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WOSSNAME -- Main issue -- April 2012

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    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion April 2012 (Volume 15, Issue 4, Post 3)
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 28, 2012
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      April 2012 (Volume 15, Issue 4, Post 3)
      WOSSNAME is a free publication for members of the worldwide
      Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North
      American Discworld Society and other continental groups. Are you a
      member? Yes, if you sent in your name, country and e-mail address.
      Are there any dues? No! As a member of the Klatchian Foreign Legion,
      you'd only forget them...
      Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
      News Editor: Fiona (not Bruce) Bruce
      Newshounds: Vera, Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow
      Staff Writers: Asti, Pitt the Elder, Steven D'Aprano, L.C. Thomas
      Convention Reporters: Mithtrethth Hania Ogg et al
      Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
      Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
      Puzzle Editor: Tiff
      Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
      DW Horoscope: Lady Anaemia Asterisk, Fernando Magnifico
      Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet
      World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare
      Copyright 2012 by Klatchian Foreign Legion



      20) CLOSE



      "He's always been a genre of his own; it looks like fantasy, but
      what he is really doing is satirising our recognisable world. There
      is a loyal readership who are not that affected by fashion."

      – publisher Marianne Velmans on Pterry's appeal



      There is so much going on in the Pterryverse lately that it's hard
      to keep up! More than two dozen assorted Pratchett releases this
      year, awards nominations, awards awarded, Twitter tweets and
      Facebook teasers and, well, it's enough to make a news-collector's
      head spin. Among other highlights, Snuff comes out in paperback on
      the 7th June, the same day as The World of Poo (in hardcover,
      though): 7th June. Two weeks later – 21st June – sees the
      publication of The Long Earth.

      Even Transworld themselves admit 2012 is a bumper Pratchett year:

      "Publishing director Marianne Velmans said the packed publishing
      schedule was a result of 'it all coming together—things that we
      had been working on for years. Plus [Terry] has been particularly
      energetic and creative for the past year.' She said the aim behind
      rejacketing the Discworld novels was to 'refresh the backlist; all
      the other brand authors have B-format paperbacks, not A-format, so
      this was an excuse to go back and refresh and clean them up a bit.'
      She added that Pratchett has a large, loyal following, 'but we feel
      that with Snuff he reached out to a new readership. Since he was
      knighted, since he has done these very visible documentaries, he has
      been regarded in a different way.' On the publicity side, Velmans
      said Pratchett would do 'a few select things, but big things'."

      (the above paragraph is taken from _http://tinyurl.com/7co7wlv_)

      On Pterry's Facebook page, there's a new synopsis of Dodger from
      Lynsey at Transworld:

      "To celebrate Dodger being published on the 13th Sept here is a
      little synopsis of the book:

      "Dodger is a tosher – a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of
      Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who
      is anybody doesn't. But when he rescues a young girl from a
      beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him. And Dodger's tale
      of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins..."


      And let's not forget the current Pratchett Prize winners –
      Apocalypse Cow and Half Sick of Shadows – which will be available
      from 10th May 2012, priced at £14.99 each! WOSSNAME wishes every
      success to the two Logans...

      Elsewhere, in The Guardian's "Reading Room", a request for vampire
      literature recommendations, Carpe Jugulum gets not one but two
      mentions, including the wonderful quote "I'm sure Granny Weatherwax
      would give the shiny, sparkly Cullens very short shrift!":


      Now, on with the show!

      – Annie Mac, Editor



      Having already picked up this year's Royal Television Society award
      for best documentary, "Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die" is in the
      running for another major gong:

      "Four sensitive and moving films compete in the Single Documentary
      category: 9/11: The Day That Changed The World goes behind the
      scenes through the memories of America's key decision makers to
      show, minute by minute, how they struggled to manage the assault on
      their nation; The Fight of Their Lives revolves around the infamous
      world championship bout between Nigel Benn and Gerald McClellan in
      February 1995; Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die – in which he
      considers how he might end his life having been diagnosed with
      Alzheimer's in 2008 and explores the realities of medically-
      assisted death; We Need To Talk About Dad (Cutting Edge) follows a
      family who are reunited to confront terrible events from their




      The 2012 Hay Festival looks like it's going to be a wide-ranging
      smorgasbord of events:

      "The 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Dickens will be
      celebrated by a personal portrait from his great-great-great
      granddaughter, the author Lucinda Dickens Hawksley, and biographers
      Claire Tomalin and Simon Callow. Featured authors include Terry
      Pratchett, Lionel Shriver, Salman Rushdie, Martin Amis, Victoria
      Hislop and Ian McEwan..."


      And the most relevant bit:

      Terry Pratchett talks to Rob Wilkins

      "The brilliantly inventive creator of Discworld discusses his work
      and life", including The Long Earth!

      Event 279
      Wednesday 6 June 2012, 5.30pm
      Venue: Barclays Pavilion
      Price: £7.25

      To book:




      Yes, we're barely a month away from Lilac Day again! Bruce Not Bruce
      of Bugarup University writes:

      "I'm wondering if we could lobby Google for a Wear the Lilac Day
      Google doodle? Info from the site: 'Who chooses what doodles will be
      created and how do you decide which events will receive doodles?'

      'A group of Googlers get together regularly to brainstorm and decide
      which events will be celebrated with a doodle. The ideas for the
      doodles come from numerous sources, including Googlers and Google
      users. The doodle selection process aims to celebrate interesting
      events and anniversaries that reflect Google's personality and love
      of innovation.'

      'How can Google users/the public submit ideas for doodles?'

      'The doodle team is always excited to hear ideas from users - they
      can email proposals@... with ideas for the next Google
      doodle. The team receives hundreds of requests every day, so we
      unfortunately can't respond to everyone. But rest assured that we're
      reading them :)'"

      It's undoubtedly too late for this year, but Pratchett fans could
      start a request campaign for next year.



      We already know it's a *librarians'* favourite, so why not...

      "A Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett (winner of a Prometheus Award
      for Night Watch, also set in Discworld), Snuff blends comedy,
      drama, satire, suspense and mystery as a police chief investigates
      the murder of a goblin and finds himself battling discrimination.
      The mystery broadens into a powerful drama to extend the world's
      recognition of rights to include these long-oppressed and disdained
      people with a sophisticated culture of their own."


      "Science fiction features lots of characters who find their own way
      in the universe, regardless of what megacorps or governments try to
      tell them. So it's not surprising that one of the best ways to find
      some of the most exciting new reads is to pay attention to the
      Prometheus Awards for the best libertarian SF books. The six
      Prometheus finalists for 2011 have just been announced, and they
      include Terry Pratchett, Vernor Vinge, and some other great





      From an article in Pharma Times:

      "The Cameron government has pledged to more than double annual
      funding for research into dementia and neurodegenerative diseases to
      over £66 million by 2014/15. The commitment was announced by Prime
      Minister David Cameron as part of a broader dementia challenge that
      will build on England's existing National Dementia Strategy to
      drive up diagnosis rates, raise public awareness of the condition
      and improve the quality of care for people living with dementia. The
      financial boost will raise to an estimated £66.3 million the
      combined value of funding for dementia research from the National
      Institute for Health Research (NIHR), the Medical Research Council
      and the Economic and Social Research Council... The pledge comes
      against a backdrop of recent criticism that the UK has been punching
      below its weight in dementia research, with high-quality output but
      a relatively neglected research base that lags behind higher-profile
      categories such as cancer, stroke and heart disease...

      "Besides the hike in research funding, the government will be
      widening opportunities for people with dementia to take part in
      research. Inviting patient consent to participate in dementia
      research will become part of a quality marker for memory clinics.
      The goal is to recruit 10% of patients into clinical trials for
      dementia. Compared with other conditions such as cancer, the level
      of public engagement in dementia research – whether through
      donation or direct participation in studies – is low, the
      challenge document points out..."



      From an article in the Daily Mail:

      "Over the past few years, Shirley had watched her husband change
      from a bright, animated and capable man to someone who seemed
      confused about where the local shops were. But despite repeated
      trips to their family doctor, they had been sent away and told Mick
      had stress or depression. 'For three long years, we tried to get
      Mick's GP and specialists to listen to my concerns,' says Shirley.
      'Now, finally, we knew the reasons for my husband's behaviour —
      and could make plans, and see what could be done for him.' This
      couple's journey to diagnosis has been harrowing, but theirs is far
      from an isolated case. A study by the Alzheimer's Society found that
      half of people with Alzheimer's will never receive a formal
      diagnosis, and of those who do, two in three will wait longer than a

      "...this bleak picture is compounded by surveys and studies which
      consistently testify to the paucity of diagnostic provision and care
      in this country. A survey published in the Journal of International
      Medical Research in 2004 revealed just 21 per cent of UK citizens
      eligible for drug therapy are being treated. France treats 77 per
      cent of its Alzheimer's patients. Similarly, 73 per cent of patients
      in Italy and 56 per cent in Spain are being treated with
      acetylcholinesterase anti-dementia drugs, such as Aricept... 'The
      earlier a person is diagnosed, they more they are able to make
      decisions while they still have the capacity, particularly about
      their care,' says Professor Clive Ballard, director of the
      Alzheimer's Society. 'It also means they are active for longer, and
      the longer they are active, the better their quality of life and
      health, and the better they and their carers feel. Yet diagnosis is
      simply taking far too long.'..."




      A lovely post-Snuff BBC interview with Our Favourite Author, as
      captured and posted (as an embedded YouTube file) by blogger
      Catherine Dignan:





      Ever heard of "Watch Out! A Discworld Game", by Bernard "Cunning
      Artificer" Pearson & Trevor Truran? No? Well, that's not surprising.
      It was a rejected test game created in the wake of the successful
      "Thud!" game:

      "Only thirteen test copies of this game were produced. Nine were
      used in testing, and all sets got damaged in the testing process.
      The other four sets were sold to Discworld collectors and regular
      customers of The Cunning Artificer. A maximum of FOUR sets in
      perfect condition exist. There is one for sale on eBay, making this
      one of the rarest Discworld collectables ever produced... The game
      set comprises of the following: Eight Watchmen, Eight Thieves, Forty
      eight game tiles, which make up the board, Thieves Guild bag and
      rule book... No one officially knows why it never got made.."


      by Damo

      The inaugural A-M tournament was held at Realm of Legends in
      Croydon. I'd never been there before and I was in Geek Heaven as I
      wandered through the doors carrying bags of Easter eggs, my
      Librarian and two Ankh-Morpork Collector's Edition board games.
      Realm of Legends is a fantastic space to play in. Massive tables
      lined the main area of the shop, covered in intricate models and
      landscapes. And in one corner, a medieval setting of painted grey
      bricks, with four tables ready for some Discworldly fun. We had
      chocolate. We had coffee. We had four tables. All we needed were
      some players.

      Our first game was just the committee members who were there. We
      were obviously having enough fun to entice a random passerby who
      wandered over, cried "Oh! Pratchett!" and didn't leave until the
      end of the day.

      Now we were running two games. The Librarian was eating the Easter
      eggs. An actually invited guest joined us. More committee members
      and a writer from the Wossname email newsletter turned up. By the
      time we were in full swing, we had three tables full of mayhem.

      In one turn, one competitor chuckled with true evil intent and then
      stood up to play his turn (the chairs are REALLY low to the ground).
      He played his entire hand in one go, paused, and then played a card
      that allowed him to swap his hand with another player. "But you
      didn't give me any cards!" she said. "I know!" he said, gleefully*.
      He played two cards from her hand and sat back, hands behind his
      head and a smug expression on his face. The next player looked
      glumly at her empty hand, picked up five cards and nodded to the
      next player.

      In the end, committee member Sally won the golden turtle necklace
      for most wins. Everybody else went away happy, full of chocolate,
      with their own little silver turtle necklaces and Nullus bookmarks.
      Most of us spent altogether too much money on gaming gear, mugs and

      The second round is to be played on the 6th May, still at Realm of
      Legends. See http://www.facebook.com/NullusAnxietasIV/ for more

      *I know that you shouldn't use adverbs, but it fit so well in this


      [Editor's note: Actually, that should be "you shouldn't *over-use*
      adverbs". Just saying.]

      And the next round:

      Ankh-Morpork Tournament II – Revenge of the Meople!

      Again, we are at Realm of Legends,
      (190/198 Mt. Dandenong rd, Croydon, Vic)
      Time: 11-4
      Cost: Gold-Coin Donation
      Date: 6/05/2012


      Guards! Guards! The Board Game
      An Alternative Take
      by Danny

      I wanted to offer an alternative take on the Guards! Guards! board
      game as a slight counterpoint to the reviews by Mogg & Steven
      D'Aprano published in last month's WOSSNAME. We have only had the
      chance to play the game twice, but it is definitely a game that
      becomes quite fun once everyone playing has a basic handle on the
      rules and the various parts of game play.

      As noted in the previous reviews, Guards! Guards! is quite complex
      and complicated – you need to have patient players who are prepared
      to read the rule books in advance to try and get their head around
      what's required. That being said, make sure you have downloaded the
      extended rules and FAQ from www.guardsguards.com as they are quite
      helpful at providing clarification, and the chart in the FAQ (from
      Dec 2011) showing what each player can do on their turn is immensely
      helpful. Considering the first edition is already sold out,
      Backspindle Games are planning to do a re-write of the rulebook
      before releasing the second edition, so with luck the new rules will
      be laid out in an easier to comprehend fashion.

      Once the big learning curve is overcome, the actual game play is
      quite fun, especially as the players begin to be nasty to one
      another. Placing saboteurs, deliberately running over someone with
      the Luggage, infecting others with the pox, and summoning dragons to
      make one section of the board virtually useless are good tactics to
      annoy and confound your fellow players, and they'll probably do the
      same back to you later.

      Our games started off fairly slow as we worked out the game
      mechanics, but by the time we were all up to our third spell run, we
      had started to become significantly nasty to each other. Eventually,
      the four player four hour game had a very close finish, with
      everyone on their final spell run, with just one player lucking out
      on the dice rolls to return their final spell.

      Here's some strategy I was planning to save for myself the next time
      I play, but I figure I'll share it here and just hope my future
      opponents have forgotten it all by the time we come to play:

      – early in the game, stick in your home quadrant and recruit as
      many volunteers as you can, and earn money from your Guild. Each
      volunteer deck has a tendency towards certain skills, so recruit
      from all three. See the Guards! Guards! website & smartphone app for
      the strongest volunteer in each skill.

      – try and build up all your player attributes (charm, magic, guild)
      as soon as you can – they will become very useful later in the
      game. They are mostly boosted by recruiting specific volunteers, so
      go out and recruit! In my second game, I was on the final spell run
      with only a Guild of 1 which meant I only had ONE chance to succeed
      the Wizard's challenge (which requires a Guild roll of 9 – thus
      meaning I needed to roll an 8 on the die). I risked it anyway, and
      never managed to get that 8 before another player won.

      – note that of the five spells you need to collect, two are on the
      opposite side of the board, one in each of the neighbouring
      quadrants, and one in your home quadrant. Leave the one in your home
      quadrant until LAST – because it'll be harder to be sabotaged on
      that final spell run, and there's fewer squares you'll need to move
      to get to the University gates.

      – Once you've returned all spells from a quadrant that isn't your
      home one, and other players still need spells there, summon a dragon
      (if you can). This makes that particular quadrant off-limits for so
      many things and the players who do need the spells from there will
      have to team up to defeat the dragon, thus delaying their actions
      for a short while.

      – Try and place a saboteur in each quadrant, and switch them around
      occasionally. Consider not sabotaging someone on an early spell run,
      saving it for later on.

      – If you've got lots of money lying around, buy items and scrolls
      and save the good ones – they can be quite useful later on,
      especially ones that prevent others from sabotaging you on a spell
      run, or allow you to move more squares that normal.

      – Don't worry too much about guild abilities, or passing on the
      pox. During our four player game, we rarely passed close enough to
      another player to warrant using these, but it was worth giving it a
      shot when the situations arose. Especially for the alchemist's
      planting of firewater, which can be amusing when it blows up.

      – Being hit by the luggage isn't all that bad – and it could be
      advantageous if you were planning to go towards the nearest hospital
      in any case!

      Bonus rules from the designers to make the game run a bit quicker:

      – Everyone starts with the first spell already returned. This
      should be one of the two from the opposite quadrant (meaning you
      have four to return, one from each quadrant)

      – In the latter stages of the game, player attributes (charm,
      magic, guild) can be bought for $10 for 1 point. This would
      definitely have helped me in my game (see above) if I'd know about
      the rule.

      If you ever get stuck on a rule interpretation, or have questions,
      contact the designers via Twitter (@guardsguards) or Facebook, I've
      found them to be very helpful and quick in responding!

      All in all, the game can be a lot of fun, but it is by no means a
      quick game to play or understand. I suspect that if the same few
      people played it often enough, then everything would proceed much
      more quickly, but when almost all players are newbies, it can take
      some time to understand the basic rules and game play.




      The Sodbury Players will be performing their production of Guards!
      Guards! in May.

      When: 16th-19th May 2012
      Time: 19:30, except for 19th May: 22:30 (hmm, bit of a late start...
      - Ed.)
      Venue: Chipping Sodbury Town Hall, Broad Street, Chipping Sodbury,
      S. Gloucestershire
      Tickets: £8 (concessions £7)
      Box Office: 0844 332 0230 or tickets@...



      The Shoestring Theatre Company will present their production of The
      truth next week!

      When: Thursday 3rd May to Saturday 5th May 2012
      Venue: Stanley Community Centre, Tyne Road, Stanley, Durham DH9 6PZ
      Time: Performances start 7:15pm
      Tickets: £5 (£4 concessions)

      For more details, email shoestringtc@... or ring 0776 675 1048



      Hayling Island Amateur Dramatic Society (HIADS) will be presenting
      Maskerade next month.

      When:Sat 19th May — Sat 26th May
      Venue: Station Theatre, Station Road, Hayling Island PO11 0EH
      Time: 7:45pm
      Tickets: £7



      Merrow Dramatic Society present their production of Mort in May.

      When: 16th-19th May 2012
      Venue: The Electric Theatre, Onslow Street, Guildford, Surrey GU1
      Time: 7.45pm (Saturday matinee 2.30pm)
      Tickets: £11.50, concessions £10.50 and all Saturday matinee
      tickets are £9.50. Buy 10 and get the 11th free!

      Box office number: 01483 444789
      Email: electrictheatre@...

      Tickets can be booked over the phone on 01483 44789 or online on the
      Electric Theatre website (a small booking charge does apply).

      "Are you an avid Discworld Fan? Then have your picture taken with
      your favourite character after the show!"



      Thinking of putting on a Terry Pratchett adaptation at your local
      am-dram society or school? Here be a guide sheet, courtesy of Colin
      Smythe, for the current channels to go through for permission...

      With immediate effect, all requests for permission to produce the
      following of Terry Pratchett's novels as adapted by Stephen Briggs,
      in English and in translation, should be sent to Stephen Briggs' and
      Terry Pratchett's agent, Colin Smythe:

      Wyrd Sisters, Mort, Guards! Guards!, Men at Arms (published by

      The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, Johnny and the Dead
      (published by Oxford University Press)

      Requests by email: cpsmythe@...

      Requests by post:
      Colin Smythe Limited
      38 Mill Lane, Gerrards Cross, Bucks SL9 8BA
      phone +44 (0)1753 886000
      fax +44 (0)1753 886469


      Nation, adapted for the stage by Mark Ravenhill, is published in two
      versions: that of the play prior to its first performance at the
      National Theatre, London, published by Corgi, and an edition for
      schools, published by Heinemann in their New Windmills series,
      publishing the revised version and with additional material for
      schools. Requests to perform either version should be sent, before
      commencement of rehearsal, to Casarotto Ramsay & Associates Ltd,
      Waverley House, 7-12 Noel Street, London W1F 8GQ. No performance
      may be given unless a licence has been obtained, and no alteration
      may be made in the title or to the text of the play without the
      author's prior written consent. Applications should be sent to:


      Other adaptations of Terry Pratchett's novels are published by
      Methuen Drama (part of A & C Black), and Samuel French. For copies
      and details of Methuen's Pratchett plays (Going Postal, Jingo,
      Monstrous Regiment, Night Watch, Interesting Times, The Fifth
      Elephant, The Truth, all adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs):


      and for their application form:

      A&C Black Publishers Ltd publish (and control licences for) the
      following Terry Pratchett musicals, adapted and with music by
      Matthew Holmes and suitable for school productions:

      The Amazing Maurice & His Educated Rodents

      Johnny & the Bomb (publishing in August 2012)

      For more information:




      In case of difficulty please contact music@...

      Samuel French publications: Making Money, Carpe Jugulum, Maskerade
      (all adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs), and Lords and Ladies
      (adapted for the stage by Irana Brown):


      To contact Samuel French:

      All companies wishing to have extra publicity for their productions
      should notify Lynsey Dalladay at Transworld, who administers the
      Terry Pratchett website; the information they supply will appear on
      the EVENTS page of the site.

      Contact: L.Dalladay@...


      General enquiries can also be sent to:



      Some lovely paper products are available on the Cunning Artificer's
      charming website!

      Choose from the like of an Igor Donor Card (£11.50), Ankh-Morpork
      Passport (£10.00), a set of Unseen Academicals Foot-the-ball Cards
      (£8.00; mounted for display, £25.00), a Thieves Guild Receipt Book
      (£9.95), marvellous Hogswatch Greeting cards (£5.00), Luggage
      Labels (£10.00), and more:




      A report from the UK Discworld Fanatics site:

      "The team at Snowgum Films have started filming the Troll Bridge at
      last. I have highlighted their progress over the past few weeks, The
      set looks amazing and the guys have been uploading more images of
      the set and and rehearsal prior to shooting as well. Earlier they
      posted on Facebook 'Rise and shine people! This bridge isn't going
      to film itself!' I bet the guys behind it thought this day would
      never come. Troll Bridge aims to be the largest scale short film in
      history. Using resources garnered over eight solid years of
      dedication, love, sweat, and tears – Troll Bridge has already
      begun exceeding expectations as to what should be anticipated from a
      short form production. With the scale of Lord of the Rings, the
      absurdity of Monty Python, and the intimacy of Into The Wild –
      Troll Bridge relishes the opportunity to present the Disc in all the
      grandeur and depth of character she deserves."


      It ate'nt the Hobbit Production Diaries, but... here be some Troll
      Bridge production iconographs. Things are looking very good indeed:


      ...and from the Snowgum gang themselves:

      "After five amazing days of shooting, principle photography for
      TROLL BRIDGE is officially wrapped! Huge love and thanks goes out to
      our amazing cast, crew and supporters! Special mention goes out to
      Inspiration Studios for their camera equipment and advice, Wicked of
      Oz Studios for graciously helping us build a whopping great bridge
      in their studio space, and Quality Theatre Supplies for making it
      possible for us to construct a stupidly huge green screen!

      "We went into this project with some pretty big aspirations – and
      we can honestly say that they have been met and exceeded in every
      way. The quality of art, performance and composition caught in the
      camera is beyond our wildest dreams, which is testament to the ever
      growing talents of our dedicated cast and crew. We really have a
      great movie here. Now excuse us while we all fall down in an
      exhausted heap. And then onwards... to post-production!"

      On the subject of the many requests for the semi-legendary Run
      Rincewind Run being made available to buy in DVD and/or Blu-Ray
      form: "If we did it (Run Rincewind Run! that is), we'd be looking
      at $30 for DVD and $40 for blu-ray). We would need to obtain the
      rights to the music, which would be the only tricky (expensive)
      thing here. We'd need to reach a certain number of confirmed
      orders before proceeding. So if you want a copy of the awesome Run
      Rincewind Run then post a comment here or on their social networking
      sites and lets see if we can convince them to make it happen..."


      ...and on the subject of donations:

      "Since completing the funding drive for Troll Bridge, we've been
      inundated with further requests to give us money to put towards the
      film. For us, we're in a conundrum. We had enough money to make the
      film when we hit $45,000 on Kickstarter. When we hit $82,000 at the
      close of the drive, we had enough money to make the film of our
      dreams. But far be it for us to convince people otherwise when cash
      is on the table. We're still in production, and as such we'll
      continue accepting contributions. We'll find a use for the money in
      Troll Bridge while we're still in a position to spend money on it
      and continue improving the quality of production. Filmmaking is
      expensive, so the sky is somewhat the limit in what we can accept
      and utilize. Refusal of such generosity at this point seems

      To donate, and for further information, go to:


      (page includes donate button)



      13.1 DWCON 2012 NEWS

      From Richard at Discworld Fanatics:

      This is the other news I wanted to mention from the DWCon
      newsletter. The reason being is there is a lot of fan art for
      Discworld and we here at Discworld Fanatics are trying to feature
      fan stuff as much as possible. So this is something that should
      interest a lot of people. Therefore, to demonstrate how varied and
      copious Discworld artists (and their art) are, the DWCON have
      arranged an Exhibition of `so-called' Fan-Art to be held at the
      2012 Discworld Convention at the Hilton Metropole Hotel, Birmingham.

      Under the guidance of my Acting Lance-Deputy Curator – Mr. Keith
      Stewart [Keith_art on his Convention badge] the exhibition is open
      to all those Convention Members who are attending and can lug their
      work along. For further details email keith:

      Works will be open to scrutiny by all the Discworld Art-lovers
      attending and every Conventioneer will have one vote to select the
      piece they feel contains the qualities the Gods would be most
      pleased with [Or whatever piece you like best]. The lucky 1st, 2nd &
      3rd placed artists will of course get the Praise of the Gods heaped
      upon them [yeah, a lousy rosette – but its better than a poke in
      the eye with a bolt of lightning!] So; Get Exited – Get Creative
      – Get lopping-yer-ear-off-artistic!'


      13.2 UU CONVIVIUM 2012 NEWS

      As the days get shorter, and the weather colder, we hope that your
      anticipation for the Unseen University Convivium is ramping up! Ours
      certainly is – to quote the Librarian – "Oook! Oook! Eeek!


      Through the magic of the Omniscope we have the fantastic opportunity
      to chat with some Discworld luminaries!

      First and foremost, the man in the hat we all want to talk to –
      Professor Sir Terry Pratchett himself! Sir Terry has kindly agreed
      to join us for a call, and we are definitely looking forward to it!

      Secondly, Professor Ian Stewart and Doctor Jack Cohen, co-authors of
      The Science Of Discworld series, will join us for an enlightening
      scientific discussion.

      Our final virtual guest is the Cunning Artificer, Bernard Pearson,
      proprietor of the Discworld Emporium and creator of artwork,
      sculptures, stamps and currency.

      Find out more about our guests (actual and virtual) at

      Many other additions and refinements of the Convivium programme have
      recently been made – find out the full details at


      Convivium Attendees have the chance to win a Deluxe Edition of the
      "Ankh-Morpork" board game valued at $150, kindly donated by Treefrog

      All you have to do to enter is purchase tickets or merchandise by
      *MAY 15TH!* Every purchase gets you more entries into the prize

      Full details on the competition are available at


      As the Convivium approaches, so does the closing date for certain

      * Tickets to Gaudy Night can only be purchased up to JUNE 1ST. They
      will not be available *at all* after this date, so if you wish to
      attend our gala dinner, now is the time to buy!

      Info: http://ausdwcon.org/pages/gala_dinner
      Tickets: http://ausdwcon.org/gala_tickets/new

      * The exclusive Convivium attendees-only t-shirt and scarf can only
      be ordered up to JUNE 6TH. They will not be available to order *at
      all* after this date.


      * Winery and Gourmet Tour tickets are available online until JUNE
      22ND. However, places are quickly running out, so get in fast to
      secure your seat!

      Info: http://ausdwcon.org/pages/tours
      Tickets: http://ausdwcon.org/tours_tickets/new

      * And of course, the Convivium Tickets for the entire convention are
      available online until JUNE 22ND. After this date, you may be able
      to buy at the door (depending on attendee limits), but it will cost
      extra to do so.

      Info: http://ausdwcon.org/pages/membership
      Tickets: http://ausdwcon.org/memberships/new


      If you would like to discuss things and stuff with other fans,
      please head over to our forums at http://ausdwcon.org/forums
      You can also keep up to date by using social media:
      UUC: http://twitter.com/UnseenUni http://facebook.com/UnseenUni
      NA4: http://twitter.com/NullusAnxietas4

      Yours academically,

      The Faculty
      Unseen University Convivium
      University of Adelaide, July 6-8, 2012

      Editor's note: re Nullus Anxietas IV in 2013, there's currently a
      Bands With Rocks In album covers competition. Do join in:


      13.3 WADFEST 2013 NEWS

      Those of you who got April Fooled by the Wadfest site might want to
      check back: there's no longer any sign of ~cough cough~ boy
      wizards, but there *is* a zombie apocalypse! That's the theme of
      next year's Wadfest, "After the Apocalypse", 11th-13th August 2013
      at the usual Trentfield site. The weekend (a provisional date, as
      it's so far off, but still already bookable) will feature "Fun and
      Games for all the family, Live Thud, Walking Masquerade, Talent
      Contest, Decorated Tent Competition, Smack the Penguin, Zombie Game,
      Hunt the Haggis, and lots more for both Children and Adults".

      Event tickets include entry and camping site for the weekend and are
      £35 per adult. To purchase ahead:


      For more information and updates, visit the Wadfest forum:



      13.4 NOTFEST!

      "The unofficial summer camping event for Discworld and Sci-fi fans
      everywhere – will be held weekend of 10th -12th August 2012 at
      Trentfield farm campsite, Church Laneham, Notts.

      "Just to clear up any unfounded rumours that people may have – all
      of the regular Wadfestians simply didnt want to miss out on our
      annual camping holiday so in the course of the usual drunken chats
      at last year's Wadfest we decided that we would all go and camp
      anyway and just have a holiday with like-minded friends.

      "We have Waddy's blessing and in no way, shape or form are we trying
      to "organise" anything – Waddy has said he may even come along. As
      it isn't an official event – and there are two fields at Trentfield
      – John – the owner – said we should have a name that we all
      book under so he can ensure he puts us on the same field and the
      name we came up with was "Notfest"

      "Friday 10th -Sunday 12th August are the dates – don't forget to
      book under the "Notfest" name so we are all put in same field!"

      To Book:



      13.5 2014 EASTERCON

      Sir Terry Pratchett will be the guest of honour for the 2014
      Eastercon. Eastercon 2014 will be held from 18th – 21st April
      2014, Crowne Plaza Hotel, Glasgow:


      "Eastercon is the annual British National Science Fiction
      Convention. It has been held over the Easter weekend every year
      since 1955. Before 1955 it was usually held over the Whitsun
      weekend. Eastercon attracts 800-1,200 fans of Science Fiction,
      Fantasy and similar genres. Programme events usually include a fancy
      dress competition, an Art Show, a large Dealers Room selling books
      and other items, panels, quizzes, workshops, competitions and talks.
      Items range from hard science through writing workshops to the fun
      and silly. People are encouraged to take part."



      "The next Discworld event in our calendar will be on the 5th and 6th
      May 2012 in our hometown, Wincanton. This event is cosier and more
      relaxed than our Hogswatch weekends, but is nonetheless bursting
      with active ingredients and Pratchetty goodness to keep the
      Discworld fan energised and enlightened! In a tenuous tribute to
      this year's forthcoming Roundworld events, the Spring Fling shall
      curtsey to the Queen's Jubilee and, er, squat thrust to the Olympics
      with a Mr Shine Him Diamond/Gods theme. May trolls and deities




      The City of Small Gods Terry Pratchett Fan Club meets on the last
      Thursday of the month from 6.30pm at the Ed Castle, 233 Currie St,
      Adelaide (South Australia). Details, discussions and organisation of
      extra events (such as play outings) are held on their email mailing
      list, so do sign up at:



      The next meeting of the Broken Drummers, London's original Discworld
      meeting group, will be from 7pm on 30th April 2012 at the Monkey
      Puzzle, 30 Southwick Street, London W2 1JQ.



      Drummers Downunder meet on the first Monday of every month in Sydney
      at Maloneys, corner of Pitt & Goulburn Streets, at 6.30pm. For more
      information, contact Sue (aka Granny Weatherwax):



      Perth Drummers meet on the traditional date of first Monday of the
      month, from 6pm at The Vic Hotel, 226 Hay St, Subiaco. For more
      information contact:

      Daniel Hatton at daniel_j_hatton@...



      "Why Gandalf Never Married", a Terry Pratchett essay originally
      delivered as a speech at Novacon 15 in 1985 and republished with
      permission on the web, is a fascinating ramble covering magic,
      fantasy, women in fantasy, and yes, sex:

      "While I was plundering the fantasy world for the next cliche to
      pulls a few laughs from, I found one which was so deeply ingrained
      that you hardly notice it is there at all. In fact it struck me so
      vividly that I actually began to look at it seriously. That's the
      generally very clear division between magic done by women and magic
      done by men... Sorceress? Just a better class of witch. Enchantress?
      Just a witch with good legs. The fantasy world. in fact, is overdue
      for a visit from the Equal Opportunities people because, in the
      fantasy world, magic done by women is usually of poor quality,
      third-rate, negative stuff, while the wizards are usually cerebral,
      clever, powerful, and wise. Strangely enough, that's also the case
      in this world. You don't have to believe in magic to notice that.
      Wizards get to do a better class of magic, while witches give you

      "[Wizards are] all bachelors, and sexually continent. In this
      fantasy is in agreement with some of the standard works on magic,
      which make it clear that a good wizard doesn't get his end away.
      (Funny, because there's no such prohibition on witches; they can be
      at it like knives the whole time and it doesn't affect their magic
      at all.) Wizards tend to exist in Orders, or hierarchies, and
      certainly the Island of Gont reminds me of nothing so much as a
      medieval European university, or maybe a monastery. There don't seem
      to be many women around the University, although I suppose someone
      cleans the lavatories. There are indeed some female practitioners of
      magic around Earthsea, but if they are not actually evil then they
      are either misguided or treated by Ged in the same way that a Harley
      Street obstetrician treats a local midwife. Can you imagine a girl
      trying to get a place at the University of Gont? Or I can put it
      another way – can you imagine a female Gandalf..."

      from http://www.ansible.co.uk/misc/tpspeech.html



      Now here's an interesting instance of book classification, brought
      to you by C.N.A. Bookshop, Bedford Centre, Johannesburg:


      The webcomic "Non Sequitur" offers a dilemma familiar to all readers
      of a certain Lancre Witches novel:

      http://tinyurl.com/78x92hr (click to enlarge)

      On Paul Kidby's Facebook page, a series of iconographs showing the
      Dodger cover art in progress:




      Probably not as melodic as Agnes Nitt's chord-singing, but still
      Gyuto monks are capable of producing chord-like tones:

      "Spectral analysis of a segment of the chord-like tone shows the
      individual harmonics of the sound as multiples of the fundamental
      frequency, and indicates that the spacing between the harmonics is
      about 63 Hz. The harmonics at 315 and 630 Hz are accentuated,
      showing that the first and second formants are centered at these




      From Steven:

      One of the most interesting things about Night Watch, in my opinion,
      is how good people (or at least not entirely bad people) can end up
      doing bad things: police brutality is more often due to fear,
      confusion, failure of leadership, and generally screwing things up
      than due to nastiness.

      The recent pepper-spray incident at UC Davis is a good example. Lt
      Pike of the UC Davis police department[1] became an Internet meme
      of a "bad cop" for pepper-spraying peaceful protesters in the face
      as they sat quietly on the pavement. Well, the University's report
      is in, and it seems that Pike made a bad decision after being given
      bad orders from superiors who basically screwed up every way they
      possibly could.

      The only people here who didn't do anything wrong were, surprise
      surprise, the protesters.


      Pike apparently is feeling rather put out that he's being hung out to
      dry as a "bad apple" by the police and university when the blame
      actually went all the way to the head of the university.

      I wonder what Vimes would have done?

      A reply from Bobby, the Master of B-space:

      Order Carrot to ask the protesters to leave and come back tomorrow,
      and point out to the head of the university that the protesters are
      breaking no laws by their actions and that the orders he's been
      given are illegal in and of themselves. Depending on his mood he
      might even try to arrest the head of the university.



      Blogger Pokist reviews Mort:

      "This is the kind of book that you read for fun. Not the 'Oh, I find
      this so fascinating'-way but in the laughing way. Terry
      Pratchett's books about the Discworld (it's a series that you
      can read independent of the order, so don't hesitate) and I would
      recommend it if your into the humorous and amusing books. It's a
      relief to read these kind of books once in a while, I really felt
      like it this week and I'm pretty satisfied with my choice. I've
      read a lot of books about the Discworld before, and although it was
      a very long time ago since last time, I enjoyed it. It was a
      splendid combobreaker after I've read all these serious books that
      bring up social problems and unfairness. So thank you Terry
      Pratchett, for making my week a little happier..."


      Blogger Lizbeth reviews Small Gods:

      "You shouldn't read it if you don't want a different view of
      religion, or if you are uncomfortable reading about violence (there
      is rather a lot in this book, unfortunately). It is a novel of
      Discworld (a flat world on the back of a turtle, where the
      unexpected is expected — adapted from the back of the book). If
      you are familiar with Discworld, Small Gods might be surprising —
      it is not about the large city of Ankh-Morpork, or the mountains
      around the Hub. It is a story of the desert, and of a god... Almost
      every page has a quotable sentence or two, or more. It really makes
      you think about organized religion..."


      Blogger wherethebodiesare reluctantly admits to being a huge
      Pratchett fan, and reviews Guards! Guards!:

      "Like many of Pratchett's books, reducing the plot to mere
      synopsis would do very little to encourage you to read the novel
      itself. Suffice it to say that the dragon is summoned to act as a
      WMD for a Freemason-esque sect intent on returning the city to a
      monarchy and that their plan succeeds beyond their wildest
      nightmares. The joy here is not so much in the story, though that
      most certainly satisfies as a `whodunnit', but in the exuberant
      characterisation and the gleeful wit. A self-avowed mystery fan,
      Pratchett takes great delight in playing with the clichés and
      conventions of the crime genre, amongst many other things. Parody
      and allusion zing past at a startling rate and there is a definite
      need for a second, slower reading to pick up on all Pratchett is
      doing here. He is an astonishingly clever writer, yet rare perhaps
      for that breed, an incredibly human one at the same time. Never do
      his insights into the human condition take the easy turn into
      misanthropy and there is always laughter here, even if it is
      laughter in the dark..."


      Blogger Matt reviews Thud! – the game, that is:

      "Trolls are much easier to play as at first. Dwarfs require more
      planning and the willingness to sacrifice a dwarf for the greater
      good. Dwarfs want to create phalanxes of dwarfs to protect from all
      sides, while trolls move against undefended dwarfs and take them out
      quickly and risk-free. It's a fun game, but it's kind of rare,
      so it's hard to find anyone to play against... I guess I'd
      recommend it for fans of fantasy, especially Terry Pratchett, who
      also like chess-like board games. If you're really into board
      games, you'll probably like it either way..."


      Blogger Ginna adores Tiffany Aching:

      "Long before Disney's Tangled made it popular, Tiffany Aching was
      hitting things with frying pans. (She was only nine at the time.)
      Tiffany is one of my absolute favorite characters ever created ever
      anywhere in the universe amen. She is pragmatic to a fault, prone to
      grumpiness, hilariously astute. And, even if they don't realize
      it, she is exactly what the people of the Chalk need. She may not be
      thrilled with her new job title (especially since there is a decided
      lack of wands and potions and easy-way-outs), but Tiffany does what
      she must, because if she doesn't, who will? Being a witch on the
      Chalk isn't easy. People look at you differently when you're
      wearing that pointed hat. And when you take the hat off, they still
      know: you're the witch. Tiffany is forever set apart, forever the
      'them' to her neighbors' 'us.' She must see the world
      before it puts on its face in the morning, be part of what goes on
      behind closed doors in the evening, and accept the un-magical,
      harsh, beautiful reality of life, all while pulling the strings that
      others don't even know are there. Still, Tiffany rolls up her
      sleeves and dons that pointy hat with love. Because that's who
      Tiffany is.."


      Blogger Marie G Cannon, writes about her "Discworld inspiration from
      Senate House Library":

      "Senate House Library has a wonderful history and and many, many
      rare and special books in its collection... I saw many wonderful
      books during my time there, including first editions of Charles
      Dickens and Virginia Woolf, signed works of Oscar Wilde and Karl
      Marx and some of the earliest (and most beautifully illuminated)
      printed books in the entire world from the 15th century among many,
      many others. However, the highlight of my stay was viewing the Terry
      Pratchett collection, and it was this that inspired the name of my
      blog, the 'Unseen University Librarian'. Colin Smythe, who was Terry
      Pratchett's agent, has very generously donated first editions of
      most (if not all) of the Discworld novels, and not only in the
      English language, but in every language they were ever published in!
      Even more exciting is that Colin Smythe also donated all kinds of
      weird and wonderful Discworld memorabilia, including computer games,
      cartoons on VHS, mugs, keyrings, candles, board games, figurines ,
      ornaments and even bottles of 'Ridcully's Revenge' beer..."


      Blogger Tom Clementson reviews tCoM:

      "You've likely seen similar characters from other books,
      television and movies but Pratchett takes the classic comedy duo and
      firmly plants them in a fantasy world that is over the top
      hilarious. Rincewind and Twoflower are Discworld's Costanza and
      Kramer with supporting characters who run the gambit of
      personalities. You'll meet the brainless, brawny Hrun and the
      tenacious, terrifying luggage; that's right, a seemingly living
      piece of luggage with legs and an uncanny willingness toward
      violence... Character growth, mixed with the multitude of laughable
      moments provides smiles from beginning to end. Rincewind is layered
      like an onion; cowardly and almost indifferent in the beginning but
      certainly altered for the better as he learns the value of
      friendship... Pay close attention to Pratchett's humorous pokes at
      our view of traditional fantasy, religion and social norms that lace
      neatly within the plot. Color of Magic is easily a family read with
      enough mature comedy that adults will absolutely love this story's


      Blogger gnasler reviews tCoM too:

      "I sort of expected one story, one plot, one quest or something of
      the sorts, but this book is actually, if I'm not mistaken, a
      collection of shorter stories that all have the same main characters
      and which happen in order. It's not a bad thing – it just took
      me by surprise when I read it and it somehow muddled up my reading
      experience a bit because I read it as one thing while it was
      another... Really, the writing, the humour, and the characters did
      most for me during the reading of this. The writing is highly
      engaging, twisting and turning and all over the places – the
      descriptions are vivid and unique, the humour I've already
      applauded and the characters are really good fun. There isn't a
      fantasy cliche that Pratchett hasn't turned into something funny
      and original..."


      At Blogcritics, Richard Marcus offers a long, detailed and very
      insightful review of the Going Postal DVD:

      "I'm not an initiate of Pratchett's Discworld, the who knows how
      many books the author has written set in a fantastical world
      populated by creatures from all corners of the magical universe. But
      I have read a couple of his books and liked his humour and sense of
      the absurd. You only have to read one or two in the series to
      appreciate the amazing amount of detail that's gone into creating
      the reality the books are set in. If you can picture a Victorian era
      with a strange mixture of magic and technology populated by
      vampires, werewolves, mortals, dwarfs, and all the others you'd
      associate with tales of imagination and fantasy, then you can begin
      to imagine the difficulties a filmmaker faces bringing it to life...

      "While the people behind the production have done a wonderful job of
      creating the world in which the story takes place and created a
      script, with the aid of Terry Pratchett, that allows the story to
      unfold without feeling rushed or forced, its the acting that really
      carries the show. You'll never find more unlikely romantic leads as
      the characters of Moist and Adora, but Richard Coyle and Claire Foy
      do brilliant jobs of bringing them to life. Foy's characterization
      is especially well done as she captures both the tough shell Adora
      has put up to protect herself from being hurt after her family is
      ruined and the vulnerability beneath it... David Suchet does a
      beautiful job of making Reacher Gilt the type of character you love
      to hate. He manages to take his characterization right to the edge
      of overacting, but never crosses the line. As a result he is
      delightfully creepy - his smile alone is a thing of absolute
      beauty/evil guaranteed to make your skin crawl. The wonderful thing
      about Going Postal is you don't have to be an aficionado of Terry
      Pratchett's work to enjoy this adaptation...



      20) CLOSE

      And as April's "shoures" give way to the merrie month of May, that's
      all for now. We'll be back very soon with your monthly Discworld
      Horoscope. Many thanks to this month's contributors!

      Don't touch that dial...

      – Annie Mac


      The End. If you have any questions or requests, write:
      Copyright (c) 2012 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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