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WOSSNAME -- September 2010 -- Part 5 of 6

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  • granny_tude
    WOSSNAME -- September 2010 -- Part 5 of 6 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 5 -- HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED, AND LATE
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 27 5:46 AM
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      WOSSNAME -- September 2010 -- Part 5 of 6 (continued)
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      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      ====Part 5 -- HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED, AND LATE BREAKING NEWS

      22) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE, AUG > MAR
      23) LATE BREAKING NEWS
      24) CLOSE

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      27) YOUR MONTHLY DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE AUG > MAR

      The Celestial Parsnip  24 Aug - 23 Sept

      Snippies, it is said that some people seek fame, some seize it, and
      some spend their time avoiding it. Fernando suspects that your
      celebrity is of the third group, for he is Lord Vetinari, Patrician
      of the city, and perhaps the silentest, least publicity-seeking
      celebrity in Ankh-Morpork. But Fernando knows that it is the
      Patrician's very aloofness when it comes to the publicity that makes
      him so intriguing to the people and to Snippies in particular. What
      is his Lordship's relationship with the vampire Lady Margolotta? Is
      it true that Vetinari is the vampire himself? Why is he not married?
      What secrets could his little dog Mr Fusspot tell? The enquiring
      minds want to know, and the stars tell Fernando that there are none
      more enquiring than the Snippies.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars 24 Sept - 23 Oct

      Boring'uns, you can feel the molto fortunate for the stars say that
      your celebrity is Fernando's personal friend, the great opera diva
      Christine. And what a celebrity she is! Fernando knows that
      Christine's entire life is the opera. This is why she was seen at
      the last Patrician's Ball last month with the mysterious handsome
      stranger who did not say the word all evening – Fernando can tell
      you know that this man was, in fact, not the man at all but the
      Queen of Sto Lat in disguise. Fernando also knows that the A-M Opera
      House is about to announce the lead for "Die kleine Wurst", and
      whatever the result, the stars say that the rivalry between
      Christine and Dame Carrie di Comatose will not be settled.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Androgyna Majestis  24 Oct - 22 Nov

      Andies, the stars have told Fernando that your celebrity is the
      professional raconteur and clothes-horse Beau Gabble. Fernando knows
      that Gabble considers himself quite the wit, although some people
      think he is only half right. But whatever you think of him, there is
      no doubt that he has become the darling of the social scene, even
      after the disasterous attempt to take a boating holiday down the
      Ankh River last summer with his fat friend George and the dog
      Jerome. My friends, Fernando is sure that you are looking forward to
      seeing what fashions Gabble will next start, as is Fernando himself.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Spoons, a.k.a. the Greater and Lesser Spoons, 23 Nov - 21 Dec

      Spooners, your celebrity is not one, but two, the great wrestling
      rivals Gentleman Harry Hoggart, the Prid of Ankh, and the Scourge of
      the Shades himself, Mike Savage, the Monster of Morpork. Fernando
      hardly need mention that the rivalry between these two goes far
      beyond the squared circle, ever since last month when Savage hit
      Hoggart on the head with Hoggart's own manager, Colonel Diamond
      Dibbler, to win the Ankh-Morpork Heavyweight Championship. Both men
      have made it their business to turn up at the other's every public
      appearance to taunt their rival. Fernando has been counting, and so
      far five restaurants, two music halls and a petting zoo for the
      small childrens have been wrecked, and the Watch has ordered that
      the next time they try fighting outside the ring they can try their
      luck against a couple of golem officers. Fernando has consulted the
      stars, and they say that so evenly matched are these two men that
      their rematch next month will only be decided by dirty tricks and
      cheating. Somehow Fernando is not surprised.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Hoki the Jokester  22 Dec - 20 Jan

      Hokians, your celebrity is the famous Dwarf who sprang onto the
      fashion scene a year ago, the micro-mail model Jewels. My friends,
      Fernando knows that there have been the cruel rumours about Jewels
      in some of the less reputable magazines. Fernando does not intend to
      repeat these scurriloso rumours, but let Fernando assure you that he
      has consulted with the stars and there is no doubt that Jewels is
      the true Dwarf, even if she is a little taller than usual for a
      Dwarf, the molto excellente beard is her own (not that Fernando has
      anything against the chin-wig for the Dwarf mens and womens who
      cannot grown their own) and there is absolutely no truth to the
      rumour about her and the duck. Fernando stakes his reputation on
      this.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Rather Large Gazunda  21 Jan - 18 Feb

      Gazundians, the stars have told Fernando that your celebrity is the
      Archchancellor of Brazeneck University, a true giant of a man!
      Fernando knows that during his time at Unseen University, the former
      Dean saved Ankh-Morpork from the Things from the Dungeon Dimensions
      nearly as often as he ate the hot meal, and let Fernando tell you
      that the Archchancellor is a man who likes his meals hot, piled
      high, and frequent. My friends, as the patriotic Morporkian,
      Fernando knows that you are the saddened that this true hero has
      left UU for Brazeneck, but do not be the jealous of Brazeneck's good
      fortune, for greatness knows no national boundaries. Fernando has a
      cousin who has for sale the genuine edition, very rare, mint
      condition cigarette card with the Archchancellor casting the
      fireball at the giant chicken. Send Fernando the c-mail message if
      you are interested.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Lesser Umbrage   19 Feb - 20 Mar

      Umbragians, the stars tell Fernando that the Mistress Weatherwax of
      Lancre is the most powerful of the witches, but she is not your
      celebrity! Mistress Weatherwax cannot be having with people writing
      about her, and not even "News of the Disc" would dare cross her. And
      so Fernando is pleased to tell you that your celebrity is the great
      lady Gytha Ogg herself. Fernando is the full of the admiration for
      the molto famous Witch of Lance, Nanny Ogg, who has written the many
      books like The Joye of Snacks, Nanny Ogg's Cookbook, Mother Ogg's
      Tales For Tiny Folk, and Memoirs of a Lancre Witch (available in the
      plain cover for the gentlemens over the age of 30). Fernando is
      sorry that he is too young to have met Missus Ogg when she was a
      chased young witch in Lancre, for he knows that she would grab life
      with both hands, shake it about, and see what comes out. Much like
      Fernando himself.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      23) LATE BREAKING NEWS

      ...or in this case, reviews. I Shall Wear Midnight is getting
      attention at all levels of the world of books and readers.

      A review by the Book Aunt:

      "Compared to Pratchett's other books, this one has a bit of a slow
      start, but then, Pratchett's worst is still head and shoulders above
      most writers' best. Although the man is known for his humor, I'm in
      awe of his ability to create characters that matter, and to talk
      about the human condition by telling amazing stories. One way of
      looking at all four books is as an account of Tiffany's coming-of-
      age. But we sometimes see simple stories along those lines, and
      Tiffany's is complicated. For instance, I Shall Wear Midnight has
      thought-provoking things to say about romance, even though at first
      glance, this may seem like a minor theme..."

      http://tinyurl.com/2f6n52c


      ...and by Alice Wybrew in Total SciFi Online:

      "Young Adult though it may be, Tiffany's final solo adventure
      addresses domestic violence, teenage pregnancy and suicide; hard-
      hitting subjects that hammer home life in the adult world. In true
      Pratchett style, these topics are deftly handled, allowing for
      humour where you least expect it but without undermining the
      seriousness of such themes. Despite Tiffany's vast experiences of
      the world, her teenage side resonates in her feelings towards
      Roland, his fiancé Letitia, and the guard Preston. Such moments
      keep the book both lighthearted and grounded, and, along with
      Tiffany's outsider status, articulate why this title will work
      well for its younger demographic. .."

      http://totalscifionline.com/reviews/5511-i-shall-wear-midnight


      YA author Marianne de Pierres posted in Jamie Reviews:

      "The novel itself is the fourth in the Pratchett's Tiffany Aching
      series. And, true to form, as the main character grows, so does the
      complexity of the story. Tiffany is now being sixteen years of age
      and the only witch living on the Chalk. There is an underlying feel
      to this book of a youth cut short in favour of responsibility; but,
      as this is based more on personal choice than obligation, it lacks
      the accompanying melancholy that would usually follow such a
      theme... Once started, this novel is difficult to put down. There is
      plentiful comedy, be it rather dark for the most part, and a
      narrative that keeps driving the reader forward..."

      http://tinyurl.com/24bktt2


      ...and Jonathan Wright did the honours in SFX Magazine:

      "If this sounds rather solemn, then rest assured that around this
      central narrative, Pratchett's trademark humour is as much in
      evidence as ever. In part, that means the usual outings for gags
      purloined from the music hall era... But that doesn't mean the
      book lacks depth and resonance. A key central image that runs though
      the novel, for instance, is drawn from Pratchett's own childhood,
      while the Chalk setting vividly brings to mind the southern England
      landscape where the writer has made his home. Most of all there's
      the sense that Pratchett understands village life down to the core
      of his being – its rhythms, its joys and its considerable
      frustrations too. If you wanted to be ultra-critical, you might say
      that Tiffany is in some senses a younger version of Granny, but
      it's not an argument we'd make with any conviction...

      http://tinyurl.com/253u8rb


      ...while Irish blogger Brian Caffrey offers a long, thoughtful and
      quite passionate essay on both the author's body of work and ISWM
      itself:

      "Pratchett has Alzheimers and everyone feels the need to weep and
      wibble and talk about how sad that is, but you know what? The man
      has kept writing. Even more impressively, not only has the quality
      not dropped, it has bloody well improved. You can hear his voice so
      very clearly now, which presumably is the effect of his dictating
      rather than typing the work. The already great prose now has a more
      lyrical, flowing quality. The characters sound that little bit more
      distinct. The books look further to bigger problems. We should be
      championing him as a writer and a person for his ability, giving a
      well-earned triumph to someone who has not failed to enthrall us...

      "...Tiffany recognises her mistakes and grows. In standing alone,
      she makes mistakes and errors of judgement, but she also,
      critically, learns to recognise them, adapt and change for the
      better of both her and the people in her care. What better message
      can we give children, young and old, that that? To those that now
      might be worried that social ills have usurped the importance of
      good humour in Mr Pratchett's work can relax. The book is as funny
      as any of his better works. The Nac Mac Feegle are still the same
      tiny whirling dervishes of fun – albeit finally tempered with an
      edge of depth and even transparent, genuine rage when presented with
      a situation that threatens those vulnerable and dear to them – and
      Tiffany gets to hold wry, witty observations of the world. The
      humour is essential, both to offset the darkness of the book and
      indeed allow it to go to a scarier place than would be comfortable
      or even tolerable without..."

      http://tinyurl.com/22tqebd


      ...and blogger Grace London's review is shorter but no less
      thoughtful:

      "I enjoyed I Shall Wear Midnight very much. I've always had a soft
      spot for Tiffany, and for the Chalk, which reminds me of Sussex.
      It's hard to write about the book itself without giving away the
      plot but the theme is similar to that of Unseen Academicals – how
      we can distrust and be persuaded to turn on anyone that we perceive
      to be different to ourselves, and demonise anyone who is 'other'
      even if they are performing a useful function in society..."

      http://tinyurl.com/297kvgc

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      ----------------------------------------------------------------------
      End of Part 5, continued on Part 6 of 6.
      If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
      ----------------------------------------------------------------------
      Copyright (c) 2010 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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