Date: Thu, 22 May 2003 15:53:51 -0000
From: "Sara" <plainjane380@...
Subject: Laura's Cow
Oh yes, about the particulars of the cow... It was of the brown
variety that produces the best quality chocolate milk required to
make Laura's traditional chocolate candies. These sweet treats were
crucial in Laura's plan to bribe and gain the trust of the American
soldiers who occupied her house. The same cow did bravely accompany
Laura on her journey to warn Fitzgibbon (who Laura had been sweet on
since her childhood days back in Great Barrington) and save the
troops from the enemy's surprise attack. Some say the warning was
not Laura's only motivation for her desperate trek 20 miles through
forest and swamp. Anyway, the cow was thus named *BIG RED* after
Laura's red haired secret sweetie!
Sorry, I always wanted to do that :)
No apologies are necessary !
I can see an incredible blockbuster movie here!! But we'll have to make some
changes for cinematography of course ! I can just see all the different
variation's that we could do here !
#1 - The "actual" historical version . ( Nah, it'll never get any
endorsement's for silly little toy's that you can collect from the big fast
#2 - The HUGE blockbuster !! Lot's of loud noise, gasoline bomb explosions,
incredible special effects , picture this ... the cow takes a dump and it's
done in a slow motion time warp type thingie a la Matrix !!..... I LIKE IT
!! .. "Wow man"
#3 - The "artsy-fartsie" version . The cow is grazing in a pasture.....
in black and white....... for 17 hour's ..... fade to black ...
#4 - The "adult" version . well let's see, ( don't worry Jim I'll behave !
;^) ) Picture this.... you have " Laura " ( not her real name ) with her
"red haired secret sweetie ", (you can interpret that for what ever you
will ), her "interest" "FIZT" gibbon, and a character called "Big Red ".
Cue music .... boom ciggi bow bow !!
#5 - The Foreign Film version . The winner of the Stockholm Film Festival .
" A brutal love triangle that ends in everyone committing suicide " I
laughed , I cried , I thought it was brilliant !! It was better than Cat's
and Mamma Mia ! ( I didn't get my kickback for this review !!)
Anyway, enough !! Sometimes I get off on these tangent's ! The point of
this exercise ? I don't know . We all need a laugh every now and then!
25th US Whiting's Company
42nd Reg't , Grenadier Company