Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
January 2002 (Volume 5, Issue 1)
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
including the North American Discworld Society and other
continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
News Editor: Bethany Ayers
Staff Writers: Geof Johns, Michael Jones
Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
Art Director : Rhett Pennell
World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
Convention News Editor: Megan Perry
Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
Copyright 2001 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
1. New Books
2. UK Bestseller Lists for 2001
3. Hogswatch Update
KFL MEETS AROUND THE WORLD
4. UK Meets
5. Australian Meets
OTHER KFL WORLD REPORTS
8. Letters from Our Readers
9. GOFAD Dues Reduced
10. Monthly Puzzle
11. Helpful Curses
12. Last Minute News: Truckers on the Stage
1) NEW BOOKS
Amazon.co.uk has announced they will offer
THE LAST HERO by Terry Pratchett, illustrated
by Paul Kidby, on August 15, 2002, in paperback,
The book, which will sell for GBP 13.99 (USD 19.76)
will have 160 pages new edition, same as the US
and UK hardcover editions. The publisher is Gollancz,
and the ISBN is 0575073772.
2) UK BESTSELLER LISTS FOR 2001
Belated New Year greetings to all.
The Paperback Fastsellers List for 2001 has
THE TRUTH in at no. 29 with publisher's sales
standing at 349,483, of which 260,802 were
home sales and 88,681 were export.
The Sunday Telegraph's hardback original
fiction UK Bestsellers of the Year (books
published in 2001) list had THIEF OF TIME
in first position, with 131,742 recorded sales
through the participating booksellers, THE
LAST HERO in fourth position with 96,756
sales, and THE AMAZING MAURICE AND
HIS EDUCATED RODENTS in seventh
position, with 84,339 sales.
Methuen Drama is publishing Stephen Briggs's
adaptations of THE FIFTH ELEPHANT (ISBN
0-413-77115-6) and THE TRUTH (ISBN
0-413-77116-4) on 21 February, both at £7.99.
-- Colin Smythe
3) HOGSWATCH UPDATE
Hands up all of you who thought that Hogswatchnight
was December 24th on Discworld as well as Roundworld.
The Discworld Companion (under 'Calendar') points out
that Hogswatchnight and Crueltide are the middle AND
END of the year, and that farmers often use the two as
the same, working in half-years.
Hence Hogswatchnight would have to be the end of the
month (whichever month it was).
KFL MEETS AROUND THE WORLD
4) UK MEETS
BURA meet 2002/New Year meet
Date: 6th January 2002
Attendees: Anne, Dru, Jessie, Fuzzy
Also attending: Terry, Martin
Featured telephonic attendee: Steven
Topics of Conversation (not extensive): Pterry,
trains, being run over by train (ew), birds, cats,
dogs, friends, travel, music, food, BU,
BU meets (past and future).
We met at Birmingham Ne Street Station and
as we had to wait another hour for Jessie's train
from London we began the meet with a couple of
cappuccino's and chat in Morelli's. Then we
returned to the station and where soon approached
by the meek Jessie and attendance was complete.
As Birmingham is my home town I figured that a
small tour was in order so I led the group to Victoria
Square where we all marveled at the sight of the
Floozy in the Jacuzzi. Also, still on show, was the
'whole side of big building' huge advent calendar
which was pretty impressive.
Shortly after this we were joined on the telephone by
Steven and all got the chance to wish him a belated
Happy Birthday. (His birthday was on December 31st
for those who did not know.) Then we moved on to
Centenary Square and I took the group inside the
Birmingham Symphony Hall which never fails to impress,
then on to James Brindley Square and a very nice part
of the Birmingham canal (which was still quite frozen).
We then decided it was time for sustenance and popped
into Pizza Express for, well, pizza of course! Much chatting
later we decided it was time to head back to the station.
I lead the way and contrary to belief, I would like to point
out that at no point were we lost. (Why did they close that
underpass? It was a short cut.)
Back at the station we said our good-byes and are now
looking forward to planning the next BURA meet which
will hopefully be in the Spring.
Well,it looks like none of the Pommie Bu'ers have
written about our meet,so it falls to Muggins here :-)
BURA of 5th January 2002 was held on 6th January,
which gives you an idea of how well organised we were.
Attendees were Drusilla D'Afanguin, the well-known
part-time vampire werepenguin and wolfhassler;
Anne Syrana Poste-Carde, BURA founder and
vegetarian vampire; Fuzzy,on a brief holiday from her
secret residence in Australia;Jessie the Meek,
accompanied by her ear infection; Fuzzy's Dad,
Martin;and my *other* husband,Terry. Those
who couldn't make it included PT the Woll, who
was afflicted by a bad case of work,and Loopy,last
seen on the M25 with his frozen thumb sticking out.
We met at New Street Station, Birmingham (the one in
England,for you Merkins). Once Martin had determined
that we weren't crazed axe murderers - we took the
precaution of leaving our axes in Left Luggage - we all
got on famously. As the whole meet was on short notice,
we hung around the station,drinking cappuccinos in honour
of absent penguins,then were taken on a tour of Birmingham
City Centre by Anne,and dined together at Pizza Express.
No-one turned out to have terminal warts,some friendships
were forged (and others were genuine), and the Absent
Penguin phoned twice to wish us a good party and to be
wished a belated happy birthday (for all two of you who don't
know,his name is Steven and he was born on 31st December,
a fact BU has pulled out of him only after extensive torture).
Eventually we ran out of places to loiter and were getting
suspicious looks from the City Watch,so we photographed
each other, got lost on our way back to the station - thanks
to our cunning native guide - and agreed to set up a Rites
of Spring BURA after Easter,at which time there will be a
Rocks In jam session,and Cooking With Menaces.
Oh,and we'll bring our axes this time :-)
-- Drusilla the Noisy Cow, Irish Defender of BURA
5. AUSTRALIAN MEETS
BREAKING NEWS ~crash~
The feud between MelMeeters (with the number of meets
they have managed have the right to feel proud) and the
Sydsiders (who managed to organise a meet for two
places on the one street at the same time) has been
slightly lessened by the exchange of diplomatic envoys.
Kiren of Sydney visited Melbourne last week, Bek of
Melbourne is venturing into the Barbarian Lands in the
weeks to come. Watch this space for more
Revenge of the Return of the Bride of
the Son of MelMeet II part 15
Greetings one and all,
The latest MelMeet was a big success, despite
Dianne being unable to join us and Paul being at
a job interview. Paul, we all wish you every success
with the interview, and hope you remembered that even
Libwolves don't get the job if they drop an ephalent on the
interviewer from a great height.
Trina sends her apologies that she couldn't make it, and
says that she hopes to be re-subscribing to the insanity
of BU some time in the next few weeks.
Bek and Matt and Jase arrived early. Your Humble Narrator
arrived just after 12:30, not 5 seconds after Jase wondered
aloud if I would be coming at all. I would have been there
earlier, except the entire tram system was shut down for
some parade for fire fighters who saved NSW from burning.
Apparently NSW fire fighters haven't discovered "water"
yet and had to have Victorians help them.
Greetings were exchanged, business transactions were finalised,
and Microsoft was bagged. Kieran arrived next, exhausted from
his efforts to stop his girfriend spending the budget of a small
European country on clothes. Obviously the effort had worn out
his brain, because he had left her alone at the Victoria Market.
We can only hope that the credit card self-destructs before it
melts-down and kills us all.
We made it easy on the waiter by all ordering the same: Druid's
Burgers and Coke. Except for Steven, who had to be different
and order Chinotto instead. The b-----d.
We then made fun of Microsoft's "settlement" after being found
guilty of using a monopoly to illegally control another market
(for those who are unfamiliar with MS's proposed "punishment",
they suggested that they donate millions of dollars of Microsoft
software to schools -- since the education market is one of the
few areas that MS don't control, the judge threw it out as an
obviously predatory action). We then drooled over the Macintosh
Cube and iMac, talked about lax security at universities,
wondered whether Linux would play V-CDs, argued about how
long it would take Optus to shut-down your Optus At Home
account if you downloaded 300 Gigabytes a day, and briefly
mentioned a little-known English fantasy writer named
Perry Hatchett, or something similar.
We talked about Paul behind his back. Oh boy Paul, did you
*really* do that thing with the tub of margarine, the watermelon and
the bottle of tomato sauce? We laughed and laughed until it hurt!
Steven then surprised everyone, especially Jase, by remembering the
names of his wife and children. Luckily nobody asked him to spell
Konnar^H^H^H Conar^H^H^H Conah^H^H^H^H the name of his son.
Unfortunately, Steven then had to return to work, however unknown to
the others he slipped a small but powerful bug under the table, and
transmitted their conversation back to his home where it was recorded.
So guys, you better hope you didn't say bad things about me while I
was gone. I know where you live.
Except Kieran, but he's a Sydneysider, so we have to make allowances
if he says anything stoopid.
All in all, a fine time was had by all, except for the waiter who had
to hose down the walls afterwards (really Kieran, do you eat like that
-- Steven D'Aprano
(This information is not very complete and seems
to be pieced together from shredded documents,
but it's all we have ....)
*Looks around* Um, guys? any decisions yet?
Poor lass here will be cut off from net access
from next thursday PM
Bek - wondering if bekmeet will occur?
Sunday, January 27, 2002 12:16 PM
Re: Bekmeet v.1
There is a mamas kitchen just down from town hall...
<shrug> just across from the spanish club.
sometime city worker
Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2002 3:03 AM
Subject: Re: [ozdw] Re: Bekmeet v.1
>Yes, we will be driving to sydney... So, 10:30 at some place in the city?
>we do have a map of sydney as well, so street names would be good :-)
>wandering, eating and staring at books I want to buy (because i'm almost
>bankrupt as it is, and will be by the time i get to sydney) sounds good to
Have fun parking in the city... we'll have to enjoy
lunch without you.
Does anyone know good cafes? I like the old mamma's
kitchen suggestion, cheapish and kinda out of the way.
We could go Broadway or Market City (market city is
good if we meet at central). If we meet at town hall, I'm
not too sure about anything close that is good, but it is
more convenient for galaxy bookstore...
-- Kieran B.
End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3