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WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2001 -- PART 2 OF 2

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2001 -- PART 2 OF 2 (continued) ... 7) BRIGGS NEW WEBSITE It s been a very long time coming (and it s still got the workmen tinkering
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 30, 2001
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      WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2001 -- PART 2 OF 2 (continued)
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      7) BRIGGS' NEW WEBSITE

      It's been a very long time coming (and it's still got the workmen
      tinkering away in corners) - but I now _do_ have a website on
      the end of the domain I've been paying for!

      It can be found at www.cmotdibbler.com hopefully -
      *please* feel free to put the word out!!

      -- Stephen Briggs

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      8) A WEE SHARD OF BAD POTTERY

      This is dedicated to the Simian Brimian and his
      instate-brimian-into-the-language campaign ...

      Ode To The Librarian

      He's orange-hued and simian
      Unfazed by all things brimian
      He'd wear a baseball cap - but,sigh,orang-utans don't rap
      He swings upon lianas
      And eats bananananas
      This simian chap in his wizzardly cap's
      More virile than a man is.
      A friend,I wot,of Pterry's,
      He tames rogue dictionaries
      And gallivanting grimoires
      (and PT's series,'Brim Wars')
      He fondles bestiaries, and guzzles Hogswatch sherries
      This simian chap in his wizzardly cap
      Who's keen on nuts and berries.
      Some lust for Vetinari - no common Dick or Harry
      Some pine,with unveil'd candour
      For Vimes,the Watch Commander
      But that simian chap in his wizzardly cap
      (Much more kingly than Kong) gets this vamp in a flap
      That's why I dream of marryin'
      The Unseen U. Librarian !

      Ursula Uxor Sphenisciformis

      -- Drusilla the noisy cow

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      9) HOLIDAY EVENT IN SOMERSET (UK)

      There is an Event at the Cunning Artificer's Emporium in Wincanton.
      Here are the details in Bernard's own words

      "On Sunday, December 2nd there will be a jolly and festive gathering in
      our Emporium; for that star of stage, screen, and the written word, Mr
      Terry Pratchett, will be there signing books, and anything else that's
      thrust before him.

      There is promised to be a full supporting cast, including that
      well-known thespian Mr Stephen Briggs, along with the celebrated
      daubist Mr Paul Kidby.

      We have been assured that the Cheerfulness Fairy herself will honour
      us with her presence, and may be persuaded to lead the community
      singing.

      Needless to say, we will be launching just one or two unconsidered
      little trifles, and there will of course be mince pies, mulled wine,
      and other festive sweetmeats given free to those who turn up.

      We plan to start the proceedings from 2pm and I dare say it will go on
      for a few hours. Local pubs do lunches, and if you want to make a
      weekend of it we have a list of good places to stay. The last time
      Terry came here it was a real gas, and this time it's not only on a
      Sunday, but there will be more space to spread out in as we are
      renting the public rooms of a local pub - so queuing might actually be
      fun.

      Anybody turning up in Discworld costume will be given a prize: anybody
      turning up in a taffeta skirt and wellington boots will be looked on
      pityingly.

      Hope to see you there - it's going to be a real start to the Christmas
      season!

      -- Bernard Pearson
      Address: The Cunning Artificer,
      41 High St., Wincanton,
      Somerset BA9 9JU
      Tel: (01963) 824686
      Fax: (01963) 824671
      Web: http://www.artificer.co.uk/
      Email: Isobel Pearson
      isobel@...

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      LETTERS FROM OUR READERS
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      10) KNITTED CHAIN MAIL?

      To the Editor:

      Well, I think I can settle this. It may not be
      chainmail - I believe it might in fact be a knitted
      shirt of Ramtops wool, given to Carrot by his adoptive
      parents in "Guards! Guards!" IIRC, which he promised
      to wear at all times. And we know how well Carrot
      keeps his promises....

      Ramtops wool is considered an acceptable alternative
      to chainmail by the more liberal dwarves (e.g.
      Copperhead dwarves) since it shares most of the basic
      characteristics; i.e. steel-like texture, ability to
      deflect axe-blows, extreme discomfort, and tendency to
      rust without regular polishing. But you *can* knit it,
      although a forge of some type may well be required :-)

      Happy to help!

      -- David Hopkins

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      11) SOUL MUSIC VIDEO

      To the Editor:

      I loved Soul Music, the music was wonderful. The librarian
      doing a Jerry Lee Lewis was fantastic. The barman at the
      Mended Drum was wonderful. I can't think of any other words
      to describe them. The whole thing was FANTASTIC.

      -- Dianne

      To the Editor:

      I've just seen (courtesy of my sister's new
      boyfriend) the video of Soul Music. Apart
      from one or two things, it was absolutely
      excellent and I loved every second of it.

      If Wyrd Sisters is as good as Soul Music I'll be
      amazed, because no one could possibly portray
      Granny in cartoon form and be accurate.

      -- Hay Giggleswildlywolf
      wolfiegirluk@...

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      12) SOUTHAMPTON (UK) SIGNING

      To the Editor:

      Okay, so, my lovely trip to get Pterry's autograph! An on-topic email!
      Please don't hurt me!

      And I'm going to give you a link to my webpage with all my pictures rather
      than annoying people by pasting them into this email. So if you care, go to:
      http://www.geocities.com/jessikins4774/pterrypics.html

      I had an incredibly difficult time figuring out where I was in fact going
      for this, and after about an hour of playing on the WHSmith website and then
      the Bristol bus website, I finally discoevered which bus I had to be on, and
      then went to the wrong stop, delayig my trip even further because I forgot
      my camera and had to go back. But finally I got to the place around 12:30
      which was when he was supposed to get there. I bought my two copies of The
      Last Hero and went to the end of the queue... which was all the way down the
      side of the store and partway across the back. I began to doubt my own
      sanity.

      12:35--I began chatting with the people standing in front of me and ended up
      learning quite a bit about British culture, the habits of non-fantasy fans
      who are married to/parents of fantasy fans, how exactly one ought to go
      about reading various sci-fi novels including which ones are worth reading
      past the very boring opening chapters (uhm, Steven Donaldson's series is
      that one, I think.).

      12:47--The WHSmith employees came by with a box of candy for those of us
      waiting. Yum.

      1:05--I had moved perhaps 20 feet. Now I was really doubting my sanity.

      1:25--I pointed out the copies of "Nanny Ogg's Cookbook" to the guy standing
      in front of me, who appeared to be wholly unaware of its existence! I felt
      good.

      1:35--I take the second picture on the webpage, which I like to call "an
      arty representation of waiting in line." Here you can see the backs of
      people's heads and one woman succumbing to the lure of the books around us
      as she waits.

      1:50--Finally! The front of the line! Various pictures of various shots of
      the great Pterry signing different things. Woohoo!

      1:55--My turn! I sent regards from all of you. Pterry seemed surprised but
      appreciative. "What, really?" he said. I had my two copies autographed, one
      for me, and one for my friend Brandi for Christmas. The last picture of the
      page is, in fact, me and the man himself! Woohoo!

      2:05--I hopped a bus back to the university and got horribly motionsick and
      then had to go work on my presentation which is due tomorrow, but nothing
      could ruin the day!

      So, yeah, it was cool! They had both The Last Hero and The Amazing Maurice,
      as well as all the old stuff, the Thieves Guild Yearbook (right? the
      something yearbook anyway), the Cookbook, etc etc etc. I kept gloating
      thinking that none of my friends in the US will have these yet.
      Muahahahaha...

      Anyway, now I _really_ have to get back to work, having dawdled an hour an a
      half catching up on the list from the past two days. Jeez, people! *grin*

      Toodles and pip pip and cheerio and all that British stuff,

      -- Jessie, meek student, worrier princess

      To the Editor:

      I missed it!! - my older son is at a Southampton institute
      and came home saying that there had been a signing in
      the city that day.

      I was so disappointed, but it was too late.

      Offspring arrives home the next day and said he'd made a
      mistake and it had been that day - fortunately he is a foot
      taller and a lot stronger than I am - or I might have been
      tempted to trollishness. I might have tried dwarfishness
      but there was nothing remotely axelike to hand.

      How can I track these events so my firstborn does not
      put himself in danger by getting the date wrong?

      -- Anne Croucher
      anne_pearson@...

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      13) GODS OF THE DISCWORLD - ANSWERS
      TO LAST MONTH'S TRIVIA QUIZ

      What are the names of these gods?

      A. Goddess of the Afternoon
      SESSIFET
      B. The Crocodile-Headed
      OFFLER
      C. God of the Winds
      FLATULUS
      D. Goddess of saunas, snow and theatrical performances
      for few than 120 people
      URIKA
      E. Chief of the Gods
      BLIND IO
      F. Goddess of the sea, apple pie, certain types of ice cream
      and short lengths of string
      LIBERTINA
      G. God of wine and things on sticks
      BIBULOUS
      H. Goddess of wisdom
      PATINA
      I. God of things left on the doorstep or half-digested
      under the bed
      BAST
      J. God of paperclips and unnecessary paperwork
      NUGGAN
      ----------------------------------------------------------------
      Scoring: 10 points for each correct answer

      0-20: Pratchett is too advanced for you -
      go back to Buffy watching
      30-40: There may be some hope for you
      50-60: Re-read all your Pratchett books
      70-80: You have superior literary taste
      90-100: How would you like to be Trivia
      Editor?
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      14) ERRATA, OR HOW WE GOOFED

      To the Editor:

      > 2) THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS
      > EDUCATED RODENTS

      > This is ostensibly a children's book, but of course it
      > isn't. It is prime Pratchett - a retelling of the story of
      > the Pied Piper with some "minor" changes. This, of
      > course, is like saying that "Wyrd Sisters" is a retelling
      > of Hamlet or "Guards, Guards" is a retelling of "The
      > Three Musketeers."

      Macbeth, not Hamlet.

      I'm sure you are being bombarded with
      e-mails correcting you on this one.

      -- ottertee@...

      Ed. note: Oops! Thankfully, you're the only one
      who noticed it.

      Ed. note: Also we attributed the publication of
      this book to " Laura Geringer Books" which we
      picked up from Amazon.com. HarperCollins
      was a bit upset by this since, while they do have
      a Laura Geringer imprint, it was not involved in
      this title at all. Since I had a copy of the book
      in front of me while I wrote, it is all my fault.

      *************************************************************************
      Copyright (c) 2001 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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