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To help the guys understand.

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  • a nelson
    Hi, I don t normally send these thing but this is too funny and sometimes very true. Enjoy **** When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 20, 2010
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      Hi,

      I don't normally send these thing but this is too funny and sometimes very true.

      Enjoy


      ****

      When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women,so you smile politely and take your place.*
      *Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.* *
      Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.*
      *You get in to find the door won't latch..** It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!*
      *The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy,** but empty**.*
      *You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one,**but there isn't** - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the** FLOOR!**), yank down your pants, and assume** " The Stance."*
      *In this position your aging, toneless**(God I should have gone to the gym!!!)**thigh muscles begin to shake..*
      *You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold** "The Stance".*
      *To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you
      discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying,** "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat,
      you would have** ** KNOWN **there was no toilet paper!"** Your thighs shake more..*
      *You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday -the one that's still in your purse.** (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That will have to do.** You crumple it in the** puffiest**way possible. It's still** **smaller **than your thumbnail.*
      *Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.*
      *The door hits your purse,** which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest**,** and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.*
      *"Occupied!" ** you scream,** as you reach for the door, dropping your precious,**tiny* *, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the** **TOILET SEAT**.*
      *It is wet of course.*
      *You bolt up, knowing all too well that**it's too late**. Your** bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat **because** YOU** never laid down toilet paper** - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.* *
      * *You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because,
      you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because,
      frankly,** dear**,** "You just * *don't** **KNOW**what kind of diseases you
      could get".** **
      * *By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.* *
      * *The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too* *
      * *At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.* *
      * *You're e-x-h-a-u-s- t-e-d.* *
      * *You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.** **
      * *
      You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors,.....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.* *
      * *You are no longer able to smile politely to them.* *
      * *A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.** (Where was that when you** **NEEDED it??)** You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly,** "Here, you just might need this"..* *
      * *As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom.* *
      * *Annoyed, he asks,** "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"** ............ ......* *
      * *This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public
      restrooms** (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).* * It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs.** It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door!**
      **
      Send this to all women that understand what bonding in the bathroom is all about!** **
      * *A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...** **
      Hard to Find...
      Supportive.. ..*
      *Comfortable* * **...* *
      * *Always Lifts You Up...* *
      * *Never Lets You Down, or Leaves You Hanging,** **
      And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!** **
      * *Share with anyone who needs a good laugh!*
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