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WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2007 -- PART 5 OF 9 (continued)

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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2007 -- PART 5 OF 9 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 5 - WEIRD ALICE, FURTHER CLACKS LOG 25) MORE
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 26, 2007
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      WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2007 -- PART 5 OF 9 (continued)



      Second clog, cont.

      Actually, I'm in Genua now. We hitched a lift with a Circajun rum
      runner and sang traditional Circajun swamp songs all the way. Miss
      Curts-, erm, Listeria has quite a good voice -- we're thinking of
      starting a band when my Grand Sneer is over, haven't sorted out the
      details yet but as I've been thinking of moving to A-M and that's
      where she's going to be for a while, there are plenty of
      possibilities. Also, she knows all the officials in the Seamstresses
      Guild [somehow, I'm no longer surprised], so when I get there I'll
      have a free place to stay until I get settled in. Brilliant!

      Genua is absolutely amazing these days, and I have so much to say
      about it, but first I want to get back to Mrs Gogol and the whole
      making zombies thing. As I was saying before the ink ran out, I got
      to meet her -- she has a shack that wanders around the lower reaches
      of Circadia -- and discovered that she's something of a fan of mine.
      Maybe fan is too strong a word for a powerful Witch like Mrs Gogol,
      but she certainly ladled out the gumbo like an old friend and she
      has a copy of 101 More Things to Do with a Dead hedgehog which she
      asked me to sign. It seems that in the New New Genua [newer than
      ever since the rebuilding after the Krullian Fish Flood of two years
      ago], with its rollicking and abundant nightlife and cafe culture,
      zombie bartenders are very much in demand, and Mrs G is the primary
      supplier of high-quality Undead bar staff. We got to talking about
      the reliability of well-trained zombies and about public service
      industries in general, and after a few good hours and a number of
      bottles of rum and most of the last of my emergency travelling
      supply of aged Lost Wages scumble she told me the secrets of zombie
      making because they also make great roadies... and no, I've not the
      least intention of sharing the secrets with the world, ha ha. She
      also told me where to find the best bars and nightclubs and
      restaurants [although I couldn't believe any restaurant could make
      gumbo as good as hers, though she tells me that the Palace cooks
      are pretty close] and gave me a sort of letter of introduction for
      the Baroness. Actually, it was a trained announcing crow, but down
      here that's pretty much the same thing. Genua has changed beyond all
      recognition in recent years: all the fairy-tale shiny-white clean
      sterile stuff that marked the reign of Evil Lilith is gone now, and
      like the Circadian swamp draping everything in moss if it stands
      still for enough hours, the natural laissez-faire-ness of Old Genua
      has crept back in and covered the city with a picturesque icing of
      sensual and stylishly cheerful decay. There are buskers on every
      corner, the whole city seems to be open all hours, and the new
      Seamstresses' Guild branch is the largest and most powerful on the
      Disc [after A-M and HungHung, of course]. And there is rum. So much
      rum. So very, very much rum.

      I've already been given a handful of bookings for gigs while I'm
      here, including one at the Disc-famous House of Booze and one at
      Puttin' On the Grits. So my song of the moment is an appropriate
      one for the time and place again:


      Hey mister, dead mister, dead mister, dread mister
      Hey mister, dead mister, dead mister, dread...

      I met Zombie lad in a Genuan bar
      Struttin' his stuff after dark
      He said, Hello, hey, yo, you want fish liver and roots?

      Getchyer, getchyer Zombie bar tab
      Getchyer, getchyer bar tab here
      Got a lotta macho Houngans
      Green and oozy Zombie lad

      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars -- bizarre!
      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars...

      I sat in the lounge bar while he frothed my cup
      I drank all that black herbal wine
      From the backwater creeks, brewed with Circajun mystique, yeah

      Getchyer, getchyer herbal cocktail
      Getchyer, getchyer health drink here
      Vino frappacino gaga
      Gogol's crazy Zombie lads

      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars -- bizarre!
      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars...

      Crust on his skin feels like funky goo
      Colour of compost and clay
      Hey, that salvaged suicide
      Leads a fuller life
      Than a corpse, corpse, corpse

      Now he's dead cold, workin' every night
      Livin' the great afterlife
      But still he longs for some peace
      Permanent sleep:
      Snore, snore, snore

      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars -- bizarre!
      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars
      Loony Voodoo shades in the bars -- bizarre!
      "Tea 'au lait', me Zombie lad!"

      Well, that's all I have time for now. It's Fat Tuesday soon, and
      the whole city is gearing up for the best celebration of the Century
      of the Anchovy, so Listeria and I have some rehearsing to do. My
      next stop, if we can ever be moved to leave here, is either Brindisi
      or Krull, depending on who's going when we want to. Everything here
      is very laid back. It's the rum.

      -- Alice.

      Note for Roundworlders (with apologies to Patti Labelle): lyrics for
      Lady Marmalade, the original song, can be found at




      by Lady Anaemia Asterisk


      ... or perhaps, I should say, the stars of magick. This month, my
      dear Astropossums, I've procured the assistance of some vary special
      Guest Astrologers. In fact, not so much "assistance" as "they hustled
      me out of my orrery and insisted on doing the whole star-crossed
      Horoscopes themselves". Mind you, it's good to give my sextants a
      little break now and again! And, since most of our Guest Astrologers
      are far more at home with Omniscopes than Horoscopes, I think I can
      promise that the results will be entertaining. So I shall stand well
      back out of spell-casting range and proudly present those wonderful
      wizards of, um, wizardry, as they tell you what's in your stars for
      the next month...


      End of Part 5, continued on Part 6 of 9.
      If you did not get all six parts, write: interact@...
      Copyright (c) 2007 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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