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WOSSNAME - JUNE 2001 - PART 1 OF 3

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion June 2002 (Volume 5, Issue 6) *********************************************************************
    Message 1 of 2 , Jul 5, 2002
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      June 2002 (Volume 5, Issue 6)
      *********************************************************************
      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
      in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
      *********************************************************************
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      News Editor: Bethany Ayers
      Staff Writers: Lady Aranluc
      Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
      Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
      Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
      Art Director : Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
      Convention News Editor: Megan Perry
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2002 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------
      INDEX:

      ====Part 1

      1) EDITORIAL
      2) FIRST KFL DISCWORLD CONVENTION
      3) SCORPION-ONNA-STICK
      4) DUCKS AND THE INFINITE
      5) A CHIP ON TERRY'S SHOULDER?

      ====Part 2

      6) IS PT A 'CHANGING ROOMS" FAN?
      7) RIDCULLY'S BOLD BATH
      8) BATHROOM RESONANCE
      9) YOUR DISC HOROSCOPE

      ====Part 3

      10) HOBBIT RECIPE FROM DISCWORLD
      11) PUZZLE: MORT
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      1) EDITORIAL

      Perhaps you're wondering why the June issue, which normally
      arrives around the end of June is coming to you in July.

      We have had four weeks of solid rain here in Florida with a
      lot of heavy lightning flashes. This is the lightning capital
      of the world, and for the past several days, it has been much
      worse than usual. I was going to try again last night but
      heard about some unfortunate local man who went from
      his house to his car and was struck dead by lightning in
      his driveway. It seemed like a good time to lie down and
      meditate.

      Much as I love the works of Terry Pratchett, I figured this
      was not a good week for pushing things. Luckily, things
      have quieted down a bit and I am doing my best to finish
      the newsletter today.

      Cordially,

      Joe Schaumburger
      Editor

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      2) FIRST KFL DISCWORLD CONVENTION

      Yes, the KFL has finally come up with a convention of
      its own. Lady Aranluc, our own Queen of the
      Horoscopes, is quite busy at the moment, organizing
      the first KFL Spanish Discon, Ankh-Madriz, which
      will be held in Madrid on July 23-24 (?). This may be the
      first non-English speaking Discworld Convention
      -- it is certainly the first one for the KFL.

      Manuel Delibano, the head of our large and growing
      Spanish language section with over 350 members
      worldwide, reports on Aranluc: "I didn't find her anywhere,
      she just turned up on the net and started doing just
      about everything: drawings, songs, fics, the
      horoscope... Of course, I couldn't help enrolling her in
      El Puercoespín."

      She's a lively 23-year old who has her own website
      (in Spanish, of course) with all of her production
      (DW or not, graphic or written) located at:
      http://geocities.com/aranlucx/
      or you can write her directly at: ankh_madriz@...
      for more details on the Con or at: aranlucx@...

      I ran her Con announcement through my translation program
      to get more details on the Con but, as usual, the program
      generated material that is neither in English nor in Spanish
      but in some strange robotic language it seems to have invented.

      Here's what I came up with:

      First, a sample of the translation, so you can see what the
      computer revolution has brought you:

      "(beneath)the paved of the biggest Square, they have found a
      container for the collection of rubbles that dates of 1300 and
      a fossil digger of the cretácico."

      As nearly as I can determine, this is the Program:

      SATURDAY

      12 NOON - Welcome and Registration
      1 PM - Guide to Ankh-Madriz
      2 PM - 3 PM - Panels
      4 PM - Tournament to Mutilate Mrs. Onion
      5 PM - 6 PM - Theatrical Performance
      "Lords and Ladies"
      9:30 PM - Dinner
      11:30 PM - Readings

      SUNDAY

      10 AM - Breakfast
      11 AM - Movie - WYRD SISTERS
      1 PM - Panels
      2 PM - Farewell
      3 PM - Sandwiches for Stragglers

      There will also be "disguises and surprises" -
      some sort of a raffle - and even T-shirts.

      Admission is a modest 3 euros, about US$ 3
      Dinner is 6 euros, and the T-shirts are 14 euros.

      That's all I can make out of the robotic text,
      and I had to do a lot of interpreting and guessing.
      The biggest problem is that they have said the
      dates are July 23 and 24, which fall on Tuesday
      and Wednesday. Check the website or e-mail
      Aranluc to straighten this out.

      As to where it is being held, the robotic text is
      absolutely inscrutable, although it sounds vaguely
      like a university.

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      3) SCORPION-ONNA-STICK

      Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler's latest treat

      Seen in a market in China.

      http://www.cs.huji.ac.il/~liad/pics/html/china/foodmarket.jpg

      (Courtesy of Ms. Moby)

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      4) DUCKS AND THE INFINITE

      To the Editor:

      Cliff wrote:

      > It seems to me that Terry Pratchett is the first to relate ducks to the
      > infinite.
      >
      > The relation is indirect. DEATH has stated that the infinite is duck egg
      > blue from the outside. Only things that are duck egg blue are certain
      > gemstones and some, but not all, duck eggs. Now, it is uncharacteristic of
      > Terry to write about dead things like cold, not very valuable, very
      > not-alive gems.
      >
      > So there has to be a duck sitting on infinity waiting for it to hatch.
      > [Perfect Discworldish logic!]

      The Soul Cake Tuesday Duck? (or whatever it is - I don't have the
      volume to hand) ((SM, FOC, H))?

      > Even as I type this, I'm wondering if it is true. I'm looking at a tiling
      > piece by M.C.Escher where white flying things on a black background turn
      > smoothly into black flying things on a white background. In the middle,
      > those flying things might be ducks. Might be geese. Probably, considering
      > how Escher saw the world, paper airplanes from seven year olds in grade
      > school.
      >
      > Also, there might be ducks in Chinese iconography or Japanese.
      >
      > There aren't any in ours. We have bunnies, geese, horses, etc., but no
      > ducks. Ancient Egyptians had all sorts of animals: ferocious lions and
      > crocodiles, a silly bird called ibis, a harmless little antelope called
      > ibex, and two thousand and two (From a coffee table picture book "2002
      > Egyptian Gods") others. But no ducks. Amerindians, (Caribbean, Northern,
      > Southern and Central) made totems of all sorts of dangerous animals, but
      not
      > ducks.
      >
      > Gary Larson has related chickens, cows and lots of other animals to the
      > infinite through his double deep metaphors, but not ducks.

      Larson has done some deeply disturbing work relating to ducks.

      -- Martin Watts

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      5) A CHIP ON TERRY'S SHOULDER?

      Mark Barltrop writes about the UK book trade magazine
      The Bookseller's comments:

      You hear this sort of thing all the time from SF wallahs, who bang
      on about the Booker Prize and never seem to take the pleasure they
      should in the fact that they are Not As Other People.

      In fact I am contemplating a series of riotously funny fantasy
      novels set entirely in Chipworld, a self-contained universe that
      hovers permanently just above Terry Pratchett's shoulder."

      I must say I don't think Terry has a chip on his shoulder, I think
      it's quite understandable that he should be miffed that he's passed
      over for awards just because he's writing fantasy - I'm quite sure if
      he were writing mainstream fiction he'd have been hailed by the
      critics as the new Wodehouse or Twain ages ago.

      Heck, even some SF fans don't have much time for fantasy. There was
      quite a hoohah last year when Harry Potter won the Hugo for best
      Novel.

      I just hope that the Carnegie award committee redress the situation
      and give the medal to Amazing Maurice....but even if they do, a lot
      of literary types will shrug their shoulders and say, "Well it's only
      a kid's award, isn't it?"

      -- Mark Barltrop, tachyon@...

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------
      If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------
      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3
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