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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2008 -- PART 5 OF 5 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 5 -- HOROSCOPE, CONTINUED, AND CLOSE 32)
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 30, 2008
      WOSSNAME -- AUGUST 2008 -- PART 5 OF 5 (continued)


      33) CLOSE



      The Rather Large Gazunda 21 Jan - 18 Feb

      This letter is from Fernando's personal friend, the renowned
      Blackribboner artist the Baroness Evangelika Lugubria Arroganta
      Barbina Solfami von Fledermausen, who runs the eccellente art
      gallery in Broadway:

      "Dear dahlink Fernando, how I haf missed you! It haf been weeks
      since you've come around with your fig leaf for a portrait! I hope
      you hafen't forgotten your Vicki for another artist, I vould be so
      jealous. I have many young men with figleafs to paint, but you will
      always be my favourite. But tell me dahlink, what do the stars say
      this month? Perhaps you could come over and give your Vicki a
      personal reading, ja?"

      Forget you? Never! Fernando is a slave to his art, but Fernando has
      many arts, and he must work hard on the horoscopes as well as the
      fig leaf art. For now, Fernando will cast the ... public horoscope.
      The stars say that this is a good month for the exhibitions, and of
      course it is *always* a good month for a portrait of Fernando with
      fig leaf.


      Lesser Umbrage 19 Feb - 20 Mar

      Sometimes even the astrologers as magnificent as Fernando make the
      wrong predictions. This letter from Done It Duncan explains why:

      "Dear Mister Fernando, I am writing to you to make a confession what
      is heavy on my heart for I have been causing you problems what you
      might not have even known was happening.

      "I have been casting a 'fluence on you and the stars to make your
      predictions go all doolally. Do you remember that story in the A-M
      Times about when you predicted to that lady that Dibbler's Catering
      Service would be good for her wedding and then everybody got food
      poisoning from the bad sausages? You said that it was because that
      star was obscured by Great A'Tuin's flipper, but what you didn't
      know is that the flipper was in the way because of me. I done that.
      And when you told that school teacher that he should take his class
      to see the Ruins at The Tump, and they got caught in a rain of
      tinned cabbage and half the class were concussed. I done that too.
      I've turned myself in to the Watch, but they said they can't take
      any action without a formal complaint from you. Mister Fernando, I
      am a menace to society, won't you please put me away before I can
      done it again?"

      Fernando wishes to set the record straight. Not everybody got food
      poisoning, it was only the bridal party and a few of the guests and
      the family of the bride and the groom's dad and sister and the
      priest and a passing dog.

      Fernando has looked carefully at the stars, and the stars say that
      Mr Duncan has learned his lesson and will not repeat his mistakes.
      Fernando is very forgiving, and in good conscience he cannot find it
      in him to blame Mr Duncan or complain to the Watch.



      And that wraps it up for August. Barring any sudden news
      developments or particularly exciting late-breaking convention
      reports in the next few days, we'll see you next month.

      WOSSNAME extends its congratulations to Pterry for his heartening
      progress in combatting his illness, and may it long continue -- the
      progress, that is! WOSSNAME also extends sympathy to all young
      beings who are about to suffer the pangs of back-to-school, and to
      the parents of young beings who are about to suffer accordingly.
      Here in EcksEcksEcksEcks, Spring has lightly sprung and the drop
      bears are blossoming in the trees; the rest of you should unpack
      your woollies and get ready to dance the...other Morris dance.

      As always, endless thanks to Fiona (Not Bruce) Bruce and the
      WOSSNAME Newshounds, and of course the ever-helpful Colin Smythe.
      Cheerio for now!


      End of Part 5.
      If you did not get all five parts, write: interact@...
      Copyright (c) 2008 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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