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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion June 2001 (Volume 4, Issue 6) *********************************************************************
    Message 1 of 2 , Jun 30 7:00 PM
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      June 2001 (Volume 4, Issue 6)

      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
      in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      Staff Writers: Geof Johns, Michael Jones
      Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
      Art Director : Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
      Convention News Editor: Megan Perry
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2001 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

      ==Part 1

      1. New Books
      2. The Last Hero: cover blurb
      3. Lords and Ladies: the Play
      4. Computer Games
      5. Rare T-Shirts
      6. Sales of Pratchett books

      ==Part 2

      7. Letters from Our Readers

      ==Part 3

      8. Puzzle Page
      ==Part 1

      1) NEW BOOKS

      Spin-offs aside, and leaving out the two books later this year, I'm
      planning three more novels, one a year, for the next three years -- the
      first coming out in November 2002. Titles and outlines are on the
      computer and the contracts have been signed.

      The Science of Discworld 2: The Globe is likely to be published around
      the middle of 2002, and I'm also planning 'For Fear Of Little Men'
      (working title!) a classic fairy story but with the addition of the Nac
      Mac Feegle.

      -- Terry Pratchett (tpratchett@...)



      Here's the LAST HERO jacket blurb on the
      advance publicity going out from Gollancz

      He's been a legend in his own lifetime.
      He can remember the great days of high adventure.
      He can remember when a hero didn't have to worry
      about fences and lawyers and civilisation.
      He can remember when people didn't tell you off for killing dragons.
      But he can't always remember, these days, where he put his teeth. . . .
      He's really not happy about that bit.
      So now, with his ancient sword and his new walking stick and his
      old friends - and they're very old friends - Cohen the Barbarian
      is going on one final quest. It's been a good life. He's going to
      climb the highest mountain in the Discworld and meet his gods.
      He doesn't like the way they let men grow old and die. It's time,
      in fact, to give something back.

      The last hero in the world is going to return what the first hero stole.
      With a vengeance. That'll mean the end of the world, if no one
      stops him in time. Someone is going to try. So who knows who
      the last hero really is?

      -- Colin Smythe



      Samuel French has just published Irana Brown's stage adaptation
      of LORDS AND LADIES. The UK price is GBP 6.25 and the
      title code is: ISBN 0-573-01888-X It is available directly from
      London (order by phone, fax or e-mail) at this price plus
      GBP 2.50 postage and packing.

      However, it might be easier for our North American members to
      obtain copies directly from Samuel French Inc. in either New York
      or California. Their New York office is: Samuel French Inc.,
      45 W 25th Street, New York, NY 10010, phone (212) 206 8990.
      I believe the US price is $8.95, but postage depends on way you
      want them sent. They also have a store at that address.

      They normally take a small stock of every title published in
      the UK, but if they are out of stock at any time, they have weekly
      deliveries from London, so there's not too much delay in supply,
      according to their London office.

      The USA branches will also carry stocks of two other Pratchett
      novels adapted for stage - CARPE JUGULUM and MASKERADE.

      Samuel French, Inc. 
      45 West 25th Street - Dept.W 
      New York, NY 10010 
      Phone (212) 206-8990 
      Fax (212) 206-1429

      (For what it's worth, I tried calling the NYC
      number and the phone just rang and rang -
      no one ever picked up.)

      Samuel French, Inc. 
      7623 Sunset Blvd. - Dept.W 
      Hollywood, CA 90046 
      Phone (323) 876-0570 
      Fax (323) 876-6822

      Canadian members can try:

      Samuel French (Canada) Ltd. 
      100 Lombard Street - Dept.W 
      Toronto, Ont., Canada M5C 1M3 
      Phone (416) 363-3536 
      Fax (416) 363-1108

      And if all else fails, try:

      Samuel French, Ltd. 
      52 Fitzroy Street -Dept.W 
      London W1P 6JR, England 
      Phone (44207) 387-9373 
      Fax (44207) 387-2161


      Dear Editor:

      Here's a review of the current status of the Discworld games.


      The first Discworld game is very dated now. To be fair it came
      out about 8 years ago when computer games were written for
      DOS and Day of the Tentacle was the most amazing thing
      ever to grace a computer screen. Low-res graphics, slow
      animation, but is still worth playing if you are a big fan of
      Discworld. The characters are voiced quite well, and it is quite funny.

      On the downside, the version I have is full of bugs, although several
      patches are now available to download. The puzzles are very hard, although
      you can find a complete solution at http://www.cheatersguild.com


      This was a cracking game. The puzzles were easier, the animation and the
      voices were amazing, and above all it is hilariously funny. To me this game
      really brought the characters to life, especially with the voice of Eric
      Idle (ex Monty Python) as Rincewind. It was far longer than the original,
      drew on more of the Discworld novels and had far more characters in it. In
      style, it's sort of Discworld meets Python and that was right up my street.
      This remains one of my all-time favourite computer games, and I have been
      playing them since the days of Jet Set Willy and Horace.


      I only bought this a week or so ago. It's very different to the other two
      games which only used the characters from the novels. This is literally a
      "film noir" set on Discworld. So far it is not bad and quite amusing, but
      it's nowhere near as good as Discworld II.


      Discworld Noir is still available and out on budget. I picked a copy up the
      other day for GBP 9.99 in Game Zone. I'm not sure if the first two are still
      available or not. They are quite old now, so probably not, unless you find
      them in some sort of compilation pack.

      -- Aaron Pawson, aaron.pawson@...


      5) RARE T-SHIRTS

      Elton Murphy of Clarecraft
      reports that he still has a few copies
      of two rare t-shirts available:

      Death & Mort on Binky on black t-shirt
      Size XL only
      Price: GBP $7.50

      The Discworld Event 2000 on black t-shirt
      Sizes: L, XL
      Price: GBP $7.50

      Sorry, we don't have the prices in other
      currencies, but Elton will let you know if
      you e-mail him.


      6. Sales of Pratchett books

      Publishers and booksellers like lists, and Britain's weekly magazine
      THE BOOKSELLER last week issued the figures for the top-sellling
      25 paperback sf and fantasy titles for the 12 weeks ending 24 March.

      Terry's books took 15 (60%) of the places - 1st The Fifth Elephant,
      4th The Colour of Magic (Corgi have now sold over 800,000 copies
      of their edition since they first published it in 1985), 8th The Last
      Continent, 10th The Light Fantastic, 11th Jingo, 13th Carpe Jugulum,
      14th Mort, 16th Pyramids, 17th Sourcery, 18th Equal Rites,
      20th Feet of Clay, 21st Reaper Man, 22nd Guards! Guards!
      23rd Small Gods, and 24th Wyrd Sisters.

      Apart from The Hobbit (3rd place, an edition published in 1991),
      all other titles in the list were published in the last nine months,
      Terry's were the only titles showing staying power with consistent
      and continuing sales year in year out.

      -- Colin Smythe

      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
      WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion June 2002 (Volume 5, Issue 6) *********************************************************************
      Message 2 of 2 , Jul 5, 2002
        Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
        June 2002 (Volume 5, Issue 6)
        WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
        worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
        including the North American Discworld Society and other
        continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent
        in your name and e-mail address. Are there any dues? No.
        Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
        News Editor: Bethany Ayers
        Staff Writers: Lady Aranluc
        Puzzle Editor: CatTigerLi
        Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
        Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
        Art Director : Rhett Pennell
        World Membership Director: Becky Swaney
        Convention News Editor: Megan Perry
        Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
        Copyright 2002 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

        ====Part 1

        1) EDITORIAL

        ====Part 2


        ====Part 3

        11) PUZZLE: MORT

        1) EDITORIAL

        Perhaps you're wondering why the June issue, which normally
        arrives around the end of June is coming to you in July.

        We have had four weeks of solid rain here in Florida with a
        lot of heavy lightning flashes. This is the lightning capital
        of the world, and for the past several days, it has been much
        worse than usual. I was going to try again last night but
        heard about some unfortunate local man who went from
        his house to his car and was struck dead by lightning in
        his driveway. It seemed like a good time to lie down and

        Much as I love the works of Terry Pratchett, I figured this
        was not a good week for pushing things. Luckily, things
        have quieted down a bit and I am doing my best to finish
        the newsletter today.


        Joe Schaumburger



        Yes, the KFL has finally come up with a convention of
        its own. Lady Aranluc, our own Queen of the
        Horoscopes, is quite busy at the moment, organizing
        the first KFL Spanish Discon, Ankh-Madriz, which
        will be held in Madrid on July 23-24 (?). This may be the
        first non-English speaking Discworld Convention
        -- it is certainly the first one for the KFL.

        Manuel Delibano, the head of our large and growing
        Spanish language section with over 350 members
        worldwide, reports on Aranluc: "I didn't find her anywhere,
        she just turned up on the net and started doing just
        about everything: drawings, songs, fics, the
        horoscope... Of course, I couldn't help enrolling her in
        El Puercoespín."

        She's a lively 23-year old who has her own website
        (in Spanish, of course) with all of her production
        (DW or not, graphic or written) located at:
        or you can write her directly at: ankh_madriz@...
        for more details on the Con or at: aranlucx@...

        I ran her Con announcement through my translation program
        to get more details on the Con but, as usual, the program
        generated material that is neither in English nor in Spanish
        but in some strange robotic language it seems to have invented.

        Here's what I came up with:

        First, a sample of the translation, so you can see what the
        computer revolution has brought you:

        "(beneath)the paved of the biggest Square, they have found a
        container for the collection of rubbles that dates of 1300 and
        a fossil digger of the cretácico."

        As nearly as I can determine, this is the Program:


        12 NOON - Welcome and Registration
        1 PM - Guide to Ankh-Madriz
        2 PM - 3 PM - Panels
        4 PM - Tournament to Mutilate Mrs. Onion
        5 PM - 6 PM - Theatrical Performance
        "Lords and Ladies"
        9:30 PM - Dinner
        11:30 PM - Readings


        10 AM - Breakfast
        11 AM - Movie - WYRD SISTERS
        1 PM - Panels
        2 PM - Farewell
        3 PM - Sandwiches for Stragglers

        There will also be "disguises and surprises" -
        some sort of a raffle - and even T-shirts.

        Admission is a modest 3 euros, about US$ 3
        Dinner is 6 euros, and the T-shirts are 14 euros.

        That's all I can make out of the robotic text,
        and I had to do a lot of interpreting and guessing.
        The biggest problem is that they have said the
        dates are July 23 and 24, which fall on Tuesday
        and Wednesday. Check the website or e-mail
        Aranluc to straighten this out.

        As to where it is being held, the robotic text is
        absolutely inscrutable, although it sounds vaguely
        like a university.



        Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler's latest treat

        Seen in a market in China.


        (Courtesy of Ms. Moby)



        To the Editor:

        Cliff wrote:

        > It seems to me that Terry Pratchett is the first to relate ducks to the
        > infinite.
        > The relation is indirect. DEATH has stated that the infinite is duck egg
        > blue from the outside. Only things that are duck egg blue are certain
        > gemstones and some, but not all, duck eggs. Now, it is uncharacteristic of
        > Terry to write about dead things like cold, not very valuable, very
        > not-alive gems.
        > So there has to be a duck sitting on infinity waiting for it to hatch.
        > [Perfect Discworldish logic!]

        The Soul Cake Tuesday Duck? (or whatever it is - I don't have the
        volume to hand) ((SM, FOC, H))?

        > Even as I type this, I'm wondering if it is true. I'm looking at a tiling
        > piece by M.C.Escher where white flying things on a black background turn
        > smoothly into black flying things on a white background. In the middle,
        > those flying things might be ducks. Might be geese. Probably, considering
        > how Escher saw the world, paper airplanes from seven year olds in grade
        > school.
        > Also, there might be ducks in Chinese iconography or Japanese.
        > There aren't any in ours. We have bunnies, geese, horses, etc., but no
        > ducks. Ancient Egyptians had all sorts of animals: ferocious lions and
        > crocodiles, a silly bird called ibis, a harmless little antelope called
        > ibex, and two thousand and two (From a coffee table picture book "2002
        > Egyptian Gods") others. But no ducks. Amerindians, (Caribbean, Northern,
        > Southern and Central) made totems of all sorts of dangerous animals, but
        > ducks.
        > Gary Larson has related chickens, cows and lots of other animals to the
        > infinite through his double deep metaphors, but not ducks.

        Larson has done some deeply disturbing work relating to ducks.

        -- Martin Watts



        Mark Barltrop writes about the UK book trade magazine
        The Bookseller's comments:

        You hear this sort of thing all the time from SF wallahs, who bang
        on about the Booker Prize and never seem to take the pleasure they
        should in the fact that they are Not As Other People.

        In fact I am contemplating a series of riotously funny fantasy
        novels set entirely in Chipworld, a self-contained universe that
        hovers permanently just above Terry Pratchett's shoulder."

        I must say I don't think Terry has a chip on his shoulder, I think
        it's quite understandable that he should be miffed that he's passed
        over for awards just because he's writing fantasy - I'm quite sure if
        he were writing mainstream fiction he'd have been hailed by the
        critics as the new Wodehouse or Twain ages ago.

        Heck, even some SF fans don't have much time for fantasy. There was
        quite a hoohah last year when Harry Potter won the Hugo for best

        I just hope that the Carnegie award committee redress the situation
        and give the medal to Amazing Maurice....but even if they do, a lot
        of literary types will shrug their shoulders and say, "Well it's only
        a kid's award, isn't it?"

        -- Mark Barltrop, tachyon@...

        If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
        End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3
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