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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- FEBRUARY 2007-- PART 5 OF 6 ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 9) WEIRD ALICE SONG & NEWS SLAYIN A VIMES by Weird Alice
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 25, 2007
      WOSSNAME -- FEBRUARY 2007-- PART 5 OF 6

      by Weird Alice Lancrevic
      (with apologies to the Bee Gees)

      Well, you can tell by the way I slyly sneak
      I'm a deadly man, Assassin-chic
      Fashion hot and caltrops cold
      I'm a graduate - eighteen years old
      And now it's goodnight, say goodbye
      And he may scream or softly die
      Duke of Ankh is in a jam
      It's in The Times - we're out for Sam!

      Whether we were nobles, pig-farmers, or from Cockbill
      We're slayin' a Vimes, slayin' a Vimes
      Killin' with a flourish, there's nothing amateurish
      When you're slayin' a Vimes, slayin' a Vimes
      Ah, ha, ha, ha, slayin' a Vimes, slayin' a Vimes
      Ah, ha, ha, ha, slayin' a Vimes...

      Well now, I aim low and I aim high
      And if I can't use poison, I'll stab an eye
      Got some extra daggers in my shoes
      I'm a stranglin' man, and I've crossbows too
      You know it's last rites, he should pray
      Cos he won't see another day
      He can try escapin' doom
      But "Mister Vimes" we'll soon inhume

      We're not out to bother your sister or your father
      We're slayin' a Vimes, slayin' a Vimes
      Junior in his crib'll be safe along with Sybil
      But we're slayin' a Vimes, slayin' a Vimes
      Ah, ha, ha, ha, slayin' a Vimes, slayin' a Vimes
      Ah, ha, ha, ha, slayin' a Vimes...

      Life's gonna leave him
      Death, he'll receive him
      We're feelin' stealthy, yeah

      Swift inhumation
      Our reputation
      Will be so healthy, yeah
      Slayin' a Vimes!

      Note: the original lyrics can be found at


      Weird Alice Lancrevic, the noted Bard of the Ramtops whose poetic
      works delight WOSSNAME readers every month, is going on holiday.
      After the runaway success of her book 101 MORE USES FOR A DEAD
      HEDGEHOG (Goatberger & Sons, AM$9.99), Mss Lancrevic has found
      herself wealthy enough to head off on a Grand Sneer, touring the
      furthest and most culturally exciting regions of the Disc just like a
      *real* posh nob! But you, our dear readers, shall not be bereft of
      her presence, because - in keeping with the latest trend - Alice
      intends to write a Clacks log, or clog, detailing all her adventures
      ...or at least the ones that can be reprinted without incurring
      defamation suits and criminal charges. And yes, there may well be a
      song or three included in her clog-posts!

      All in all, it will be rather like Nanny Ogg's Postcards From Abroad,
      only with better spelling.

      We at WOSSNAME wish Weird Alice the best of fortune on what is bound
      to be a thrilling journey (except for the boring bits, you know, the
      ones spent waiting for coaches that arrive late, ships that fail to
      make port, highwaymen who can't decide if they actually want her
      money or her life...). Bon voyage! Gescheisenfalcke! Au lait!


      Colin Smythe, Terry's agent, reports:

      Nielsen Bookscan reports that Wintersmith is no.1 in the Top
      20 Teenage Hardback Fiction bestseller list for the 52 weeks
      to 30 December 2006

      Terry gave a talk whiile in Brisbane on 14 February. You can see
      David Jackmanson's article and pictures at:

      I've just heard from Vlastimir Talas of Talpress, Terry's Czech
      publishers, that "I am very proud to inform you that Maskerade
      [the adaptation by Stephen Briggs presently being staged in
      Prague by The Theatre in Dlouha], won the title Comedy of the
      Year 2006 at the Seventh Grand Festival of Laughter in Pardubice
      on 18th February 2007. It also won the Critics' Prize, the
      Spectators' Prize and the Prize for Best Actress - Helena Dvorakova
      (Agnes). For details of The Theatre in Dlouha, see www.divadlovdlouhe.cz"

      For a picture of the cast, see the attachment: www.divadlovdlouhe.cz



      Here is all the news that we were able to get from our
      reporters in UK, who seem to have over-partied. Whether
      the non-meet was ever held is doubtful, but at least
      they tried, and perhaps when they have all sobered up,
      we will get a more coherent report, as right now all we
      have are some cocktail napkins with scribbles on them.

      On 2/16/07, GLORIA LLONA <gloriallona@...> wrote:
      > Gloria
      > >From: Dan Lato <dtm1374@...>
      > >Reply-To: ozdw@yahoogroups.com
      > >To: ozdw@yahoogroups.com
      > >Subject: [ozdw] Concrete LondonMeet plans.
      > >Date: Tue, 13 Feb 2007 03:29:41 -0800 (PST)
      > >
      > >Okay folkies here is the deal.
      > >
      > >On Friday February 23 we will gather at Asti's place
      > >for a meal, a couple drinks and some frivolity (if you
      > >behave yourselves).
      > >
      > >We'll get under way about 7.30pm.
      > >
      > >I will be there, as will Asti and it looks as though
      > >Gloria will also be joining us. So if you're not
      > >fussed about meeting me then meeting the two lovely
      > >ladies should be incentive enough!
      > >
      > >For contact details and details on location mail Asti
      > >OFF-LIST and she'll fill you in on the fine details.
      > >
      > >If you are coming and have dietary restrictions, be
      > >sure to mention that to the lovely Asti when you mail
      > >her.
      > >
      > >Be there or be an odd shaped thingummy.
      > Hello Dan! hello Asti! because of last minute problems at work,
      > I have to work fryday morning which means that I only can
      >take the flight arriving to London stansted at 23.45 or at 22.40
      >(a bit late I'm afraid ).Would it be possible to meet on Saturday?
      > Gloria

      I'm fine either way but it's really up to the other attendees. If
      nothing else, you can come over for dinner on Saturday and then come
      out clubbing with Richard and I. Just bring an outfit in black as
      we'll probably go to a goth private members club on the Saturday.

      MsA, cringing at how sad that sounds

      (I thought there was one more mailing from Asti -- something about
      going to China -- but my computer seems to have eaten it, so
      we'll never know unless my darling granddaughter writes. Ed.)

      by Annie Mac

      Ian Richardson, the superb actor of great pedigree and long-standing
      career, has died in his sleep at the age of 72.

      Those of you who have seen Hogfather will know him as the voice of Death.

      It looks like Mr Bill Door liked Mr Richardson's INTERPRETATION OF
      HIS VOICE so much that he decided to book him for a permanent gig in
      Death's Domain as his body, erm, skellington double...

      Vale Ian Richardson.


      Title: MAKING MONEY

      Publication Date: US & UK -- October 1, 2007
      List Price: US $ 25.95 Sale Price via Amazon: $ 17.13
      UK GBP $18.99
      Pages: US 384 US Publisher: HarperCollins
      UK 352 UK Publisher: Doubleday
      US ISBN-10: 0061161640
      US ISBN-13: 978-0061161643
      UK ISBN-10: 0385611013
      UK ISBN-13: 978-0385611015

      It's an offer you can't refuse. Who would not to wish to be the man
      in charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint and the bank next door?
      It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning,
      the life is not necessarily for long. The Chief Cashier is almost
      certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and
      the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mint
      runs at a loss. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's
      about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get
      him first. In fact lot of people want him dead. Oh. And every day
      he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's
      making enemies. What he should be doing is ...Making Money!
      End of Part 5 of 6, says my computer
      If you did not get all 6 parts, write: jschaum111@...

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