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Misplaced Deity sought by Christens...(very funny)

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  • Karen
    So, I m standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 2, 2004
      So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well
      meaning,
      bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic!
      The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward...She
      takes my
      arm and with trembling voices she asks...."Have you found Jesus?"
      Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus
      stop. Now
      normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious
      paperwork
      that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But
      unfortunately for
      her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 20 minutes. So
      by now
      I'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I
      mean if
      its not Christians it is the Jehovah's Witnesses. Can a simple
      Druid get no
      peace?
      So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, "You
      people lost
      him, again??"
      The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping
      for and
      she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch
      into her
      sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the concept
      that *I*
      might not be into being converted.
      I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my
      own...
      "What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you've
      lost
      Him!" I hit her with a glare of accusation. "I mean really..." I
      take a
      measured breath. "How do you expect to have anyone follow a deity
      that you
      can't even find!"
      The poor woman looks stunned. This isn't going so good. Panicked
      she looks
      desperately to the car... Surely one of the men can help....
      Undaunted I
      press on... "Maybe the problem is with you people... I mean Muslims
      never
      seem to lose there deity. Come to think of it neither do Jews, or
      Pagans of
      any kind."
      I look at the man getting out of the car. He's all smiles. "I
      realize you
      people used to burn people like me at the stake... What was that
      about deity
      even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever woke up
      panicked that
      I couldn't find my Goddess or God. They are always right where they
      should
      be... In the fire of my candle, in the air that I breath, in the
      earth that
      I stand on, in the water of my spring. I never feel abandoned by my
      deity(ies)."
      "Of course, you Christians aren't much fun..." I continue. By now
      they are
      all out of the car. Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for words. "Of
      course," I offer trying to give them some defense for losing Jesus.
      "He
      could have left due to religious differences. If I remember
      correctly He was
      Jewish. So if you are really so eager to find him..." I smile
      gently to
      soften the blow. "Check the nearest synagogue. He's probably in
      there. Also
      you folks should try and remember that this is America... Where
      freedom of
      religion means ALL religions."
      Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at
      the bus
      stop... No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven't found Jesus,
      but I
      haven't lost him either :)
      Someone sent this to you because they believe no one can have to
      much Deity.
      It is a blessing in disguise. You can keep it to your self or pass
      it on.
      Oh, and if you've found Jesus, please get his face on the evening
      news
      A.S.A.P so the Christians can stop looking for him.
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