Censorship be damned! CONDOMS !!!!!!!!! AUTHENTIC ONES!!!!!
- OK Y'all
We gunna talk bout CONDOMS
here it is,
From: Ian Anderson<Ian33regt@...>
To: Larry Lozon<lalozon@...>
Date: Friday, October 01, 1999 9:41 PM
Subject: Re: YES--CONDOMS !!!!!!!!! AUTHENTIC ONES!!!!!
I am the exclusive agent on this continent for Mrs.' Phillips'
Finest Linen Condoms. These are available to military men with the ribbon
used to affix them in the color of their regiment's facings.
Cheers! --Ian Anderson, surgeon, 33d Foot
IO couldn't believe it so I asked him
to qualify his statement, his next "E"
Well, yes they are correct. It's a bit of a story.
There was a real Mrs. Phillips. She was located in London and was known
for the quality of her condoms. She made three kinds: the first, the best
quality, were made of two sheep's caecums (appendixes) that were tanned,
impregnated with scented oils, then rubbed and polished with glass rods while
stretched over forms. One caecum was glued inside another. The next best was
a single caecum, treated as the first variety. The economy version, those
which I make, was made of oiled linen. I do the linen ones because the cost
of using sheep would make the cost prohibitive. All three types were tied on
I originally used linseed oil, until I almost burned down our house when
the oiled linen I had in the basement began to show signs of spontaneous
combustion. Now, as a concession to safety, I use a non period but safe
substance instead of linseed oil.
As I mentioned earlier, if you are a military man, I can furnish the
ribbon in the colour of your regiment's facings.
The condoms come in a paper package made of the right kind of paper,
with a label printed in a correct typeface, also on correct paper. Each
packet is sealed with a wax seal with a stamped cupid.
I have exhibited them at several events during my portrayal of a
regimental surgeon of the 33rd Foot, and they attracted so much amused
interest that I decided to begin making and selling them. I had intended to
start some time around the end of October. They are unique, and would be
great for the 18th c. reinactor who has everything.
One size fits all, and tying them on must have been a rare feeling.
Despite being made of very fine linen, they were fairly stiff. Using one
must have been like washing your feet with your boots on. The main reason
they were used was probably more for the prevention of contracting a sexually
transmitted disease than to prevent pregnancy.
You may certainly tell your friends. I expect that they will sell for
Whatchathink Len, Pud, Girls, y'all ?!?!?
- In a message dated 10/2/1999 7:51:24 AM Central Daylight Time,
<< Despite being made of very fine linen, they were fairly stiff.
Sounds like 18th century Viagra to me!
>>Well actually the linen was rubberized. The system was also used by the
Mongolfier brothers to stop air escaping from their Hot Air Balloon,
reportedly at the suggestion of King Louis!
All together "Would you like to fly, In my beautiful balloon....."