Fwd: OT:Murphy's Laws For Horse's and Horse Owners
- I don't normally pass these on, but this was just too much fubn to
resist. *So* true!!
Murphy's Laws For Horse's and Horse Owners
1. If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling,
your truck will break down.
2. There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
3. No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
4. A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the
number of people who are watching.
5. Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be
destroyed; horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
6. Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half
finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse's head
left to trim.
7. If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you
did. If you're wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn't.
8. One horse isn't enough; two is too many.
9. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street
clothes," you will get dirty.
10. You can't push a horse on a lunge line.
11. If a horse is advertised "under $5,000," you can bet he isn't
12. The number of horses you own increases according to the
number of stalls in your barn.
13. An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.
14. You can't run a barn without baling twine.
15. Hoof picks migrate.
16. Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your
17. There is no such thing as the "right feed."
18. If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most
19. The least useful horse in your barn eats to most, requires
corrective shoeing every three weeks and requires the servces of the
vet a minimum of once a month.
20. The horse you really want you can't afford. The horse you
can afford isn't for sale.
21. Bailing twine multiplies in the dark.
22. No one really learns how to swear until they learn how to
23. Ninety-eight percent of all horse folk consider themselves
above average riders.
24. Balance is not hereditary.
25. Dressage tests always seem to be ridden next to a hanglider
26. If there are two paths to choose, you will always choose the
27. The effort to keep from falling over a fence always hurts
more than falling off.
28. You always think to call the farrier when you're nowhere
near a phone.
29. When you want to prove a certain a horse is a complete pig,
it will perform flawlessly--and vice versa.
If you are shopping for a horse, the only one that meets your
requirements will be located at least 7 states distance.
If you are selling a horse, it will go severely lame just as the
buyer who always pays full price pulls into your driveway.
If you are on a carefully planned budget, there will be a severe
drought and hay prices will triple.
There will be no breeders of your favorite breed within 8 hours
driving distance. If you are shopping for Arabians, they will all get
"Mad Arabian Disease" and die, but the Percheron population will explode.
You pay $500 dollars for a saddle, try to sell it, but only get
offered $150.00 because your saddle is black and buyers want tan.
If you want a pony, no ponies are available anywhere in this
Solar System. If you want a horse, thousands of ponies are listed For Sale.
Papers are never delivered as promised because previous owner
burned them to annoy his ex.
Breed X is all the rage, your horses are breed Y.
Gray horses are all the rage, your horses are bay. Your Western
Pleasure outfits are green and beige, today's fashions are blue and
orange. If you don't look like the outside of a Howard Johnson's, you won't win.
1. The better trained your horse goes, the messier the inside of
your house gets.
2. As soon as you get on your horse on a windy day, the horrid
children next door will decide to go shooting gophers with their pellet
gun right near where you are located.
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