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WOSSNAME - SEPTEMBER 2001 - PART 1 OF 3

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion September 2001 (Volume 4, Issue 9) *********************************************************************
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 29, 2001
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      September 2001 (Volume 4, Issue 9)

      *********************************************************************
      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
      in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
      *********************************************************************
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      News Editor: Bethany Ayers
      Staff Writers: Geof Johns, Michael Jones
      Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
      Art Director : Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
      Convention News Editor: Megan Perry
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2001 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------
      INDEX:

      ==Part 1

      1. The Last Hero
      2. The Amazing Maurice and His
      Educated Rodents
      3. The Binch
      4. The Briggs Report

      ==Part 2

      5. UK Signing Tour Dates: The Last Hero
      6. How I Discovered Terry Pratchett
      7. Voices of Death
      8. Book Bargains

      ==Part 3

      9. Puzzles
      10. Who's Who on the Disc? A Trivia Quiz

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      1) THE LAST HERO

      This is the description of the special edition of
      The Last Hero given by Gollancz: full black cloth,
      endpapers as regular edition, no dust jacket,
      gold blocking to spine and front (with outline
      image of Cohen), head and tailbands, ribbon
      marker, individually shrinkwrapped with
      barcode/price stickered to shrinkwrap.

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      2) THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS
      EDUCATED RODENTS

      Terry's editor at HarperCollins, Jennifer Brehl,
      reports that MAURICE is being published in
      the US in November, simultaneous with
      the British edition.

      -- Colin Smythe

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      3) THE BINCH

      In the style of Dr. Seuss.

      Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot,
      But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
      The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
      Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
      It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
      Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
      But I think that the most likely reason of all
      May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
      But whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
      He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.
      "They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
      "They're raising their families! They're going to church!
      They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
      I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"
      Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
      Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
      They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
      And abide by their U and S values and rules,
      And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
      Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
      Would stand all united, each U and each S,
      And they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"
      All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand,
      and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
      "I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
      And he had an idea-an idea that might work!
      The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
      And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
      "They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
      "And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"
      The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
      All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
      Instead he heard something that started quite low,
      And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow-
      And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
      And he couldn't believe it-they started to sing!
      He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
      What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
      Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
      Was singing! Without any towers at all!
      He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
      For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,
      Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
      And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.
      So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
      With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
      And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
      For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
      For America means a bit more than tall towers,
      It means more than wealth or political powers,
      It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
      So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!

      -- courtesy of Softpaw (Vannesa Felis)
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      4) THE BRIGGS REPORT

      I know it's still September, but the local stores are
      already setting out their Christmas cards and
      wrappings so it seems an appropriate time to ask
      you if you can find space to remind your readers
      that I do have an exclusive range of quality gifts
      for fans of Discworld and that full details are available
      from me at sbriggs@... or at PO Box 147,
      Oxford, OX2 8YT.

      -- Stephen Briggs

      *************************************************************************
      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3





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