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[albanach] Cute Scottish Joke

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  • Diana Cosby
    I normally don t post these, but this one made me chuckle. It s from The Rampant Scotland Newsletter at: http://www.RampantScotland.com/letter.htm This story
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 4, 2000
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      I normally don't post these, but this one made me chuckle. It's from
      The Rampant Scotland Newsletter at:
      http://www.RampantScotland.com/letter.htm


      This story has been around for a while, but is none the worse for that!

      Edward Longshanks (Edward 1 of England) comes to Scotland to conquer
      the Scots. He brings 4000 men with him. As he reaches the battlefield
      suddenly on the crest of a hill there appears a solitary figure, a
      little short ginger-headed guy in a kilt. "Hammer of the Scots?" yells
      the wee Scottish guy on the hill. "Come up here, ya English scum, I'll
      give ye hammer!"
      Edward turns to his commander and says: "Take 20 men and deal
      with that Scottish upstart!" The commander sends 20 men over the hill to
      deal with the Scot.
      Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears
      again. "Ye English scum!" he yells. "Come on the rest of ye!! Come on,
      I'll have ye!!"
      Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his commander, "Take
      100 men and kill that little guttersnipe." The commander sends 100 men
      over the top of the hill to do the job.
      Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill
      again, his hair all sticking up, his shirt a bit torn. "Ye English
      SCUM!" he yells. "I'm just warming up. Come and get me!!"
      Edward loses patience. "Commander, take 400 men on horseback and
      personally WIPE HIM OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" he yells. The commander
      gulps, but leads 400 men on horseback over the crest of the hill.
      Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all
      torn, his face is covered with blood and Irn Bru, and he yells, "Is that
      the best ye can do???? You're bloody WIMMEN!!! Come on, come and have a
      go ya bunch of Jessies!!!"
      Edward turns to his second in command. "Take 1000 men over that hill
      and don't come back till you've killed him!" he commands. The second in
      command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate.
      Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back at the top of
      the hill. He's covered with blood and his clothes are all torn. "Your
      Majesty!" he yells. "It's a trap!!! There's two of them!!!"
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