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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2007 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 2 - MORE NEWS AND THE SUCH 6) MAKING
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 23, 2007
      WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2007 -- PART 2 OF 3 (continued)

      ====Part 2 - MORE NEWS AND THE SUCH

      10) THE CLACKS LOG OF...



      Making Money made the Washington Post Book World's list of the
      "Best Books of 2007".

      The Washington Posts's review of Making Money:


      or http://tinyurl.com/2po6y3



      I enjoyed this one so much I think I forgot to pass it on to you.




      It was rumoured that Pterry was in Italy recently for a signing.
      Looks like it's true - and here are iconographs to prove it!


      or http://tinyurl.com/2t9ql6



      Yes, it's time for another memorable WOSSNAME contest! With prizes!

      Here's how it goes:

      It's a contest. There are prizes. Any WOSSNAME reader can enter.
      See? Simple. All you have to do is...

      1. Write a short essay (maximum 500 words give or take 10%) about
      Discworld, or any character from the Discworld series or other
      books by Terry Pratchett, and what it, he, she, or...um...it means
      to you. The best essay, as judged by a team of independent judges,
      will win a copy of Andrew Butler's new book, An Unofficial Companion
      to the Novels of Terry Pratchett.


      2. Write a piece of poetry or verse describing what Terry
      Pratchett's Discworld, or any Discworld character or other character
      from any Pratchett book, means to you. Limericks and haikus are
      allowed. The best piece (not necessarily the longest), also judged
      by the team of judge-y judges, will win a copy of the book.

      Bonus marks will be given for anyone writing a limerick who manages
      to channel Nanny Ogg whilst still keeping it clean enough for

      Closing date: delivered to our inbox by midnight, 20th January 2008.

      As with our Anagram Contest, you are free to enter as many times as
      you like, but anyone entering more than 500 times might be asked
      politely to Get A Life, unless said person is the Head of Stamps at
      the A-M Post Office. Or goes by the name of Vetinari.

      In the WOSSNAME spirit, it's not as much about winning as it is
      about taking part. Go on, you know you want to. WOSSNAME readers
      have already given some great Discworld anagrams, so let's have some
      more of your hearts and souls...muhahaha...



      Cert here, posting on behalf of Alice, wherever and whatever she is.
      As you can see, I managed to make it out of the Mage Wars wastes.
      Took a while to get functional-shaped again. Actually, I'm not me-
      shaped again yet, but I can hold a pen in my beak so it could be
      worse. I'm not good with writing, much, but I did find some copies
      of Alice's songs and poems and one of them is appropriate to the
      season so I'm posting it here. Wishing you all a happy Hogswatch and
      wishing myself the good fortune to stop being a parrot. Then again,
      I'm going to carry on trying to find Alice, so being able to fly
      without a carpet has a sort of advantage. Wish me luck.

      by Weird Alice Lancrevic

      Twas Hogswatch, and the savvy youths
      Did slyly grin as sleep they feigned
      All tinselled were the icy roofs
      And the Hogfather reigned

      'Beware the pig-shaped choccy buns!
      'The drunken fights, the booze'd collapse!
      'Beware the lemon curd, and shun
      'Voluminous brandy-snaps!'

      We took our chunder-cures in hand
      Pork rinds and sausage pie we bought
      Then rested we as the clock struck three
      And had a wily thought

      And as we hid, with prying eyes
      The Hogfather (with list of names)
      Came jingling through the wintry skies
      HO. HO. HO. as he came!

      One-two, one-two! The ham's sliced through!
      Its charcoaled skin was bright as chrome
      We played Charades, then thanked the Gods
      And went galumphing home

      'And hast thou drained the scumble-pot?
      'Don't be alarmed, my wee pished bairn!'
      O scabrous daze, me head's all glazed!
      We mortals never learn...

      Twas Hogswatch, and the savvy youths
      Did slyly grin as sleep they feigned
      All tinselled were the icy roofs
      And the Hogfather reigned.



      by Lady Anaemia Asterisk


      Greetings, O seekers of the wisdom of the stars! Blessings upon you
      from Anoia, my personal Goddess of the Month, and may the Cow of
      Heaven fall lightly upon your cusp and not trample you with her
      celestial hooves!

      It's been recently brought to my attention that - despite my years
      as a well-paid, I mean, well-known practitioner of the Discly astro
      -illogical Arts - far too many people know far too little about the
      heavenly Signs that govern their lives. To ameliorate this
      benightedness, I have put considerable effort into putting together
      what the Technomancers call a "database" (although why they want to
      abase dates, I'm sure I don't know; I prefer sultanas myself).
      Hereinunder, and also possibly just under here, is an at-a-glance
      picture of the current Signs and the respective traits, qualities,
      and other vital information that makes up each Zodiacal
      profile... and when I say "makes up", let me assure you that hours,
      no, years have been spent studying the stars. Do I look like the
      sort of person who makes things up? Hah!

      Remember, knowing your exact day of birth is very important, as
      A'Tuin's travels take us into the realm of different constellations.
      Even when the name of your Sign changes, its mystical influences
      remain the same. Except when they don't. Which is why you'll always
      need the services of a professional astrologer, see? I love it when
      a plan comes together...

      Lady Anaemia Asterisk,
      (Astrologer, letters written, light cleaning services available,
      leave your card with my Igor)


      The Adamant Hedgehog 21 Mar - 20 Apr

      Born-unders commonly known as: 'Hogs, Hoggers
      fruit: pineapple
      colour: flesh pink
      number: 22
      letter: S
      matching Agatean sign: the Blowfish
      known to influence: feet, ankles, elbows, fingernails
      traditional Sign of: Watchmen, athletes, Regimental Sergeant-

      Hoggers are typically short-tempered, arrogant, and prone to being
      spiky and dangerous. Many have a talent for prognostication. They
      especially enjoy shouting, mot of all at subordinates.


      Gahoolie, the Vase of Tulips 21 Apr - 21 May

      Born-unders commonly known as: Gahooligans
      fruit: orange
      colour: puce
      number: 4 1/2
      letter: A
      matching Agatean sign: the Reciprocating Fox
      known to influence: spleen, shoulders, those small fiddly island-
      shaped bits on the pancreas.
      traditional Sign of: schoolteachers, priests, slave traders, civil
      servants, debt collectors, entrepreneurs.

      Gahooligans are typically fresh, zesty, pithy and often rather sour;
      they tend to be thick-skinned and do not bruise easily. They are
      single-minded and simultaneously passionate and phlegmatic, and make
      good communicators.


      Herne the Hunted 22 May - 21 Jun

      Born-unders commonly known as: Hernians
      fruit: strawberry
      colour: burnt umber
      number: 14
      letter: M
      matching Agatean sign: the Heavenly Tourist
      known to influence: corpus callosum, sacrum, stiff upper lip,
      reproductive organs
      traditional Sign of: headmistresses, chefs, governesses, minor
      government mandarins, maiden aunts

      Hernians typically have a tendency to sensitive skin. They are self
      -indulgent but also have a strongly developed pragmatic side; this
      tends to make for people who are perpetually at war with their
      desires and cravings, though it has to be said that sometimes that
      war is lost on one side or the other.


      The Wizard's Staff and Knob 22 Jun - 22 Jul

      Born-unders commonly known as: Staffies
      fruit: aubergine
      colour: octarine
      number: 11.3165
      letter: G
      matching Agatean sign: the Hoarse Whisperer
      known to influence: mouth, tongue, eye muscles, index finger
      traditional Sign of: soldiers, innkeepers, journalists, housekeepers
      and philosophers

      Staffies have an inborn love of pleasure and luxury, and are prone
      to indulging in passing along unsupported rumours. Often far more
      self-indulgent than a Hernian, lacking the same balance, yet
      Staffies can also be very practical - even calculating.


      Bilious, God of Hangovers 23 Jul - 23 Aug

      Born-unders commonly known as: Bilians, or Chunderers
      fruit: grape
      colour: burgundy
      number: 12 per cent
      letter: H
      matching Agatean sign: the Water Feature
      known to influence: organs of the middle body, particularly the
      stomach, liver and gall bladder
      traditional Sign of: accountants, sales managers, science teachers,
      hedge witches.

      Bilians are typically nervous, somewhat pessimistic, and prone to
      digestive troubles. They also often lack assertiveness and self-
      confidence, though at the same time they can be very forceful if
      pushed too far!


      Mubbo the Hyena 24 Aug - 23 Sept

      Born-unders commonly known as: Mubboons, or Mubbles
      fruit: pumpkin
      colour: khaki
      number: 31
      letter: O
      matching Agatean sign: One Won Ton
      known to influence: nostrils, and the hand that wields a sword or a
      ploughshare (or dunging fork)
      traditional Sign of: merchants, care workers, actors, Fools,
      barbarian heroes, agony aunts (though not Agony Aunts), tax

      Mubboons typically show honesty and the lack of artifice, and are
      poor at keeping secrets. They are also known for their kindness,
      understanding nature and gullibility.


      The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars 24 Sept - 23 Oct

      Born-unders commonly known as: Boring'uns
      fruit: kumquat
      colour: yellow
      number: 3
      letter: C
      matching Agatean sign: the Bureaucrat
      known to influence: adrenal glands, voluntary muscles, heels
      traditional Sign of: church deacons, proofreaders, library
      assistants, researchers in safe subjects

      Boring'uns are typically extremely safety-conscious and often
      methodical. They dislike excessive risk-taking and are frequently,
      shall we say, paranoid.


      Androgyna Majestis 24 Oct - 22 Nov

      Born-unders commonly known as: Andies
      fruit: fig
      colour: electric blue
      number: 256
      letter: P
      matching Agatean sign: the Dragon's Egg
      known to influence: teeth, chest, biceps
      traditional Sign of: salesmen, long distance hauliers, mercenary
      soldiers and secret royalty

      Andies typically love familiar, comfortable surroundings, and are
      casual to the point of, well, extreme casualness; they have a
      tendency to credulousness. Type 2 Andies might *seem* credulous
      types, but underneath they're as sharp as tacks and twice as likely
      to do you major damage if crossed!


      Great T'Phon's Foot 23 Nov - 21 Dec

      Born-unders commonly known as: Footies, or Footys
      fruit: apple
      colour: crimson
      number: 1
      letter: B
      matching Agatean sign: the Vampire Ghost
      known to influence: shoulders, neck and, erm, bottom
      traditional Sign of: sailors, explorers, animal rescuers, engineers,

      Footies are typically optimistic, sometimes to the point of
      foolishness, tending to view the world through rose-tinted
      spectacles. They enjoy travel, and are often happy enough in their
      own company to be considered "something of a loner"; also famously
      good with animals.


      End of Part 2 -- continued on Part 3 of 3.
      If you did not get all three parts, write: interact@...
      Copyright (c) 2007 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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