WOSSNAME -- March 2011 -- Special Early Edition
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
SPECIAL EARLY EDITION
March 2011 (Volume 14, Issue 3, post 1)
01) EDITOR'S LETTER
02) UPDATE FROM SIR PTERRY...
03) ..WHO'S ALSO LOOKING TO CATCH SOME MURDERERS
04) SHROVETIDE FOOTBALL: PTERRY APPROVES
01) A VERY SHORT LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR...
Oops the calendar refused to cooperate this week! Below are
several hot or date-related items that came in too late to make
the February edition. Read on...
Annie Mac, Editor
02) UPDATE FROM THE MASTER
"Good Omens, Australia, Madison & Prague"
March 1st 2011
There has been a long time between updates, mostly because since
early November life has been extremely hectic. A large part of that
month being mostly spent clearing snow. And then, for some reason,
Christmas seemed twice as long as any other Christmas, but enjoyable
nevertheless. And now, since our schedule is always pretty full, the
world in general believing that the time of an author is expandable,
we have run into a kind of gridlock with far too many obligations
and not enough days in the year.
However, Snuff, with Commander Vimes of the City Watch as the main
character, is now with the copy editor and I have finished our next
documentary with the BBC, which has also required our major
involvement since October. We have answered as much mail as we can
and as I sit here I see a huge pile of stuff that we will have to
work through over the next few weeks, while desperately trying to
make progress on my part of the Long Earth.
There has been one hell of a lot of rumours regarding a Good Omens
adaptation over the past few weeks, mostly started by me at the SFX
Weekender. So, ladies and gentleman, I can hereby exclusively reveal
that YES Neil and myself have shaken hands and received groats
from Rod Brown sealing a TV deal. An official announcement from
Prime Focus will follow in a couple of weeks time. However, I can
reveal right now that Terry Jones (yes, the Python) and Gavin Scott
(not a Python, but he gets it) are already on the job. It's been a
long time coming, but it's looking good.
A word about conventions; unless something reasonably disastrous
happens, Rob and I will be attending the Australian convention in
April and I will be doing other engagements in Oz and New Zealand.
I believe that an event advertised in Melbourne has already sold
out, in fact, even before we knew the details and I am still unsure
of the dates of the one in Sydney, although I do know that it will
be at the Opera House. PLEASE do not ask us for tickets! We do not
have any! We do not know what they look like! And we wait, with
bated breath, whether they will actually let us in.
Again, the second North American convention looks likely, but again,
health considerations, acts of god (okay, random fluctuations in the
space/time continuum) and Icelandic dust clouds permitting. We
intend to get around that by driving to the convention don't
ask, but it's going to be fun.
I know there are going to be smaller conventions in Germany,
Holland, Ireland and I've even heard a rumour of one in Spain.
Fortuitously, I will be able (health blah blah blah permitting) to
attend the second Irish convention because it is just after a
professorial engagement at Trinity College Dublin. I know this will
mean an overdose of Guinness, but one has to suffer for his art.
I cannot guarantee attendance at any of the other smaller
conventions, simply because no matter what size a convention is, it
still pretty much takes up the same amount of my time and there are
so many calls on it, least of which involves writing books, that I
can't go everywhere. Sorry! But I am not the first person to say
that I think it a good idea if people put their heads together and
organised a pan-European convention, which would probably be a lot
more fun and attract a lot more fans. As it is, we've just returned
from a whistle-stop visit to Prague to see the final performance of
Makaráda at the Dlouhé theatre. It was absolutely superb and I
am hoping that it really wasn't the last one.
We know this doesn't work but we continue to repeat it even though
no one ever takes any notice. PLEASE we would rather you did not
send your own books for signing as we've said time and again,
signed books are available HERE:
Especially difficult are things sent with a deadline, such as
'please sign this for my husband, whose birthday is next Thursday'
which has been posted second class on Tuesday (you would be
amazed...). Also, Never assume the author is at home or even in the
country, although he might be wishing that he was. And PLEASE do not
argue or try to negotiate with us over this.
I have heard that Professor Roy Jones, Director of the RICE Centre
for the past twenty five years and also my Alzheimer's specialist,
is celebrating by running the Bath half marathon. RICE has been the
recipient of the goodwill of many fannish occasions and they can
always do with more. God help him, but Roy's job is to work out if I
am normal or not! Please follow us and take a look at his JustGiving
More from me very soon.
(signed) Terry Pratchett
To read the original message on the web, go to:
03) BOOSTING THE REWARD TO CATCH SWAN KILLERS
From BBC News:
"Author Sir Terry Pratchett has added £10,000 to a reward to help
catch the killer of 31 swans in Somerset. Sir Terry, who lives in
Wiltshire, said he was 'incensed at the news' [and] added: 'It's
wanton destruction of a living creature. People who do this sort of
thing to an animal are probably a danger to people as well...'
"The wildlife rescue group Secret World described finding the eight
shot birds on 22 February as "one of the worst incidents" it had
ever dealt with. The birds had been shot in the head with airgun
pellets. One of the swans which survived an earlier attack is still
recovering at Secret World's centre in East Huntspill. Secret World
said contributions to the reward, leading to the conviction of those
responsible, were coming in from all over the country..."
From This is the West Country:
"Three people originally stumped up £10,500 between them after
being disgusted by the shootings... Now, the reward has reached
more than £20,000 after fantasy writer Terry Pratchett expressed
his shock at the killings. A further ten swans were found dead in
Wedmore this week, bringing the total now to 31. Pauline Kidner,
Secret World founder, told the Weekly News: 'It is hard to
understand why anyone would do such a callous thing. The only thing
that we had hoped was that death would have been fairly
instantaneous as they all appeared to have been killed by someone
who was quite a good marksman, but the x-rays told us otherwise. A
lot of swans foraging on crops can cause a lot of damage, but there
is no excuse for such cruelty. What makes matters worse is that some
of the swans may well have been ones that we worked so hard to save
from the ice over the Christmas period...'"
Secret World is asking anyone with information to contact them on
"Novelist Terry Pratchett has helped more than DOUBLE the bounty on
offer to catch the cruel person responsible for killing 31 swans
rocketing the reward up past £25,000... The wealthy OBE dipped into
his deep pockets and added £10,000 to the £10,500 collection on
offer to catch and prosecute the swan sniper. But the reward had
shot past £25,500 today other donations from wildlife groups and
"Mr[sic] Pratchett exploded today: 'I heard the reward was £10,500
and decided I wanted to make it rather larger than that. 20,000. If
you steal something then you are just doing something that the
Government does but this is idiotic and cruel they are just
swans for god's sake. They just swim around looking beautiful. Part
of me thinks that if they get caught they will get some sort of
community service order but I'm hoping for something a little
more medieval than that. Someone has got to show that we are not
going to stand for this sort of thing. It's not a scrap in the
street someone is shooting these great swans for a bit of fun.
It's wanton destruction and I want to see somebody in court for
From the Daily Mail:
"Wildlife workers yesterday found ten more murdered swans near
Wedmore and offered £10,500 to help catch the swan killer. But
after Pratchett doubled the reward, and several more members of the
public offered money, the total amount on offer stood at £26,000...
Pratchett, 62, said: 'Nobody understands why this is happening. I'm
at a loss, but I certainly don't think someone should be walking
around shooting swans. I phoned up this morning and said "this is
terrible", I was absolutely incensed... I will be following this
case with interest and I'm sure the RSPCA will be taking it very
seriously, as will I.'
"The money will be offered to anyone who comes forward with
information that leads to a successful prosecution... Sarah Cowen,
animal care manager at Secret World, said: 'It's amazing to see that
people are so enraged about the killings that they are coming
forward and donating very large sums of money. It's always difficult
with cases like this to get people to talk. If someone is carrying
out this action they are not likely to be a very nice people and
others might be afraid of retribution, but this might make someone
more willing to come forward.'
"The reward fund was started by Phil New, 53, who lives in nearby
Highbridge. He said: 'It takes a lot to put a tear in my eye but
what happened here has achieved that.' The RSPCA said it is already
investigating the first incident and are able to prosecute..."
04) PTERRY SUPPORTS TRADITIONAL FOOT-THE-BALL IN ROUNDWORLD
Readers of the Ashbourne News Telegraph must be pleased to hear that
Sir Pterry is a supporter of Shrovetide Football:
"Internationally renowned author, Sir Terry Pratchett pledged his
support for the Royal Shrovetide football game in an exclusive
interview with the News Telegraph last week. In a scathing dismissal
of the health and safety regulations which have to be observed in
the modern game, Sir Terry said: 'I would come and stand side by
side with you if they ever tried to stop something like this... It's
a good example of a good old British tradition.' The comments from
Sir Terry were welcomed by the Shrovetide committee last week.
Secretary, Mick Betteridge, said: 'We are enormously pleased to know
that Sir Terry Pratchett gave his full support to the game and the
continuance and furtherance of the same. There are constraints when
you're playing a medieval game in the 21st Century...'"
By the way...here's a link to a photo that to my mind at least is
exactly what Harry King, Ankh-Morpork's "King of the Golden River",
and his missus would look like. Appropriately, it's haulage magnate
Lindsay Fox and *his* wife. Fox, a seriously wealthy businessman who
owns most of the commercial lorries in Australia, is like Harry
very much a self made man:
And now it's back to normal for WOSSNAME. See you at the other end
of the month and don't forget the pancakes next Tuesday!
The End. If you have any questions or requests, write:
Copyright (c) 2011 by Klatchian Foreign Legion