WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2001 -- PART 2 OF 2 (continued)
7) BRIGGS' NEW WEBSITE
It's been a very long time coming (and it's still got the workmen
tinkering away in corners) - but I now _do_ have a website on
the end of the domain I've been paying for!
It can be found at www.cmotdibbler.com hopefully -
*please* feel free to put the word out!!
-- Stephen Briggs
8) A WEE SHARD OF BAD POTTERY
This is dedicated to the Simian Brimian and his
instate-brimian-into-the-language campaign ...
Ode To The Librarian
He's orange-hued and simian
Unfazed by all things brimian
He'd wear a baseball cap - but,sigh,orang-utans don't rap
He swings upon lianas
And eats bananananas
This simian chap in his wizzardly cap's
More virile than a man is.
A friend,I wot,of Pterry's,
He tames rogue dictionaries
And gallivanting grimoires
(and PT's series,'Brim Wars')
He fondles bestiaries, and guzzles Hogswatch sherries
This simian chap in his wizzardly cap
Who's keen on nuts and berries.
Some lust for Vetinari - no common Dick or Harry
Some pine,with unveil'd candour
For Vimes,the Watch Commander
But that simian chap in his wizzardly cap
(Much more kingly than Kong) gets this vamp in a flap
That's why I dream of marryin'
The Unseen U. Librarian !
Ursula Uxor Sphenisciformis
-- Drusilla the noisy cow
9) HOLIDAY EVENT IN SOMERSET (UK)
There is an Event at the Cunning Artificer's Emporium in Wincanton.
Here are the details in Bernard's own words
"On Sunday, December 2nd there will be a jolly and festive gathering in
our Emporium; for that star of stage, screen, and the written word, Mr
Terry Pratchett, will be there signing books, and anything else that's
thrust before him.
There is promised to be a full supporting cast, including that
well-known thespian Mr Stephen Briggs, along with the celebrated
daubist Mr Paul Kidby.
We have been assured that the Cheerfulness Fairy herself will honour
us with her presence, and may be persuaded to lead the community
Needless to say, we will be launching just one or two unconsidered
little trifles, and there will of course be mince pies, mulled wine,
and other festive sweetmeats given free to those who turn up.
We plan to start the proceedings from 2pm and I dare say it will go on
for a few hours. Local pubs do lunches, and if you want to make a
weekend of it we have a list of good places to stay. The last time
Terry came here it was a real gas, and this time it's not only on a
Sunday, but there will be more space to spread out in as we are
renting the public rooms of a local pub - so queuing might actually be
Anybody turning up in Discworld costume will be given a prize: anybody
turning up in a taffeta skirt and wellington boots will be looked on
Hope to see you there - it's going to be a real start to the Christmas
-- Bernard Pearson
Address: The Cunning Artificer,
41 High St., Wincanton,
Somerset BA9 9JU
Tel: (01963) 824686
Fax: (01963) 824671
Email: Isobel Pearson
LETTERS FROM OUR READERS
10) KNITTED CHAIN MAIL?
To the Editor:
Well, I think I can settle this. It may not be
chainmail - I believe it might in fact be a knitted
shirt of Ramtops wool, given to Carrot by his adoptive
parents in "Guards! Guards!" IIRC, which he promised
to wear at all times. And we know how well Carrot
keeps his promises....
Ramtops wool is considered an acceptable alternative
to chainmail by the more liberal dwarves (e.g.
Copperhead dwarves) since it shares most of the basic
characteristics; i.e. steel-like texture, ability to
deflect axe-blows, extreme discomfort, and tendency to
rust without regular polishing. But you *can* knit it,
although a forge of some type may well be required :-)
Happy to help!
-- David Hopkins
11) SOUL MUSIC VIDEO
To the Editor:
I loved Soul Music, the music was wonderful. The librarian
doing a Jerry Lee Lewis was fantastic. The barman at the
Mended Drum was wonderful. I can't think of any other words
to describe them. The whole thing was FANTASTIC.
To the Editor:
I've just seen (courtesy of my sister's new
boyfriend) the video of Soul Music. Apart
from one or two things, it was absolutely
excellent and I loved every second of it.
If Wyrd Sisters is as good as Soul Music I'll be
amazed, because no one could possibly portray
Granny in cartoon form and be accurate.
-- Hay Giggleswildlywolf
12) SOUTHAMPTON (UK) SIGNING
To the Editor:
Okay, so, my lovely trip to get Pterry's autograph! An on-topic email!
Please don't hurt me!
And I'm going to give you a link to my webpage with all my pictures rather
than annoying people by pasting them into this email. So if you care, go to:
I had an incredibly difficult time figuring out where I was in fact going
for this, and after about an hour of playing on the WHSmith website and then
the Bristol bus website, I finally discoevered which bus I had to be on, and
then went to the wrong stop, delayig my trip even further because I forgot
my camera and had to go back. But finally I got to the place around 12:30
which was when he was supposed to get there. I bought my two copies of The
Last Hero and went to the end of the queue... which was all the way down the
side of the store and partway across the back. I began to doubt my own
12:35--I began chatting with the people standing in front of me and ended up
learning quite a bit about British culture, the habits of non-fantasy fans
who are married to/parents of fantasy fans, how exactly one ought to go
about reading various sci-fi novels including which ones are worth reading
past the very boring opening chapters (uhm, Steven Donaldson's series is
that one, I think.).
12:47--The WHSmith employees came by with a box of candy for those of us
1:05--I had moved perhaps 20 feet. Now I was really doubting my sanity.
1:25--I pointed out the copies of "Nanny Ogg's Cookbook" to the guy standing
in front of me, who appeared to be wholly unaware of its existence! I felt
1:35--I take the second picture on the webpage, which I like to call "an
arty representation of waiting in line." Here you can see the backs of
people's heads and one woman succumbing to the lure of the books around us
as she waits.
1:50--Finally! The front of the line! Various pictures of various shots of
the great Pterry signing different things. Woohoo!
1:55--My turn! I sent regards from all of you. Pterry seemed surprised but
appreciative. "What, really?" he said. I had my two copies autographed, one
for me, and one for my friend Brandi for Christmas. The last picture of the
page is, in fact, me and the man himself! Woohoo!
2:05--I hopped a bus back to the university and got horribly motionsick and
then had to go work on my presentation which is due tomorrow, but nothing
could ruin the day!
So, yeah, it was cool! They had both The Last Hero and The Amazing Maurice,
as well as all the old stuff, the Thieves Guild Yearbook (right? the
something yearbook anyway), the Cookbook, etc etc etc. I kept gloating
thinking that none of my friends in the US will have these yet.
Anyway, now I _really_ have to get back to work, having dawdled an hour an a
half catching up on the list from the past two days. Jeez, people! *grin*
Toodles and pip pip and cheerio and all that British stuff,
-- Jessie, meek student, worrier princess
To the Editor:
I missed it!! - my older son is at a Southampton institute
and came home saying that there had been a signing in
the city that day.
I was so disappointed, but it was too late.
Offspring arrives home the next day and said he'd made a
mistake and it had been that day - fortunately he is a foot
taller and a lot stronger than I am - or I might have been
tempted to trollishness. I might have tried dwarfishness
but there was nothing remotely axelike to hand.
How can I track these events so my firstborn does not
put himself in danger by getting the date wrong?
-- Anne Croucher
13) GODS OF THE DISCWORLD - ANSWERS
TO LAST MONTH'S TRIVIA QUIZ
What are the names of these gods?
A. Goddess of the Afternoon
B. The Crocodile-Headed
C. God of the Winds
D. Goddess of saunas, snow and theatrical performances
for few than 120 people
E. Chief of the Gods
F. Goddess of the sea, apple pie, certain types of ice cream
and short lengths of string
G. God of wine and things on sticks
H. Goddess of wisdom
I. God of things left on the doorstep or half-digested
under the bed
J. God of paperclips and unnecessary paperwork
Scoring: 10 points for each correct answer
0-20: Pratchett is too advanced for you -
go back to Buffy watching
30-40: There may be some hope for you
50-60: Re-read all your Pratchett books
70-80: You have superior literary taste
90-100: How would you like to be Trivia
14) ERRATA, OR HOW WE GOOFED
To the Editor:
> 2) THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS
> EDUCATED RODENTS
> This is ostensibly a children's book, but of course it
> isn't. It is prime Pratchett - a retelling of the story of
> the Pied Piper with some "minor" changes. This, of
> course, is like saying that "Wyrd Sisters" is a retelling
> of Hamlet or "Guards, Guards" is a retelling of "The
> Three Musketeers."
Macbeth, not Hamlet.
I'm sure you are being bombarded with
e-mails correcting you on this one.
Ed. note: Oops! Thankfully, you're the only one
who noticed it.
Ed. note: Also we attributed the publication of
this book to " Laura Geringer Books" which we
picked up from Amazon.com. HarperCollins
was a bit upset by this since, while they do have
a Laura Geringer imprint, it was not involved in
this title at all. Since I had a copy of the book
in front of me while I wrote, it is all my fault.
Copyright (c) 2001 by Klatchian Foreign Legion