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3602Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! brother with amc

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  • Deanna
    Apr 29, 2012
    • 0 Attachment
      --- In amc_adults@yahoogroups.com, "Patty Clarke" <pelclarke@...> wrote:
      >
      > Oh Dear!! Well at age 50, it is pretty hard to suddenly change behavior and
      > behavior that others have treated him. So he now needs some "tough ,love"
      > from family and friends who are close to him to set limits like, unless you
      > get some counselling to deal with your depression, lack of motivation etc
      > then we won't give you money, do things for you we know you can do...get him
      > some resources then leave it to him to follow through and keep on him to
      > follow through...This sounds easier than what it is going to be but you
      > don't want to control his decision making but really in fact it sounds like
      > that has been happening in a matter of speaking.
      >
      >
      >
      > If he is depressed then maybe he needs to go to a family doctor to talk
      > about meds as well as counselling, both should happen at the same time. I
      > feel for him and your family and it is a tough place to be in his life to
      > start the problem solving stuff at his age but really it is not too late as
      > long as there is some awareness there, and he has to want to make some
      > changes....again this is the e
      >
      > tough part!!
      >
      >
      >
      > I probably didn't help much and I am sure you and your family realize this
      > but he needs to know how you all feel and that you want him to get some
      > help...
      >
      >
      >
      > Keep us posted!!
      >
      >
      >
      > Hang in there........does he know of other people his age with any type of
      > disability? Is he connected with any advocate organizations that support
      > people with disabilities? Hopefully there are some in his area, not
      > necessarily AMC organizations cause they are very limited but disability in
      > general will be a place to start....
      >
      >
      >
      > Patty. (PS I am 52 with AMC and I work in the field of recreation supporting
      > people with disabilities for the past 27 years..)
      >
      >
      >
      > From: amc_adults@yahoogroups.com [mailto:amc_adults@yahoogroups.com] On
      > Behalf Of Deanna
      > Sent: April-28-12 4:47 PM
      > To: amc_adults@yahoogroups.com
      > Subject: [Adults AMC] PLEASE HELP!!!! brother with amc
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > My brother will be turning 50 very soon. he has a problem with not wanting
      > to do things his self.he wants people to do EVERYTHING for him, he wants
      > sympathy all the time,he has girl problems like for example he falls in love
      > in 24 hrs or less,sometimes moves them in his apt then these ladies will use
      > him and leave him, then he gets depressed more and more.he ask family and
      > friends for money all the time and often times lies to them to get it.then
      > he wont call you back until he needs more money.he wants to live
      > independently but he acts like a child.he has people that visit him, but
      > again they use him for money and pain meds....there is so much more to
      > say...we need advice on what should be done? in my opinion too many people
      > have done things for him in his life.
      >
      > thanks for writing back .........but getting him to help his self is next to impossible.i spent an entire week trying to get him the right housing, support groups,food,transportation,ect...im on the phone, the computer at the same time......and what does he do? turns the tv on....it really upsets me....i strongly believe in tough love, but others do not....he needed to go to the foodstamp office, so i took him..........OMG ITS NEXT TO HIS APARTMENT!!!! im all for tough love believe me....but i cant get everyone on the same page.if family dont feel sorry for him, then his neighbors do...more advice?
      >
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      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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