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WOSSNAME -- November 2009 -- Part 4 of 5

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  • granny_tude
    WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2009 -- PART 4 OF 5 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 4 -- ...AND MORE, AND HOROSCOPE 25)
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 24, 2009
      WOSSNAME -- NOVEMBER 2009 -- PART 4 OF 5 (continued)

      ====Part 4 -- ...AND MORE, AND HOROSCOPE




      25.1 DWCON 2010 UPDATES

      Hi all,

      Your friendly neighbourhood hotel team here! It seems that everyone
      is really looking forward to the Convention, and most of you are
      nice and organised, because we have had a record number of hotel
      bookings compared to this point before previous conventions.

      We have now booked out just over 80% of the rooms available at the
      Birmingham Hilton Metropole, and certain room types (for example
      family rooms) are nearly booked up. So if you are wanting to stay at
      the convention hotel and haven't already booked your room, now is the
      time to do so! Once all the rooms are full, they're full...

      Bear in mind that you do not have to pay any money in advance, and
      that you can cancel or change your booking up to 48 hours before you
      are due to check in. You will not pay any money until you check out
      (credit card details are taken to secure the room only).

      Don't forget that by booking a room in the convention hotel you can
      make sure you're right there for all the action (it's not unusual for
      bar parties to be in full swing in the wee small hours of the
      morning), and the booking also includes the delicious Hilton buffet
      breakfast. That should be a good incentive to get out of bed after a
      late night having fun!

      A reminder of the convention special rates:
      Single room £60 per person per night (£60 per room per night)
      Double/twin room £50 per person per night (£100 per room per night)
      Children under 16 Free accommodation if sharing with one or two
      adults (£60 or £100 per room per night)
      Half price accommodation if in their own room (£30 or £50 per
      room per night)

      If you have any questions, you can reach the hotel team at the
      following address: hotel@...

      Also, make sure you check out our new feature on the convention
      website, a Discworld Guide to Birmingham!

      With regards,
      The Hotel Team

      Price Rise Reminder

      I just wanted to remind you all that the next price increment for
      membership of the convention kicks in on Sunday November 1st. As per
      https://www.dwcon.org/static/membership Full Membership rises from
      £50 to £55 and Concessionary Membership moves from £33 - £36.
      Supporting stays static at £20, but obviously the price to later
      convert to a full membership will increase!

      It should also be noted that we're now up at around 625 members (the
      computer glitch in assigning numbers is being filled in quite
      rapidly), so while there's still a ways to go to our 800 cap, the
      gap is getting smaller! We're really looking forward to August 2010
      and along with a few more guests we hope to announce the first draft
      of our Programme well before the end of the year.

      As always, if you have any queries, please let us know!
      Membership -- membership@...
      Hotel -- hotel@...
      General Queries -- info@...


      Chairman, Discworld Convention 2010


      Author and IDWcon guest Peter Morwood had a very good time indeed:

      "D and I had a great time -- including one especial benefit, being
      able to sit and speak to Terry for the first time in too long. We
      didn't have any opportunity to chat with him at all during the Tempe
      convention, so really enjoyed being able to just talk... Much beer
      was consumed over the weekend (of course) and I'm not the only one
      to think that Sir T. Pratchett, all in black with a white beard,
      looked very well matched by the pint of Guinness in his hand. He
      also seemed very at ease, so much so that he decided to extend his
      stay at the hotel..."


      Blogger booksareadrug has posted a nice photo of Pterry talking to
      fans in a casual setting at IDWcon:




      Australian blogger Margaret "Marg" Bates has a challenge for
      Pratchett fans:

      "As far back as March 2007 I blogged about the possibility of
      reading the Discworld series in its entirety, but it never happened.
      You know that means just one thing! Time for a Terry Pratchett
      reading challenge! The challenge will start from 1 December 2009 and
      run through to 30 November 2010. There are several different levels
      of participation for you to choose from:

      1-3 books -- Cashier at Ankh-Morpork Mint
      4-5 books -- Guard of the City Watch
      6-8 books -- Academic at the Unseen University
      9-10 books -- Member of Granny Weatherwax's Coven
      10-12 books -- Death's Apprentice

      "You can either be reading the books for the first time, rereading,
      or even watching the TV adaptations if you like! As long as everyone
      has fun I will be happy! Please also do not feel limited to only
      reading the Discworld books as any books by Terry Pratchett will
      count for this challenge. Each month, I will put a Mr Linky up so
      that you can link your reviews or Pratchett posts if you want to do
      more general posts say on individual characters, places, events etc.
      To sign up just leave a comment on this post with a link to your
      intro post if you do one. I look forward to seeing what people post
      about over the next 12 months."




      Some months ago, WOSSNAME featured a request from the lovely and
      long-standing From Rim to Hub website, calling to Discworld fans to
      recommend music for any or all Discworld characters and whatnot.
      Time to have another look:

      "This is where you'll find music that relates to (hopefully,
      eventually) most aspects of the Discworld universe created by the
      seriously awesome and ridiculously brilliant Terry Pratchett. This
      playlist is created by fans for fans, so if you've got a song you'd
      like to share, please e-mail fromrimtohub@... with the song
      and possible tags. Browse the Song Categories, listen to the Latest
      Additions, or just grab Life by the trousers (of Time) and listen to
      whatever comes, but most importantly, have fun! Suggestions welcome!
      Email fromrimtohub {at} gmail {dot} com."




      [Editor's note: due to circumstances beyond our control, Fernando
      Magnifico is unable to perform his duties as astrologer for WOSSNAME
      this month. We are however, very happy to reprint an interview with
      Fernando by Miss Sacharissa Cripslock of the Ankh-Morpork Times.]

      Fernando: Buongiorno, signorina Sacharissa! You must please be
      forgiving Fernando for his rudeness in not getting up to greet you,
      but as you can see Fernando is in the stocks.

      Sacharissa: That must be very uncomfortable, Mr Magnifico.

      F: Please, you must call me Fernando! Yes, Fernando can tell you
      that this is not as pleasant as the stocks they have in those
      exciting private clubs in The Mews. Trust me on this, for Fernando
      knows it is so! It is the molto uncomfortable, but do not be
      afeared, for Fernando is willing to suffer for the sake of providing
      the accurate horoscopes for his readers.

      S: I'm sure your readers are wondering why you are in the stocks.
      How is this related to you being an astrologer?

      F: My dear friends, as you may remember, Fernando's membership of
      the Guild of Prognosticators, Soothsayers, Fortunetellers,
      Oneiromancers, Haruspices and Cunning-Men (divers wizards, witches,
      priests, priestess and Mrs Cake exempted) had expired, probably
      because of the dastardly actions of that mangiatore del formaggio
      Carlos, please excuse Fernando's Quirmian. But Fernando is not one
      to let his dear readers down, and so last month he bravely girded
      his magnificent loins for the battle with the Guild and wrote the
      horoscopes, regardless of all danger to himself. Consequently, the
      Guild has made the complaint to the Patrician, who has sentenced
      Fernando to spend a week in the stocks for the unlicensed

      S: With two days still to go, how are you coping with the

      F: It is very hard, like Fernando's muscles, but Fernando is
      sustained by one thing: his many wonderful friends who have
      supported him during this terrible period, and the love of his

      S: That is two things, Mr Magnifico.

      F: Yes, you are right, Fernando can see why you are the Ankh-Morpork
      Times' grandissima investigative reporter! Fernando is sustained by
      the two things: his wonderful friends and the love of his readers.
      And his dedication to his art. No, perdone me, that is three things.
      Three things: friendship, love, and dedication. And knowing that
      Rail Youventis beat the Quirmians three goals to nil last week. Four
      things! Friendship, love, dedication, Youventis, and the knowledge
      that the Guild has finally found Fernando's membership renewal, so
      when this is over, Fernando can practice the casting of the
      horoscopes again.

      In any case, Fernando has been in worse places, like the two weeks
      he spent as the captive of pirates in the Bay of Mante.

      S: You were held prisoner by pirates?

      F: Perhaps not so much a prisoner exactly, but Fernando's heart was
      held captive by the terrible and beautiful Pirate Queen of Mante,
      the dreaded Captain Roberta. It was a terrible time for Fernando, he
      was exhausted every night by the ordeals Roberta and her all-lady
      pirate crew put him through, and of course at the end of it all, his
      heart was broken when Captain Roberta tired of him and put him
      ashore with nothing but a week's worth of food, one hundred gold
      pieces, a donkey, and a letter of recommendation to Princess
      Katherina of Orohai.

      S: If we can return to the stocks, many of our readers are
      fascinated by the range of punishments available to Lord Vetinari.
      Hardly a week goes by without The Times getting a letter or two from
      somebody complaining that his Lordship is too soft on criminals and
      that they could devise a much better punishment themselves. For some
      reason they often involve red-hot spikes, elephants, or sometimes
      both at the same time. What are your thoughts on the matter?

      F: Fernando is not the how do you say career criminal, and it is
      only due to the unfortunate mistake that he is here! But Fernando
      has travelled much, and seen the many cities and towns, and when you
      are as much loved as Fernando, occasionally you find the husband or
      father who is not so understanding of the matters of the heart. So
      you can trust Fernando on this when he says that these are the best
      stocks in the world, second only to the stocks of Brindisi. And that
      is only because the Brindisian craftsmans take the time to carve the
      educational pictures in the stocks for the benefit of the prisoner.
      As a small boy, Fernando learned much about anatomy from the
      carvings on the Brindisi stocks. You should have seen the faces of
      the prisoners when they noticed the carvings!

      S: I'm sure Disgusted of Ankh will be pleased to read your kind
      words about Morporkian stocks. And the elephants?

      F: Fernando loves all animals, especially the dogs, but perhaps not
      the same way that some of the stray dogs have come to love
      Fernando's leg. If Fernando didn't know better, he would be sure
      that one of the dogs was (how do you say it?) egging the others on.
      A mangy terrier with a particularly estupido look in its eye.

      S: While you are unavailable, what do you suggest your readers
      should do if they need a horoscope cast?

      F: Of course Fernando would normally recommend that they should
      contact the most beautiful and talented Lady Asterisk for their
      astrological needs, but Fernando is molto saddened to say that Lady
      Asterisk has been bitten by a jelly and cannot write the horoscopes.
      For those who cannot wait for Fernando to be released, there are the
      many other astrologers in the Guild. Fernando knows that there are
      the many people -- not Fernando you understand, but the other people
      -- who say that these astrologers (not Fernando, the other
      astrologers) could not find their own bottom with the help of a
      orrery, let alone the right constellation. Fernando knows that this
      is not true, if it was a simple enough orrery. And cara Sacharissa,
      let Fernando reassure your readers that these other astrologers
      hardly ever confuse the Celestial Parsnip with Wezen the Two-Headed
      Kangaroo or the Small Boring Group of Faint Stars. If your needs are
      few and your expectations are low, Fernando is sure that they will
      be more than adequate.

      S: Thank you Fernando, and I'm sure I speak for all your readers
      when I say I hope your last few days in the stocks go by quickly.


      End of Part 4 -- continued on Part 5 of 5.
      If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
      Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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