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Groans for this day....smile

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  • Alice
    ... I always do my exercises regularly in the morning. Immediately after waking I sternly say to myself, Ready, now. Up. Down. Up. Down. And after two
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 1 7:29 AM
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      I always do my exercises regularly in the morning. Immediately after waking I sternly say to myself, "Ready, now. Up. Down. Up. Down." And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, "Okay, now try the other eyelid.

      --------

      I once dialed a wrong number by mistake and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

      --------

      Cow Jokes (Groan alert!)

      - From a forgetful cow you'd get Milk of Amnesia.
      - When the bull lays down in the field, we call that bull-dozin'.
      - What's the favorite key for cows to sing in? Beef-flat.
      - I knew a farmer with a sick cow. The vet said it was the worst case of hay fever he'd ever seen.
      - Yesterday I saw a cow walking backward. It went, "Oom."
      - I heard about this cow who could actually drive a car. Had to quit after getting a ticket, though. - It was a moo-ving violation.
      - I read about a scientist who crossed a cow with a duck because he was in a mood for milk and quackers.
    • divalee11
      I love these, especially the second one....lol Thank you for the smiles Divalee Keep a song in your heart
      Message 2 of 3 , Jul 1 11:53 AM
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        I love these, especially the second one....lol
        Thank you for the smiles
        Divalee
        Keep a song in your heart


        --- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, "Alice" <teddybear1937@...> wrote:
        >
        > --------
        >
        > I always do my exercises regularly in the morning. Immediately after waking I sternly say to myself, "Ready, now. Up. Down. Up. Down." And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, "Okay, now try the other eyelid.
        >
        > --------
        >
        > I once dialed a wrong number by mistake and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
        >
        > --------
        >
        > Cow Jokes (Groan alert!)
        >
        > - From a forgetful cow you'd get Milk of Amnesia.
        > - When the bull lays down in the field, we call that bull-dozin'.
        > - What's the favorite key for cows to sing in? Beef-flat.
        > - I knew a farmer with a sick cow. The vet said it was the worst case of hay fever he'd ever seen.
        > - Yesterday I saw a cow walking backward. It went, "Oom."
        > - I heard about this cow who could actually drive a car. Had to quit after getting a ticket, though. - It was a moo-ving violation.
        > - I read about a scientist who crossed a cow with a duck because he was in a mood for milk and quackers.
        >
      • Alice
        Thanks! Here are some funnies for today. A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to
        Message 3 of 3 , Jul 2 5:25 AM
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          Thanks! Here are some funnies for today.

          A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification."
          He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."
          "How come?" asked the woman.
          "Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.

          -------

          A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.
          The note read: "Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."
          Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing:
          "Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."

          -------

          Ever notice how weekends are like rainbows? They always look great from a distance, but seem to disappear whenever you get up close.

          --- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, "divalee11" <divalee@...> wrote:
          >
          > I love these, especially the second one....lol
          > Thank you for the smiles
          > Divalee
          > Keep a song in your heart
          >
          >
          > --- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, "Alice" <teddybear1937@> wrote:
          > >
          > > --------
          > >
          > > I always do my exercises regularly in the morning. Immediately after waking I sternly say to myself, "Ready, now. Up. Down. Up. Down." And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, "Okay, now try the other eyelid.
          > >
          > > --------
          > >
          > > I once dialed a wrong number by mistake and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
          > >
          > > --------
          > >
          > > Cow Jokes (Groan alert!)
          > >
          > > - From a forgetful cow you'd get Milk of Amnesia.
          > > - When the bull lays down in the field, we call that bull-dozin'.
          > > - What's the favorite key for cows to sing in? Beef-flat.
          > > - I knew a farmer with a sick cow. The vet said it was the worst case of hay fever he'd ever seen.
          > > - Yesterday I saw a cow walking backward. It went, "Oom."
          > > - I heard about this cow who could actually drive a car. Had to quit after getting a ticket, though. - It was a moo-ving violation.
          > > - I read about a scientist who crossed a cow with a duck because he was in a mood for milk and quackers.
          > >
          >
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