or anyone who has AMC and had children or someone who has any advice. Please help me become less nervous!
            > >
            > > Thanks!
            > > Lindsay
            > >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            >
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