- How do you feel about Oocyte donation? I considering it as a one-
time source of income. I guess my rational is that a woman who
would go so far is going to choose someone whether or not I
participate. Is my logic horribly flawed?
- --- In Why_breed@yahoogroups.com, "kittydan3" <Kittydan2@a...> wrote:
> How do you feel about Oocyte donation? I considering it as a one-Your logic isn't flawed, in my opinion. Women need eggs and you have
> time source of income. I guess my rational is that a woman who
> would go so far is going to choose someone whether or not I
> participate. Is my logic horribly flawed?
eggs to spare - sounds like a great arrangement. But have you
considered how you would feel if you try to donate and are REJECTED?
You might be surprised how many things can disqualify potential egg
donors. I sure was. When I was rejected, it hit me that there was
flawed logic in using these "rejected" eggs that no one else would
use to make a baby of my own. Because I was rejected as a donor,
I've chosen to remain genetically childless, a choice I had no idea I
would be making when I first set out to donate eggs. I do consider
myself lucky to have had my eggs professionally "evaluated" prior to
procreating myself. This way, I get to avoid the potential problems
my genetic stock has to offer the world, and all the guilt that would
accompany that. I don't think enough women give thought to how they
would feel after being rejected before they try to donate, and so I'd
like to encourage you to do so. You may not come to the same
conclusions I have about being rejected, but its probably in your
best interest to be emotionally and intellectually prepared.
Best of luck to you!
- Jen, you wrote:
>. . . my rational is that a woman who would go so far is going to choose someone whether or not I participate. Is my logic horribly flawed?<I think that depends on whether or not you think it's alright for people to create more humans when so many aren't being cared for. Couples who decide that parenthood is what they want to dedicate the next 20 or so years of their lives to, then have a choice of caring for an existing child in need of a home, or creating a new one.
It's similar to cat and dog breeding. (If you'll bear with me as I make this analogy. I know humans and companion animals have important differences). Millions of dogs and cats are put to sleep because there are no homes for them. When someone breeds their cat or dog, each kitten or puppy that goes to a home means one more which will be killed due to the lack of a home. A litter of six means six will die, even if it's not that same six.
With homeless children, they aren't euthanized, they're institutionalized and bounced around foster homes. With luck, they'll stay at one home long enough to become an adult.
So, if you think this is okay, then go ahead. If you don't think so, then the excuse that someone else will do it is fallacious. Someone will sell drugs to kids, too, but I'm sure we don't want to be the ones doing it.
Piper, that's great advice. I've never read that anywhere, and it's very important to consider. Men should also think about rejection before attempting to sell sperm. Good for you, deciding not to take a chance. This doesn't rule out parenthood for you, I guess you know.
As for the reasons people's eggs and sperm are rejected, I'm not sure they're always for valid biological reasons. One sperm bank offered (offers?) sperm from nobel lauretes. (my spellcheck isn't working) Winning that prize is partially political and doesn't indicate a lack of genetic defects.
I've read that athletic, caucasion women in college with high GPAs have eggs with the highest demand. They may also go through genetic screening, but their desireablity reflects market demand as much as biological fitness.
In some ways this could be considered better than just taking a chance with potluck sperm and egg at home. However, just as breeders of purebred cats and dogs guarentee that others won't have homes, each one created is one more without a home. Maybe euthanasia would be more humane if we persist in this vain.
- --- In Why_breed@yahoogroups.com, "Les Knight" <les@v...> wrote:
> Les, you wrote:Thanks Les! I appreciate your support. Its probably not surprising to
> Piper, that's great advice. I've never read that anywhere, and it's
> very important to consider... Good for you, deciding not to take a
> chance. This doesn't rule out parenthood for you, I guess you know.
hear that I don't get much support when it comes to this subject -
that was one of the main reasons I joined this group! I totally dug
that you IMMEDIATELY recognized I still have parenting potential, and
that there is a distinction between practical and biological (or
Since deciding to not biologically parent, I've researched what it
takes to practically parent a child in need. Along the way, I've
learned some sad statistics about the state of foster and adoptive
care services in America. I won't expound, as I'm sure you all are
aware of the crisis, but simply touch upon how this relates to my
point of view about all of this. With SO MANY children in need of
families to love, shelter, and nurture them, WHY BREED? Why make
more when there are so many children ALREADY ALIVE that need what few
adults are offering?
I'm so intregued by the motivation of prospective biologic parents
that I've recently been grilling them about the logic of creating
another human being while ignoring one already in need. Ugly as the
conversations may get, I find that their answers boil down to one
common denominator: narcissism. And narcissism is something I'm not
real familiar with. Haha.
Personally, I'm way to apt to fear the demons I might pass on than
revel in a rebirth of self. I don't want to see another human being
with my genetic traits, good or bad. And I really don't get why most
people are so anxious to do so!
When the "Why Breed?" question arises, people are so quick to say
that genetic parenting is their preference over practical parenting.
That trend is seen in fertility clinics where thousands of women (&
men) become hysterically obsessed about the value of their genetic
stock. They form an almost anti-adoption credo right up until they've
exhausted all of medicine's miracles, and then when they do adopt,
the PRACTICAL parenting experience is finally validated with a
reasonable outlook on our ability to parent children that were
biologically created by others.
Although I'm glad these adoptive parents have finally come around and
found happiness with their families, I still resent them for adding
to the erroneous hype that we must be breeding, and breeding with our
own genetic stock, to truly have a happy family.
I, myself, have a very happy family now: its me, my hubby, our three
(rescued & fixed) cats, and our (rescued & fixed) three-legged dog!
I'm hoping that one day my hubby will join me from the narcissitic
side of the fence and we'll get to foster/adopt a child to enrich our
already great family. Until then, I'm just on my endless search for
support and reason regarding this subject.
It was great to hear your comments Les and to know I'm not alone.