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WOSSNAME -- JUNE 2007 -- PART 3 OF 9 (continued)

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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME - JUNE 2007 -- PART 3 OF 9 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 3 - ...AND MORE... 19) DISCWORLD JAMBOREE:
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 26, 2007
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      WOSSNAME - JUNE 2007 -- PART 3 OF 9 (continued)
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      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      ====Part 3 - ...AND MORE...

      19) DISCWORLD JAMBOREE: AN EARLY LOOK-IN
      20) INTERVIEW: IAN STEWART
      21) WOSSNAME VOLUNTEERS SUBMISSIONS GUIDE
      22) THE CLACKS LOG OF WEIRD ALICE LANCREVIC

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      19) DISCWORLD JAMBOREE 2007: SCOUTING FOR TROLLS

      by Fi O'Mahoney, Fearless Roving Reporter

      Having recently spent a good hour on a windy and wet Sunday afternoon
      in Wincanton, trudging round with the rest of the team, map in hand
      getting soggier and soggier, pen marks getting washed away, trying to
      figure out the best position for a flag pole, several 100ft marquees,
      a living history village and re-enactors camp, The Wessex Birds of
      Prey Rescue marquee and perches, The Assassins Assault Course for
      Beginners (there will be a disclaimer to sign for anyone fool-hardy
      enough to have a go and probably a free bandage) and a myriad of
      other marquees that will house entertainers. I can assure you that to
      call the venue of The Jamboree 'a field', is a little like saying The
      Dead Sea is a bit salty.

      The place is HUGE!! If you don't believe me come and see:

      www.discworldjamboree.com


      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      20) IAN STEWART: LEARNING FROM THE MASTER

      A fascinating interview with the Science of Discworld co-author:

      http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/scienceandnature/story/0,,
      2105540,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=10

      or http://tinyurl.com/3a9f8t

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      21) WRITING FOR WOSSNAME: A GUIDE FOR VOLUNTEERS

      Yes, this is your chance to be interactive! We've already received
      some fine articles from readers for this month's issue (see below),
      and welcome any printable contributions from the rest of you. Here
      be a submissions guide.

      CONTENT: anything Pratchett-y or Discworld-y, really. News and
      reviews of Discworld plays, amateur or professional; your own real-
      life experiences of Discworld-like things; stories of how you first
      discovered the Works of the Master; any reports on Discworld
      conventions - we often have "official" convention reporters, but love
      additional views and news - or Discworld-themed parties; funny
      anagrams of Discworld characters' names, doggerel about same, ideas
      for quizzes, odd anecdotes...use your imagination! We do not,
      however, accept pictures of humorous vegetables.

      SIZE: pieces of 250-500 words are much appreciated, but essays and
      articles can run longer.

      DUE DATE: Due date is...well, whenever you want it to be, but
      generally before the 21st of the month if it's something that needs
      to appear in that month's issue.

      Send submissions to: interact@... - and it helps if you
      start your subject line with DISCWORLD so the spam filter doesn't
      misfile it.

      And a big thank-you to everyone who's contributed so far!

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      22) THE WEIRD ALICE CLACKS LOG

      POST 4. DOWN THAT LAZY RIVER

      First Clog: "Rolling on the River...not"

      Well, here we are on the Vieux (masc.) River! The River of Romance.
      The lazy, winding river of genteel steamboat travel and long, cool
      Mint Juleps and old-fashioned courtliness and hazy semi-tropical
      afternoons and quaint regional cookery and all that. Except it's
      not quite as lazy and genteel and stress-free as it's cracked up to
      be...

      Of course we broke down. You were expecting anything else? I've been
      getting to the point where I'm not sure if constant breakdowns are a
      natural part of the traveller's landscape or if I'm under some sort
      of Alice-specific geas; whichever it is, we didn't get far, after we
      transferred (at the joining of the Blut and the Vieux) from our Zoon
      barge to the famous Delta Princess, before the paddles started to
      come adrift from the paddlewheels (the captain assured us that this
      was almost unheard-of). And then, another half-day's travel
      downriver, the boiler stopped boiling (the captain assured us that
      this was heard-of, but never on the same run as loose paddles). It
      was a stroke of luck that we have a student Technomancer in our
      travelling party -- Cert did some hydrothermal spells while Mr Num
      took the opportunity (and captive audience) to distribute some of
      his dour dire Omnian tracts to the passengers and I provided the
      entertainment. I sang We're All Going on a River Holiday and We
      Aren't Sailing and Silence in the Stream and other songs about
      rivers and breakdowns and breakdowns on rivers. I'm getting good at
      this!

      Before I forget -- I promised I'd write down the tale of DownTown
      and the kinky boots and what happened to Elena, so here goes, in no
      particular order... all the time I'd been thinking Elena was some
      sort of, you know, Bad Girl, a spoilt rich Werewolf brat who'd
      offended a family member or even committed some dreadful breach of
      etiquette [they take these things seriously in Uberwald], but it
      turns out she was something far worse: a social reformer! Eek! A
      Doer of Good! Specifically in her case, an activist for population
      control, oh dearie me. Remember the Sonky protests some years back
      in A-M? When the Gifts from the Gods cult kicked up a violent stink
      about Sonky's "unnatural" Hygienic Protectives and burnt one of his
      factories [ and "stink" was literal, considering what burnt rubber
      smells like]? Well, the Uberwald Werewolf community gets at least
      as upset about the S word [spay] and the N word [neuter]. But
      against all legal advice and good manners Elena opened an S&N clinic
      in Bonk's mean back streets and was hounded, ha, that's a good one,
      hounded, and condemned as a Traitor to the Race by the more lupine-
      supremacist factions -- you might say they were, wait for it, up in
      legs about the issue -- and abhorred by the vampire community for
      the faux pas of Upsetting the Traditional Balance of Power. But that
      wasn't the worst of it: some villagers decided, as a stag night
      prank, to drug the bridegroom and drag him off at Elena's clinic,
      and this was during a new moon, and yes, you know exactly where this
      is going, don't you. When the ugly [and non-fruitful] truth came
      out, the We R Igors public relief fund -- yes, there's an L in that
      P word, which is a shame when it comes to potential for rusticated
      humour -- offered to, um, replace what was taken... but due to a
      clerical error, the replacements turned out to have a certain
      lycanthropic quality to them, and when the somewhat mollicated [up
      to then] bride gave birth to a healthy litter of pups, Elena had to
      head for the hills, which is to say for *other* hills. And when the
      various mobs caught up with us, she had to leave again in rather a
      bigger hurry. We last saw her all furred on all fours, a charmingly
      lithe silhouette by flaming torchlight, pulling ahead of her
      pursuers while we hastily explained to the rest of said various mobs
      that no, we were barely acquainted and didn't even have infertile
      pets. I wish her gods-speed.

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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      End of Part 3, continued on Part 4 of 9.
      If you did not get all parts, write: interact@...
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      Copyright (c) 2007 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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