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WOSSNAME -- APRIL 2009 -- PART 3 OF 4

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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME -- APRIL 2009 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 3 -- ...AND MORE... 28) ABP BITS 29) THE
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 27 4:21 PM
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      WOSSNAME -- APRIL 2009 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued)
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      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      ====Part 3 -- ...AND MORE...

      28) ABP BITS
      29) THE BISHOP'S BLOG
      30) DISCWORLD FANAC ATTACK!
      31) IMAGE OF THE MONTH
      32) THE WEARING OF THE LILAC -- FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH
      33) NEW PAUL KIDBY TATTOO SHEETS
      34) WEIRD ALICE PRESENTS: A BIRTHDAY PAEAN TO PTERRY

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      28) ABP BITS

      NAME THAT PARAPHRASE!

      Each episode of Criminal Minds begins and ends with a famous quote.
      Episode 20 of season 4 began with this one from pratchett.

      "light thinks it travels faster than evenning, but it is wrong. No
      matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always
      gotten there first and is waiting for it."

      ANyone recoginze this one? I'm guessing something early like the
      light fantastic.

      -- xander_drax


      Recognise it yes... but I can't place it. It doesn't sound quite
      right - did you paraphrase it? I certainly suspect it should be
      'everything' rather than 'evening.' My feeling is Equal Rites or
      Sourcery, but that's just a guess.

      -- rob c


      Either the OP did or the programme did - Terry didn't write 'gotten'
      ;-)

      It's /Reaper Man/, p.230 of the BCA hardback edition:

      "The journey took an instant that would have taken mere light three
      hundred million years, but Death travels inside that space where
      Time has no meaning. Light thinks it travels faster than anything
      but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the
      darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."

      -- Andre

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      29) THE BISHOP'S BLOG

      They're even blogging down on the Street of Gods these days! David
      Thomson, Pratchett fan and also Bishop of Huntingdon, has several
      Pterry-related posts on his blog:

      http://bpdt.wordpress.com/?s=pratchett

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      30) DISCWORLD FANAC

      That's "fan activity" to you...

      There are some interesting -- and some "*cough cough* 'interesting'"
      -- Discworld fans and fan groups out there on the internet. Here be
      a random sampling from the various currently active Discworld-
      related LiveJournal communities...

      Lancre, a Pratchett fanfiction community featuring both prose fanfic
      and fan videos: http://community.livejournal.com/lancre/

      Discworld 100, a community specialising in traditional, i.e.
      100-word, drabbles: http://community.livejournal.com/discworld100

      Discworld After Dark, a fanac site run by "Mrs Palm", with the
      expected quota of Oggish sauciness:
      http://community.livejournal.com/discworld_smut/

      Teatime Fans, a community of, yes, fans of Mr Teatime. Fanfic,
      discussion, et cetera:
      http://community.livejournal.com/teatime_fans

      DWA (Discworld Art), a community specialising in Discworld fanart,
      with some lovely stuff:
      http://community.livejournal.com/discworldart/

      Cheesemongers, a community dedicated to Monstrous Regiment-based
      fanfic -- slashy by definition, since the Ins-and-Outs aren't
      exactly a co-ed military unit:
      http://community.livejournal.com/cheesemongers

      Also on the fanac front, the Silver Horde is back in action after a
      long period of silence -- that's the sort of thing that happens when
      you get toted off by Valkyries to parts unknown, I suppose -- and is
      looking for contributions to their new website:

      http://silverhorde.co.uk/Mambo/yappa-ng/index.php?

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      31) IMAGE OF THE MONTH

      Dollcraft enthusiast Kath David, aka puppetmaker40, responded to a
      Discworld doll-making challenge with her creation -- the Lancre
      Witches and Greebo:

      http://pics.livejournal.com/puppetmaker40/pic/00038p3b/


      A photo page on how she created the dolls:

      http://tinyurl.com/d5wr3r

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      32) THE WEARING OF THE LILAC -- FOR ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH

      Wear the Lilac is a charity drive supporting worldwide Alzheimer's
      Disease research. After last year's sales and donations, they are
      repeating the wearing of the lilac:

      "On May 25th, fans of Sir Terry Pratchett's novels 'wear the lilac'
      in honor of the events in the novel Night Watch. Now, we have an
      even more important reason to do so - supporting Alzheimer's
      research around the world.

      "These lilac pins are made from life-size silk blooms and tied with
      a black velvet ribbon. A light lilac satin grosgrain ribbon is
      available for those who would like to give the pin as a gift to a
      friend or family member. The large size blooms are approximately the
      size of a lady's corsage spray, and the smaller blooms are the size
      of a gentleman's buttonhole/boutonniere.

      "The proceeds from the sales of these pins were donated to
      Alzheimer's research on May 25th 2008, split between the American
      Alzheimer's Association and the Alzheimer's Research Trust. Another
      donation will be made on May 25, 2009, and each May 25th
      thereafter."

      Each pin costs US $10.00. The price includes Priority Mail shipping
      within the USA and Puerto Rico. Each additional pin is $5.00 US.
      Prices for international orders are the same as in USA, with
      shipping overseas via USPS First Class International Mail.

      Wear the Lilac 2009 is now in progress, and this year's total
      already stands at US $192.00.

      http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/19273092

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      33) NEW PAUL KIDBY TATTOO SHEETS

      Speaking of tattoos of Death, renowned Discworld artist Paul Kidby
      has now branched out into the ink business. No, he hasn't taken up
      the needle himself, but Jenny Clarke Designs are offering six sheets
      of Kidby's renderings of Death, Death of Rats, Greebo, the Four
      Horsemen and other familiar Discworld characters for sale to
      tattooists.

      http://www.jennyclarkedesign.com/B/Paul_Kidby-(32).aspx

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      34) WEIRD ALICE PRESENTS: A BIRTHDAY PAEAN TO PTERRY

      (with abject apologies to Thomas Stearns Eliot)


      THE LOVE SONG OF T.D.J. PRATCHETT

      Let us go then, you and I,
      When the Rimfall is spread out against the sky
      Like a victim on Quetzovercoatl's altar
      Let us go, through certain dark Ankh-Morpork streets,
      As Cumbling Michael bleats
      Of restless nights in Elm Street's cheap bedsits
      And Harga's restaurant with greasy chips
      Streets that follow like a Fools' Guild argument
      Of a humorous intent
      To lead you to an overt wealth of... footnotes!
      Oh, do not play Greek Chorus
      Let us go and dance Dark Morris.

      In the room the wizards come, unseen
      Talking of thaumic octarine.

      The Morpork smog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
      The river-fug that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
      Licked its tongue into the corners of the Bucket,
      Lingered upon the gargoyles guarding drains,
      Let fall upon its back the black of lithe Assassins,
      Slipped by the terrace, writhed round Sator Square,
      And seeing that it was a soft Sektober night,
      Curled once around the Tump, and fell asleep.

      And indeed there will be crime
      Under Ankh-born fumes that slide down Easy Street,
      Rubbing grey-black upon the window-panes; Disc-ing itself
      There will be crime, and barely time
      To prepare a voucher for the Thieves that you may meet;
      There will be time to say the number Eight,
      And time for all Devices wrought by dwarfs
      That lift this brawling City toward its fate;
      Time for Schleppel, time for Reg,
      And time yet for an Igor's deft incisions,
      And for a Sweeper's history revisions,
      Before the taking of meat and two veg.

      In the room the wizards come, unseen
      Making a joke about the Dean.

      And indeed there will be time
      To wonder, 'Do I dare? Will Vimes go spare?'
      Time to turn back Time and deeds repair,
      With P.L.T. making horrors of my hair—
      [They will say: 'How she stoops, to wear the tin!']
      My armoured breasts, my collar fastened firmly 'neath my chin,
      My pedigree's the oddest, but blue-blooded via lupine kin—
      [They will say: 'But she's a vegetarian!']
      Do I dare
      Disturb the multiverse?
      In a minute there is time
      For decisions and revisions which the Moon will soon reverse.

      For I have known the grags already, known them all—
      Have known the meetings, mineshafts, Ankhian ruins,
      I have squandered all my gold in greasy spoons;
      I know the old life's dying, like an axe's fall
      Beneath the bustle under cellar rooms.
      So should I mention Koom?

      And I have known the toffs already, known them all—
      The eyes that damn you with a far too inbred phrase,
      And when I am relegated, tossed like Mr Pin,
      When I am told 'No comment!' by Lord Rust,
      Then how should I begin
      To spit out all Spike's butt-ends from the Golem Trust?
      And how should I presume?

      And I have known the 'girls' already, known them all—
      Arms of that painted Guild, pale, white and calm
      (But in the lamplight, best of Mrs Palm's!)
      Is it scumble from a dish
      That makesh me shpeak like thish?
      Arms that twine around a client, or cap a maiden's fall.
      And should I rent a room?
      How soon should I dig in?

      . . . . .

      Shall I say, I have lurked at dusk in Morpork's streets
      And watched the Clacks that clatter from the roofs
      Midst lonely geeks with code-books, changing shifts in towers? . . .

      I should have been a cruel wild banshee's claws
      Scuttling between the Trouserlegs of Time.

      . . . . .

      And 'til well past noon, Young Sam will sleep so peacefully!
      Smooth is his breathing,
      Asleep . . . tired . . . or merely teething
      Safe in his bed, here beside you and me.
      Should I, after teetotal libations,
      Have the strength to foil yet more assassinations?
      But though I have cursed and shouted, growled and coughed,
      Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] fetch ever higher
      prices
      I am no genius — but I'm cool in crisis;
      I have seen the sternest of my Watchmen flicker,
      And I have seen the eternal Death of Rats go SNH, and snicker,
      And in short, I was pissed off.

      And would it have been worth it all, and sweet,
      After millennium hand and shrimp for tea,
      Among the Faculty, among some talk of Sourcery,
      Would it have been worth while
      To endure Ridcully's hassling with a smile,
      To have squeezed the universe's rubber sheet
      To roll it toward some thaumic insurrection,
      To say: 'We are wizardry's future, come have fun
      'Come HEX me up a treat, H.E.M. is neat!'
      If one, scoffing a sausage inna bun,
      Should say: 'That is not what I meant to eat.
      'That is not real named meat.'

      And would it have been worth it, after all,
      Would it have been worth while,
      After the battles and the broadswords and the trampled thrones,
      After the sagas, after the horse cheese, after the skirts I chased
      from Rim to Hub—
      And dine-chewers for my grub?—
      It is 'barbarian' to say just what I mean!
      But seen by a magic lantern through a silken Agatean screen:
      Would it have been worth while
      If one, scuttling a Dark Lord or storming Io's gate
      To turn larks into legends, should say:
      'That's not a hero's fate,
      'That's not a deathless hero's fate.'

      No! I am not King Verence, nor was meant to be;
      I'm just a tender Tomjon, one who'll do
      To thrill the punters, steal a scene or two
      Advise the prince; he jingles, but he's cool,
      Deferential to the senior Ogg
      Mildly thick, gracious, and fond of his wife;
      Full of high purpose, but a bit agog;
      At times, indeed, a cliche brought to life—
      Almost a perfect Fool.

      I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
      I shall yet wear midnight when the nights are cold.

      Shall I shout 'Io's not blind!'? Do I dare to speak of Klatch?
      I shall wear black pointy headgear, and fly on brooms of thatch
      I have heard the Beggars, canting to the Watch.

      I do not think that they will beg from me.

      We have seen young vampires gliding past the Moon
      Combing the land for humans to attack
      Venting their blood-lust stylishly in black.

      We have lingered on the shambling Circumfence
      By sea-trolls wreathed with foam against the sky
      Til Great A'Tuin takes us, and we fly.

      -- Alice

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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      End of Part 3, continued on part 4 of 4.
      If you did not get all four parts, write: interact@...
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      Copyright (c) 2009 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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