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WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2008 -- PART 3 OF 4

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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2008 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 3 -- ...AND MORE, WEIRD ALICE AND
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 21, 2008
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      WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2008 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued)
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      ====Part 3 -- ...AND MORE, WEIRD ALICE AND HOROSCOPE

      19) ABP BITS, CONTINUED
      20) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
      21) THE TURTLE MOVES!: A REVIEW, ISH
      22) WEIRD ALICE: A SEASONAL PARODY
      23) YOUR MONTHLY HOROSCOPE MAR > MAY

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      20) ABP BITS, CONTINUED

      20.1 NATION REVIEWED
      by ABP reader Richard

      Ok, then, review. Liked it, didn't love it. PTerry's best? By no
      means. His worst? Certainly not. There's something different about it,
      which is good, and the alternative Earth is a nice touch. A lesser
      author would have put it either on another world altogether, or on
      ours as-is. The story is good, and the characters (well, most of them,
      anyway) well written.

      I did actually like the way not everything is spelled out for you.
      Some things _should_ not be explained, especially not if one of the
      aims of the book is to make its readers think. If some people can't
      be bothered to do that, then some authors would pander to the lowest
      denominator and pin down every detail for you, leaving no room for
      your own thoughts and opinions. PTerry doesn't, and that
      intentionally. And on a trivial note, I like the typography.

      On the negative side, there were times when I wanted to slap some of
      the characters. Daphne really does worry too much over some of her
      actions, even for what amounts to a home-bound Victorian society belle
      in training. Then again, some real-life teenage girls deserve a bucket
      of water in the face, too.

      Ataba. Really didn't like him, and didn't like how he was treated.
      He's the most simplistic, most stereotypical kind of Primitive
      Ooga-Booga Priest you get, and he's the only one, so he's _all_ the
      priesthood you get in the book. The "modern" priests, by contrast, are
      well-meaning but vague and inconsequential. I suppose that if all your
      information about organised religion comes from watching TV interviews
      with Jerry Fallwell on the one hand and with Rowan Williams on the
      other, that would be just to be expected, but from PTerry I do expect
      a more thought-through image.

      In balance, then, would I buy another book in this series, should
      there ever be one? Without a doubt, but I wouldn't make a trip to the
      city especially to buy it (which I do do with DW books).

      On a scale of 1 to 10, about an 8, I guess.

      20.2 19.2 THE ANNOTATED PRATCHETT FILE: BEAUTIFUL PLUMAGE...

      Just to wander off on a tangent here, whatever happened to the
      'official' annotated pratchett file? It seems to have been not
      very updated for a while now :(

      -- John Hinge

      Not dead.

      Resting.

      -- Leo Breebaart

      "That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange eons, even
      death may die."

      Like that?

      -- Chris Zakes

      More like: "Remarkable document, the APF, idn'it, ay? Beautiful sub-
      headings!"

      - Nigel


      "Dead APFs are files, too! End updateism now!"

      -- Richard

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      21) THE PLAY'S THE THING: DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

      21.1 WYRD SISTERS: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT

      Studio Theatre Club, Stephen Briggs' own theatre group, will present
      a special new dramatisation of Wyrd Sisters in celebration of 25
      years of Discworld and 60 years of Terry Pratchett. Wyrd Sisters was
      the first Discworld play ever performed by the company, but this
      time around they promise a bigger cast, new scenes and characters,
      and spectacular -- or at least better! -- costumes and effects.

      Where: the Unicorn Theatre, Thames Street, Abingdon, OXON
      When: 20th to 24th January 2009 at 7:30pm (matinee at 2.30pm on 24th
      January).
      Tickets: £8, available from Tickets@... -- full
      booking details can be found on their website:
      http://www.studiotheatreclub.com


      21.2 THE TRUTH IN OXFORD

      Parabox Productions return to the Old Fire Station, after their
      successful Edinburgh Fringe run of Mort, with Terry Pratchett's
      The Truth to celebrate the Discworld's 25th Anniversary.

      Where: Old Fire Station Studio, Oxford, UK
      When: 3 March - 7 March 2009

      For further details, please see:
      http://tinyurl.com/4ejk5y

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      22) THE TURTLE MOVES! ...OR MAYBE NOT

      A review by Annie Mac

      So. After quite a lot of searching around the wild bookshops of
      Fourecks, I finally got myself a copy of The Turtle Moves!
      Discworld's Story Unauthorized, by Lawrence Watt-Evans. And I read
      it from cover to cover, for the purpose of reviewing it. And I find
      that, having read the book, I'm not at all sure what to say about
      it.

      That in itself says something. After all, I found plenty to say
      about Andrew M. Butler's Unauthorised Discworld Companion, didn't I?
      And there's no question that Mr Watt-Evans is a dyed-in-the-wool
      Discworld enthusiast. And he hails the greatness of Tiffany Aching,
      which buys him a myriad of brownie points with me. And he's
      obviously put a lot of time and effort into classifying the sub-
      series of the Discworld novels, and into writing footnotes... lots
      and lots of footnotes. But ultimately, I'm not sure The Turtle
      Moves! is a book worth buying or borrowing, because I can't say with
      certainty what it's *for*.

      In the course of the book's 285 pages, Watt-Evans covers an apologia
      to both potential and existing fans of the series, what the series
      is generally about, a description of the Discworld and its universe,
      a short (far too short, in my opinion, to be enlightening to
      newcomers) essay on each extant Discworld novel (with a nod to
      several short stories not included in the novels), essays about the
      Discworld phenomenon, essays on each sub-series (the
      classifications, of course, being his own), essays on secondary and
      background characters, and a bibliography. Again, all good... but
      very little of the content strikes me as particularly enlightening.
      For those of us already familiar with the series, there's certainly
      nothing new there. Watt-Evans does offer the disclaimer that he
      wasn't trying for any sort of serious literary analysis of Terry
      Pratchett's writing, but while what he accomplishes may not be
      lit-crit it also isn't sufficiently detailed to entice prospective
      readers who come across the book. At least, not in my opinion...

      There's no question that Watt-Evans can write well. His style here
      is bright and friendly, easy to read and intelligent in a casual,
      almost bloggish way. But at the same time I found his voice a bit
      too preciously self-effacing in places, and he rides the "Pratchett
      is a genius, but I've been writing for a long time so why can't *I*
      be as successful as he is?" train until it gets old and loses any
      charm it might have had at the start.

      I do have to complain about the footnotes. Yes, I've always found Mr
      Pratchett's own Discworld novels' footnotes charming (and often
      extremely funny), but they are there for a purpose. In The Turtle
      Moves!, Watt-Evans' footnotes -- which he openly admits are there as
      homage -- often serve no real purpose, and sometimes would have been
      more effective in the body of the text; also, there are far, far too
      many of them.

      One thing I did gain from The Turtle Moves! is a greater cultural
      understanding of why most American readers simply wouldn't "get" the
      essential Englishness of the Discworld novels -- something that
      never occurred to me as a native of those little islands tucked away
      in a corner of northwestern Europe. The more I think about it, the
      more surprised (and delighted) I am that Discworld is at all
      successful across the pond. If this book helps increase the profile
      of Discworld, more power to its bindings!

      My Dearly Beloved has asked me to add his comments to this review:
      "Speaking as the fellow who handed over his hard-earned cash to buy
      the book, I'm not sorry I did. It might be damning the book with
      faint praise, but TTM! isn't a bad book -- there's nothing
      particularly wrong with any of it. But somehow it just wasn't as
      satisfying as it might have been. In my opinion, it reads like a
      series of well-written tributes to Discworld, written as blog posts
      by a talented, loving fan. And that's not intended as a put-down:
      good writing is good writing, whether on a blog or in a book. But
      it's missing that extra something that (in theory at least)
      distinguishes books by pro writers from blog posts by talented
      amateurs, and that's a shame, because Lawrence Watt-Evans is a pro
      writer. As a tribute to Discworld, TTM! is quite good, but if
      you're looking for something more, you may be come away feeling,
      not exactly disappointed, but not quite satisfied either."

      So...is The Turtle Moves! a good book, or a waste of time? I don't
      know. Was it worth the effort of writing? I don't know. Am I
      recommending it as a purchase or read, or giving it a thumbs-down? I
      don't know. Did it make me want to read any of watt-Evans' own
      original fiction? Not particularly. Ah well, that's the way the
      figgin crumbles.

      THE TURTLE MOVES! DISCWORLD'S STORY UNAUTHORIZED
      By Lawrence Watt-Evans
      Published by BenBella Books
      ISBN 1-933771-46-1

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      23) WEIRD ALICE PRESENTS...

      WE THREE HAGS, ANE HOGSWATCHE CAROL

      NANNY, GRANNY AND MAGRAT:
      We three Hags Lancrastian are
      Straddling brooms, we travel afar
      Hearth and privy, pub and smithy
      Casting our spells bizarre

      Ohh...
      Stars of Lancre, stern in black
      Dames in regal pointy hats
      Hubwards breezing, nethers freezing
      Witches three who've got the knack

      VERENCE:
      Born a Fool, yet destined to reign
      Never cruel though sometimes a pain
      King well-meaning -- New Age-leaning
      Sensible, in the main

      Ohh...
      Star of Lancre, staunch and meek
      Castle sanitation geek
      Bells a-clinking, forward-thinking
      Modernise your farm techniques

      MAGRAT:
      Frank but senseless, soppy am I
      Wrinkled gowns and head in the sky
      Sweet tomfool'ry, occult jewellery
      "Wet as a hen," they sigh

      Ohh...
      Star of Lancre, star-crossed Queen
      Star of herbal research scene
      Keen defender, nappy-mender
      Keeping Ynci's armour clean

      NANNY:
      Scumble mine, 'tis boozy perfume
      Breath like fire can clear a big room
      Girlish in spirit, bawling lyrics
      Bawdy and rude -- boom-boom!

      Ohh...
      Star of Lancre, super-Gran
      Head of matriarchal clan
      Crude and chummy, Greebo's Mummy
      Who can fix things? Nanny can!

      GRANNY:
      Hogswatch parties? Sausages fat?
      Ha! I can't be having with that!
      Bees I'll borrow near and far, so
      I can patrol my patch

      ALL:
      Ohh...
      Stars of Lancre, wyrd and wise
      We've no need to advertise
      Maiden, mother, and the... other
      Guarding all 'neath Lancre's skies


      -- Alice

      For the original lyrics to the carol We Three Kings, go to:
      http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/w/e/wethree.htm

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      24) THE NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

      by Fernando Magnifico

      Hallo and buongiorno to all my friends, it is I, Fernando, and I
      shall be your astrologer today, for the Lady Asterisk has got her
      hand stuck in her Hogswatch goose.

      Unless you have been hiding in the basement building the machine for
      modelling the ebb and flow of money through this fine city (but
      Fernando cannot think of anyone in their right mind who would want
      to do that), or perhaps you are one of the unfortunates deep in the
      Patrician's dungeons (but then how would you be reading this, my
      friend?), then you will be aware that Hogswatch is upon us. In only
      a few more days, the Hogfather will be bringing presents to those
      who have been good, and bloody bones for those who have been bad.
      Fernando is always very good, except once when he was very tired and
      had the flu, but the signorina and her friend were very
      understanding and forgiving.

      This month, the stars say, is the time for parties -- big parties,
      small parties, parties for many people and small intimate
      tete-a-tetes for two. During this month, some of the most powerful
      men in the city will be having the very large balls, and this
      requires much careful handling to prevent embarrassment. Even Lord
      Vetinari, who normally is not a man who has problems with anything,
      has taken on extra staff to plan and prepare for the Annual
      Patrician's Charity Ball. Fernando hears that Lord and Lady Rust's
      plans for their Hogswatch Ball are in complete disarray after their
      son has shot another butler. Not that Fernando has been counting,
      but that is the fourth servant this year.

      Whether you are catering for the Patrician's Ball, or, how do you
      say it, having a knees up down the pub, this month is a molto
      difficile time. There is so much to be planned, so many parties to
      attend, enemies to be polite to, lesser enemies to snub, friends to
      pull out of the gutter and carry home, and so much more. At a time
      like this, Fernando knows that it is more important than ever to
      have the guidance from the stars, and so this is your guide to the
      parties. Happy Hogswatch and ciao bella!

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Adamant Hedgehog 21 Mar - 20 Apr

      For Hoggers who are single, or those with understanding wives and
      husbands, the stars smile on you this month for your party is the
      singles party. Fernando gets the many invitations to singles parties
      all year round, but for those who have never been to one before, you
      can expect many awkward silences, much desperate attempts to impress
      with the machismo, the occasional cutting remark or face slapping,
      and, if you are very lucky, a quick and fumbling grope in the
      corridor with somebody who is not too unpleasant. Fernando is very
      sorry about this, but if you see him at one of these parties,
      perhaps he can "set you up", as they say, with the attractive and
      confident young ladies and gentlemens, since they will all be
      gathered around Fernando talking to him. Such is Fernando's burden,
      but he loves to share.

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Half-Eaten Sandwich 21 Apr - 21 May

      Those born under the sign of the Half-Eaten Sandwich are known as
      Munchers, but also sometimes as Sandies. So what better party for
      you than the beach party? The stars agree and say that this is the
      good time to hire a cart, make up a picnic basket, and go for a day
      trip down to the Holy Wood beach with your friends. Watch out for
      sand in your drinks, ants in your food, biting flies, salt water in
      your eyes, and sharkses. The best thing about a beach party is that
      you can't go hungry, because of all the sand-witches there! Ha ha,
      Fernando has made the joke!

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      -------------------------------------------------------------------------
      End of Part 3, continued on Part 4 of 4.
      If you did not get all four parts, write: interact@...
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      Copyright (c) 2008 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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