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WOSSNAME -- OCTOBER 2000

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion October 2000 (Volume 3 Issue 10) *********************************************************************
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 26, 2000
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      October 2000 (Volume 3 Issue 10)

      *********************************************************************

      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      and also its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and
      other continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent in your e-mail
      address. Are there any dues? No. Dues are only required if you want to
      join the Guild of Fans and Disciples and receive discounts on books and
      other items sometimes available through their bulk purchases.

      *********************************************************************
      Acting Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      Editor in Chief : Jason Parlevliet (on Paternity Leave)
      Managing Editor : Nathan Clissold (buried under books)
      Copy Chief : Dylan Williams (not recovered from Olympics)
      Art Director : Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director : Becky Swaney
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins <disk@...>
      Copyright 2000 by Klatchian Foreign Legion

      INDEX:

      1. Webmaster Discovered!
      2. Hex Programmers
      3. The Cinema
      4. The Theater
      5. From the Mailbag
      6. New Planet
      7. Member Ads
      8. Writers Wanted
      9. KFL Resources

      1) WEBMASTER DISCOVERED

      As you know, we have been trying to fix
      our web pages for some time,  but our
      webmaster disappeared  last year and
      we have been having some problems
      finding a replacement and getting the
      access codes.  

      The good news is that we have gotten a volunteer
      for webmaster, Paul Wilkins of New Zealand, and
      we have recovered some old access codes
      (that we hope will work) from Andrew Millard,
      the previous WN editor.

      If anyone would like to join the web team to help
      him, e-mail him at <disk@...>

      2) HEX PROGRAMMERS

      It's a cut-throat world, and none more so than in the rapidly expanding
      area of Hexware (well, that and Ankh Morpork at 3 O'Clock Saturday
      morning). Every day it seems, there are 50 new programs for you to
      teach your ants, most of which disappear without a trace soon after.
      How on the Disc can you get your life's work noticed amongst this
      deluge?

      You need better marketing methods to give your hexware the edge over the
      others, and the Faculty of Technomancy R&D Department has been exploring
      some exciting new possibilities.

      With the recent increases in antwidth, it has become possible to send
      programs across the anternet, which has in turn given rise to a concept
      known as Shareware. As you know when you purchase a Hex program, you
      receive a Queen ant who takes up residence inside your Hex, passing
      small blocks of instructions on to worker ants. Generally the Queens
      are magically prevented from passing these instructions onto other
      Queens. With Shareware this limitation is removed, and you can pass
      this program onto as many people as you like simply by your queen
      training another queen. The idea is that if you like the program and
      continue to use it, you send some money to the entomologist who created
      it.

      This idea, while very successful in terms of getting your product "out
      there", is based on basic human trust and honesty, and thus not at all
      profitable for said entomologist. He may as well throw his hat in with
      those loonies at the FHF (Free Hexware Foundation).

      But now, good old BU thinking has seen us come up with four ideas that
      will guarantee you the payment you deserve from the greedy scumbags
      who've been using your Hexware for free all this time...

      *************************************************

      HAGWARE
      Upon installation of the Hexware, an ugly smelly old woman will begin
      loitering outside your house, leering and cackling at visitors and
      passersby. In addition, each time the program is run, she will come
      into your house, eat your food, mess up your kitchen and kick your cat.
      Once you have paid for the Hexware you installed, the apparition is
      banished and life returns to normal, except for your cat who cringes in
      the corner every time Nana comes to visit.

      CRIPPLEWARE
      These programs can be copied and installed freely, but can only be run
      when the user has both arms tied behind their back. Once payment is
      made, the program runs without the aforementioned bondage.

      WOLFWARE
      If payment is not made within 28 days of installing this product, the
      owner is struck down with a terrible case of lycanthropy. After this
      point you can probably charge them double or even triple to remove the
      curse...err, that is, register the Hexware, as they will be desperate to
      avoid killing their few remaining loved ones.

      DEMOWARE
      If the user doesn't pay within a set time period, they and their house
      are teleported into the Guild of Alchemists. This can make it difficult
      to retrieve money from them, as within a few seconds they are generally
      turned into a crimson fresco by some failed experiment, but it is fun!
      And word will soon get around.

      ***********************************************

      So no more will the bright young Hexware entomologist starve in the
      streets while the rest of the Disc gets fat on the fruits of his
      labour. These patented new technologies from the Faculty of Technomancy
      provide you with opportunities for revenue, riches...and retribution.

      Jason Parlevliet - Director of Acronyms
      Faculty of Technomancy
      Bugarup University
      XXXX

      3) THE CINEMA

      Small article on the Internet Movie Database (IMDB.com)

      Celebrity News: 24th October 2000

      Gilliam to Direct Pratchett Film
      Terry Gilliam is set to direct a film version of Terry Pratchett's
      bestseller Good Omens (2002). The movie's plot centers on
      an angel and a demon who are sent together on a mission to
      track down the Antichrist, who has been lost somewhere on
      Earth. It is scheduled to begin filming in Britain toward the
      end of 2001.

      4) THE THEATER

      Blak Yak Theatre Presents...
      Terry’s Fifth Discworld Book
      SOURCERY

      Explosions! Harem girls! Apes! What more could a sane person ask for -
      other then jelly?! In fact what more could I say to sell the show? I mean
      let’s face it, if you’re reading this here, you must be a bit of a fan - so
      I’m not going to bother telling you what it’s about. So I’ll tell you what
      we’ve included in the adaptation.

      Yes Rincewind is there, the Librarian, people being turned inside out, the
      Four Horsemen of the Apocralypse, the Luggage, the Patrician, Wuffles, and a
      quite a lot else. Here are some comments from people who have all ready
      seen it:

      "As colourful as a jelly-bean vomit underneath a flashing neon sign."
      - Some famous art critic guy

      "(Sourcery) is a philosophical and thought provoking show, giving a rare
      insight into the human condition."
      - Some guy who saw the wrong show

      "Hand me the spatula and find me a wombat!"
      - The director during rehearsals

      November - All venues in Perth, Western Australia
      3rd, 4th @ The Kwinana Arts Centre, Sulphur Rd, Kwinana
      8th, 10th, 11th @ The Xanten Centre, Treasure Rd, Queens Park
      15th, 17th, 18th @ The Don Russel Performing Arts Centre, Murdoch Rd,
      Thornlie
      * Come dressed up as your favourite Discworld character on the 10th and win
      prizes!

      Tickets: $12 Concession, $14 Adult
      Bookings: 0500 52 52 59
      Info: danieljsloan@...
      http://www.retro2000.qgl.org/blakyak

      5) FROM THE MAILBAG

      Dear Editor:

      TP makes a point in books with Death in them telling the reader that cats
      can see him, and that they quite like him.

      Having two cats, George and Clyde, that see things at times that are
      obviously beyond my perception, I can't help wondering if he is right.
      I'd like to see him expand on this idea and maybe revolve a story around a
      particular cat or group of cats that Death comes into contact with. (this is
      probably because Death is my favourite character!!) Whadda ya reckon?

      -- Daniel Lato (Australia) <latod@...>

      Dear Editor:

      I don't know about America, but here in Israel Pratchett's books arrive
      absolutely randomly, and it's sheer luck that we got T5E so quickly. But hold
      tight, it'll get there! :)
      Meanwhile, I'd love to discuss any other Discworld novel, so name the time
      and name the book :). I, personally, loved "Carpe Jugulum" and "Maskerade".
      How 'bout you?

      Estrella Talianker (Israel) <talianke@... >

      6) NEW PLANET

      NEW PLANET DISCOVERED...
      IS DISCWORLD CLOSER THAN WE THINK?

      Earth hails newfound sibling: EB173
      By Dan Vergano, USA TODAY

      Astronomers have discovered a minor planet between Neptune and Pluto.

      Known as 2000 EB173, the ball of rock and ice is perhaps as large as 373
      miles in diameter, about one-fourth the size of Pluto (or about the distance
      from Boston to Buffalo). It was discovered by an international team led by
      Gustavo Bruzual of Venezuela's CIDA astronomy center and Charles Baltay of
      Yale University. They plan to report the finding of the "plutino" in
      Astronomical Journal Letters .

      Thousands of minor planets orbit the sun, objects such as asteroids, comets
      and smaller plutinos. But if confirmed, EB173 would be second in size only to
      the asteroid Ceres, which is between Mars and Jupiter.

      "It's a new object, the brightest one out there past Neptune," says Yale
      astronomer David Rabinowitz, a member of the discovery team, which included
      researchers from Indiana University and Venezuela's University of the Andes.

      They sifted the object from 600,000 hits recorded by a special telescope that
      covered a field of vision about 200 times larger than conventional
      telescopes, using detectors originally designed to measure subatomic particle
      tracks during physics experiments.

      EB173 is large and bright enough for amateur astronomers armed with 12-inch
      telescopes to make out in January, when Earth's orbit carries it onto the
      same side of the sun as the plutino.

      "It's pretty massive; it's amazing things like that are still lurking out
      there," says astrophysicist Alan Boss of the Carnegie Institution of
      Washington, D.C. He heads an International Astronomical Union (IAU) working
      group that has long wrangled over the definition of a planet, a subject of
      contention among astronomers.

      In recent years, some scientists have questioned whether puny Pluto,
      one-fifth the diameter of Earth, deserves to be considered a planet.

      Sizewise, Boss says, both Ceres and EB173 dwell in a gray area between
      planets and asteroids. Astronomers classify finds like the plutino as
      "trans-Neptunian" or "Kuiper Belt" objects, a reference to a ring of cometary
      materials just outside the orbit of Pluto.

      Broadly, the IAU group agrees that a planet should independently orbit a
      star, possess enough gravity to shape itself into a sphere and weigh at least
      100,000 billion billion grams. EB173 just misses the last mark, Boss says.

      The reddish surface of the sphere, which orbits 39.2 times farther from the
      sun than Earth does (about 3.6 billion miles away), may have a tarlike
      covering baked by radiation over billions of years.

      Astronomers have spotted about 300 tinier ice balls beyond Neptune. Three
      faint Kuiper Belt objects beyond Pluto may rival the plutino in size,
      Rabinowitz says.

      Similar planetary seeds perhaps grew, by feeding on comets, to form Uranus
      and Neptune, Boss says.

      Pluto or EB173 might have grown, too, if more comets were at the edge of the
      solar system for another snowball effect to take place.

      7) MEMBER ADS
      (All member ads are run without charge.)

      CANADA

      PRIMEDIA, a volunteer run media convention, is proud to announce that it
      will have two signed Terry Pratchett books available at its annual charity
      auction.

      The auction is held to support GEMS of Hope, an organization founded to
      assist in third world development.

      The auction will be held on November 12, at the Airport Days Inn, 6257
      Airport Rd., Toronto.

      The books, Lords and Ladies and Moving Pictures, have been provided by
      Terry through his agent Colin Smythe.

      For more information, you can check the PRIMEDIA website at
      http://www.interlog.com/~kcozens/primedia, or contact us at
      primedia@... or at (905) 820-3844.

      8) NEW WRITERS WANTED

      We're looking for new writers for WOSSNAME. If you'd like to
      be a published author, dash off a few paragraphs on "How I
      Discovered Terry Pratchett" or "My Favorite Discworld Novel"
      and send it in to <jschaum111@...>

      *********************************************************************
      9) KLATCHIAN FOREIGN LEGION RESOURCES

      Each month (well, usually), as well as WOSSNAME going out by e-mail, the
      plain text of the newsletter is embellished with fantastic graphics and put
      up on the Society Web site,

      http://welcome.to/wossname

      As well as the full text of WOSSNAME going out by e-mail, there is also sent
      out a much shorter e-mail announcing that the new version of WOSSNAME is
      available on the Web. So, if you'd prefer to receive this shorter
      notification, rather than the whole text of WOSSNAME, just let us know!

      The announcement list will also be used by other groups in the Klatchian
      Foreign Legion, such as by the Bugarup University Students' Guild for
      announcing BUNS (see above), so you may want to join that list anyway, even
      if you still want to receive the whole text of WOSSNAME by e-mail. To
      subscribe to the announcement list, just go to

      http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/kfl-announce

      or send an empty e-mail to

      kfl-announce-subscribe@onelist.com

      Also on the subject of the Legion, the Klatchian Foreign Legion Webring has
      recently started. A Webring, in case you don't know, is a group of Web sites
      that share a common interest or theme, and have links to one another such
      that by following the link, you travel all the way "around the ring",
      visiting each site in turn. In the case of the Legion's Webring, the sites
      are those of groups like the North American Discworld Society, the Guild of
      Fans and Disciples and the Bugarup University Students' Guild, as well as any
      other Web site with an emphasis on regional Pratchett fandom, at anything
      from the local level up to the continental level. To visit the Webring, or
      to add your site to it, just visit

      http://travel.to/klatch

      *********************************************************************

      WOSSNAME is available in all its glory on the World-Wide Web at:

      http://www.wossname.com

      with a more basic text-only version at:

      http://www.onelist.com/messages/WOSSNAME

      *********************************************************************
      Copyright 2000 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
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