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16878Re: Kannazuki no Miko 9 (blends into spoilers for 10, so be careful)

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  • Akra
    Dec 5, 2004
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      I guess I'll preclude my thoughts by saying I think
      Himeko needs therapy. SERIOUS therapy. And that Gainex
      may not know endings, but they DO know how to create
      severely mentally f'd up characters. We'll take the
      rest from those two assumptions.

      Oh, and I got my degree in psychology. Not that it
      means I'm right, but just that it's a strong interest
      of mine to over-analyze things constantly. ^_~ And I'm
      long-winded, so my apologies. ^^;

      > > > The person I understand least is, of course,
      > Himeko. She isn;t
      > >nearly angry
      > > > and bewildered enough. I'm aware that this is
      > only a crap-tastic
      > >anime, but
      > > > still. She recovered awfully fast - and her
      > obsession with Chikane
      > >hasn't
      > > > even changed a teeny weeny bit. I'm a bit leery
      > of that.
      > > >
      > > >
      > >
      > >I have several theories:
      > >
      > >1) She may already have an idea what's going on
      > subconsciously.
      >
      > I'd agree with that. She clearly believes that,
      > regardless of the reason,
      > Chikane *had* a reason, and she wants to know what
      > it is, so she can
      > "understand Chikane's feelings."

      I definitely buy into this. From her previous
      behavior, it's pretty obvious that Chikane's a person
      she trusts completely. It may not be the only person,
      but she IS one of those people. Combine that with her
      being in love with her (love being something I think
      goes hand in hand with complete trust), and that's a
      dangerous blow to Himeko's sensibility.

      It's a hard thing to accept that a person you trusted
      completely was a poor choice for it, especially if
      your self-esteem is THAT low, so I think that's partly
      why Himeko's heart was still so open to Chikane after
      the rape. She WANTS to believe there's a greater
      reason there, because she's still clinging to that
      complete trust. She doesn't want to let it go for the
      fear of the change that would bring.

      And as far as Himeko not really expressing thoughts
      and feelings...I tend to think she's an INFJ on the
      MBTI. (One of these days I want to make a MBTI
      character analysis for this series, because despite
      crap-tastic attributes, it's actually a serious
      contender for one of my all-time favorite animes) This
      would mean that while she expresses emotions
      externally, she thinks internally. Meaning she's far
      more likely to cry and smile and show her feelings to
      the world in general than her thoughts. Granted she's
      guarded with the world in general due to past
      experience, but I see her thought /processes/ as being
      more closely guarded then her reactions (as opposed to
      Chikane, who is definitely an internal feeler--I think
      a INFP?)

      Back to post-rape. She sat there, and stared off into
      nothing, either dry-eyed or tears streaming down her
      face. I believe the natural feelings of "why???" and
      anger and betrayal and bitterness and thinking about
      what happened were all behind that stare. All
      internal, behind the mask of crying. Her low
      self-esteem and past explains why she didn't show
      anger and other "troublesome" emotions, because she
      probably thinks she needs to go through life as
      perfect a girl as possible, and perfect girls just
      don't SHOW those emotions, right? I think that's true
      in both Eastern and Western cultures...

      > >2) She has low self esteem. Rather than trying to
      > find the answer she
      > >blames herself.
      >
      > Mmm, there's something to be said for this. The old
      > Himeko, yes, definitely.
      > But I think Himeko's talk with Mako-chan changed
      > her. You'd have to be
      > exceptioanlly stupid and self-absorbed to have three
      > completely different
      > people tell you that they'd die for you and still
      > not see your own worth.

      Or exceptionally traumatized, which I see Himeko as
      being. A single talk with a friend just won't change
      someone that easily, sadly. It takes a lot of time to
      counter a lifetime of being told directly and
      indirectly that you're worthless. How many times have
      we heard the phrase "watashi no sei de" or a variant
      from Himeko's mouth in the series? If you think you're
      a worthless waste of space, you think you're bad. And
      if you think you're bad, you think everything around
      you that's bad is caused by you, because the only
      source of "bad" you can see is yourself.

      Everyone looks for a reason why they're told they're
      bad, and if you're told that often enough such that
      you internalize that thinking, you're going to
      reinforce that in yourself. Because to lose that
      perception means to lose yourself. Objectively, it's
      messed up to be sure...but it's true.


      Now, how this all works into 10, from what I saw (I
      have a limited understanding of Japanese, so this is
      all muddled interpretation from seeing the ep. and my
      crap-tastic translation "skills" ^^;)

      SPOILER





      SPOILER





      SPOILER




      Okay, so we see Himeko embracing into her life Chikane
      when she gets back. She's SO relieved to have her
      Chikane-chan back that she even wants to sleep in the
      same bed as Chikane, something she never did before
      the rape. This seems counter-intuitive on the surface,
      but it has reasons.

      A) She might be trying to prove to herself that
      Chikane wouldn't do that to her again, if she's acting
      like herself as Chikane was doing so before that
      point. I wouldn't doubt that this is a component of
      that choice.

      B) But deeper into Himeko's psyche, I think the
      reasons are darker. It's pretty obvious through the
      series that Himeko's a masochist--in life, in
      thoughts, in feelings. Why would the bedroom be a
      place that's a different reaction from her?

      Himeko's only really gotten suffering for much of her
      life, so she learned to love that suffering on some
      level in order to survive. So when Chikane raped her,
      she hated it on a surface level (as well she should--I
      don't meant to say AT ALL that the rape itself was
      good for Chikane to do. Please understand that.) But I
      can see that, even if she hated it on a surface level
      and even if she can't feel aroused yet from the
      experience, she liked it deep inside. Because it was
      the level of painful experience she'd experienced all
      her life and had learned to love, and the person she
      loves most (we think) gave it to her finally. Why do
      you think Himeko didn't respond to Chikane when she
      was being nice? Or simply didn't GET it? Because she
      doesn't associate people being nice to her as being a
      positive thing, or even a desirable thing to herself.
      As much as my yuri-lovin' side wants to think Himeko
      cried at Souma's kiss because her soul felt how WRONG
      it was, I think she really cried because it wasn't
      what she REALLY wants from her mate--she just isn't
      capable of taking happiness into herself, and just
      knows how to appreciate and deal with someone causing
      her pain. She wants to be mistreated, as her current
      mental state is, because it affirms love from the
      person.

      Which is why I think Himeko wanted to be in Chikane's
      bed so much. Even if she didn't let herself feel
      physically aroused, she was MENTALLY aroused. Or maybe
      even physically aroused, but I'll leave that to the
      imagination. I don't have the stomach to write that
      kind of fanfic, so I'd rather not think of it. >_>;;;

      ^^;;; I might as well just write essays on Himeko and
      Chikane, at this rate. But they're my favorite anime
      couple now, followed only by Tsuzuki and Hisoka from
      Yami no Matsuei. ^_~ Notice a trend here?

      Akra

      =====
      No one is an island, but some of us are peninsulas




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