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Appeal of Cult vs what you got, and some reFocus workshops

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  • noneckchains
    Welcome to Vol. 14, No. 1 January - March 2013 edition of the reFOCUS Forum: An Internet Newsletter for Recovery reFOCUS is a network of referral and support
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 26 9:53 PM
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      Welcome to Vol. 14, No. 1 January - March 2013 edition of the

      reFOCUS Forum: An Internet Newsletter for Recovery



      reFOCUS is a network of referral and support for former members of closed, high demand groups, relationships or cults.

      reFOCUS is dedicated to the recovery of former members…please visit our web site at http://www.refocus.org We are a tax-exempt not-for-profit corporation - all contributions to reFOCUS are 100% tax deductible. Because reFOCUS is dedicated to recovery, we are looking for suggestions and input from you: are there articles or topics you want to see covered? Are there questions you need answered? Email us at refocuscarol@.att.net



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      Upcoming Events



      Surviving and Moving On After a High Demand Group Experience

      Workshop for Second-Generation Former Members

      When: Friday 3:00 p.m. April 26 to Sunday 2:00 p.m. April 28, 2013

      Where: Workshop Location: Guest House Retreat & Conference Center, Chester, CT (860) 322-5770



      Learn more: http://icsahome.com/pdf/fax_mail_sga.pdf



      After the Cult Recovery Workshop for Former Group Members

      Recovery Workshop for Former Members

      When: Friday 3:00 p.m., July 27 to Sunday 3:00 p.m., July 29, 2012

      Where: Franciscan Retreat/Conference Center, Colorado Springs, Colorado

      Learn more or to register: http://icsahome.com/pdf/fax_mail_ex.pdf



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      Featured Article



      The appeal of cult recruitment vs. what you actually get



      Carol Giambalvo



      A former member attending the Colorado Workshop had an interesting observation at a recovery workshop. We were in a session dealing with grief and anger. And we were exploring the feelings we dealt with in the grieving process … grieving the losses we suffered upon leaving a group. After we completed the list, he drew our attention to the fact that we had also made a list of what the groups offered us at time of recruitment that appealed to us. Below are the lists. You may want to make your own personal list to see what ideals and aspirations you believed could be achieved by being part of what looked like a special group offering a purpose higher than ourselves. And compare it to the losses you suffered…(what you got).



      What did the group offer you?


      What feelings were you dealing with when you left the group?

      Transformation
      Loss of certainty

      A simple life
      Devastated

      A "calling"
      Sadness

      Salvation
      Guilt

      The Truth
      Shame

      Spiritual growth
      Confusion

      Safety
      Embarrassment

      Enlightenment
      Inability to make decisions

      Family
      Loss of family

      A sense of belonging
      Anomie

      Power
      Anxiety

      Saving people
      Frustration

      Changing the world
      Feeling overwhelmed

      Making a difference
      Loss of friends

      A purpose higher than myself
      Loss of innocence

      Self-improvement
      Disbelief

      Exclusivity
      Loss of credibility

      End to karma
      Existential crisis

      Immortality
      Feeling disconnected

      Perfection
      Loss of purpose

      Deep relationship with God
      Loss of community

      Heaven on earth
      Demeaned

      Healing
      Anger at being deceived

      Survival
      Inadequate

      Change the consciousness of the world
      Fearful

      Community
      Rage




      Rejected




      Stunted




      Isolation and loneliness




      Damaged




      Disillusionment



      It's important that we recognize the losses we suffered and grieve for them so that, eventually, we can move toward making positive changes, re-engage our critical thinking skills and move toward our OWN goals. Grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can strengthen and enrich life.



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      Comments, questions, and suggestions? email us at refocuscarol@...

      reFOCUS, Flagler Beach, FL 32136



      Web site: http://www.refocus.org
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