WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2006 -- PART 2 OF 5
- WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2006 -- PART 2 OF 5
5) NULLAS ANXIETAS: AUSCON NEWS
AUSDWCON MELMEET REPORT: WE DINE WITH NOBBY NOBBS...
by Annie Mac
A few days ago, Ben, Pat and Danny, the organisers of next year's
official Australian Discworld Convention (AusDWcon) sent out a call
for all interested parties to meet with them in Melbourne city centre
for dinner and a chat. So Steven and I answered the call.
Unfortunately, no-one else did -- but still, there were five of us.
Apparently this was a new record: the last time they met, there were
only four attendees!
We agreed to meet in the horror that is Melbourne's Federation
Square, otherwise known as Nightmare on Yarra Bank. Fed Square is
well known to Mel's Bournians and despised by most of them; while
its open plaza is rather pretty, the buildings that comprise the
Square itself resemble nothing so much as a giant set of badly made
child's play-blocks that were tossed down and abandoned in a fit of
boredom. Or a building project designed by art students -- or by
H.P. Lovecraft. Since We'd never met the three AusConners before,
Danny said he would carry something Discworldish, probably a book.
Which he did, but as it was a small paperback book and as there was
some sort of colourful, noisy and crowded cultural festival going on
there at the time, I managed to walk past them half a dozen times
before noticing the tiny oblong flash of Josh Kirby artwork. I should
have worn my cuddly Swamp Dragon draped around my shoulders!
Our evening got off to a good start, though, as we discussed the
entertainments around us and tried to determine whether they were
Klatchian or Bhangbhangducese (I went for Klatch, on the basis of
Nobby's Beti-the-exotic-dancer, but was outvoted by the others). We
then repaired to the most prominent tourist-trap restaurant in the
Square for an overpriced dinner featuring astonishingly bad wannabe
Japanese tea (quite an unpleasant surprise, given that there are so
many Auriental people in Mel's Bourne and so many places to get good
Japanese tea!), and the Inquisition began. I asked endless questions
about the DWcon -- how they'd come by deciding to host it, how they
went about securing a venue, what was going to be on the schedule
for that weekend, if there was going to be any Thud (there is) or
costume contests (there are) or panel discussions (yes, though not
all the panelists have been secured yet), if Pterry was actually
going to be there or if it was just a wind-up (he will, and it isn't)
-- and then went for the throat by making suggestions for how to
make the event even more appealing, exciting and yadda yadda yadda.
All of this was refreshingly well-received, and the bit about the
Librarian and the cream pies and the tank of water were -- well, I
can't give any of that away yet, but there may well be some very,
very interesting and amusing things going on at the DWcon next
February. Including a possible Weird Alive Lancrevic's Freestyle
Discworld Karaoke event. Stay tuned...
We also discussed the terrifying Breasts of Hania Ogg, and their
effect on various members of the Pratchett family at signings here
over the course of the past few years
Eventually we headed our separate ways, with Steven and me walking
Ben down part of the way to his train station. It was then that we
discovered that Ben was the selfsame "perfect" Nobby Nobbs, "looks
exactly right, even has the certificate proving he's a human an' all
that" -- from the local Discworld costume parties -- that Hania has
been telling us about for years! I can assure you on the evidence of
my own eyes that Ben does not need a certificate to prove his
membership in our species. In fact, he's a rather pleasant-looking
feller...but yes, he still has his certificate.
The AusDWcon organisers may not be professional convention-makers,
but their hearts are in the right place (assuming there were no Igor
interventions -- I trust them on this) and they deserve maximum
support. So if you live in or near Victoria, Fourecks, or are
willing and able to come up/down/across/around the houses to attend
the convention, sign up for your ticket now! Let's send the message
that Ecksians may be laid-back and beery, but we know how to welcome
our favourite author to their shores again. The place to go is:
Which reminds me, I owe them twenty-five bucks for my reserved
ticket. Soon, soon, soon...
6) MANCMEET UPCOMING ON 7 OCTOBER
by Mary x
There will be a Manchester AFPmeet on Saturday the 7th of
October, for anyone who reads the newsgroup and/or who joins
in with #Afp - everyone welcome!
This date is roughly 7 years since I attended my first MancAFPMeet,
and indeed, my first ever AFPmeet. Other excuses for this meet are: to
celebrate the arrival of a couple of new AFPers in Manchester (Harper and
Nikki), because we've not had one in a while, and any other reasons you can
Do come and join us - ANYONE welcome who wants to meet up, drink, laugh,
make new friends, eat and talk.
Date: Saturday 7th October 2006
Time: 3pm onwards, with eating (pub-food) planned around 6ish
Location: The Pitcher and Piano, 31-33 Lower Mosley Street, Gt Bridgewater,
Manchester, M2 3WS. It is right next to the Bridgewater hall in the centre
of Manchester, easily accessible by bus, tram, train etc. See also:
Directions: Please visit the website http://www.multimap.com/ and enter the
postcode M2 3WS and hit 'find'. This will display a map showing roughly
where it is. But landmarks to look out for are the Bridgewater hall and
G-mex exhibition centre. There are steps/sloping paths down to the pub from
the pebble-shaped sculpture in front of the Bridgewater hall (opposite
The nearest station is probably Manchester Oxford Road Station (then walk
from there up Oxford Road), but you can also easily walk there (or hop on a
tram) from Manchester Piccadilly and Manchester Victoria. There is a tram
stop at the Bridgewater hall (G-mex).
The pub is also accessible by bus. The 84 stops outside, and many other
buses stop at St Peter's square just a few yards away. The Manchester gmpte
website has more bus info if needed, including a map of the bus routes. If
you need more specific directions just ask.
There are details of directions, local info etc on the multimap website, but
please email me for more info if you need it: AFP@.... The pub and
its toilets are all on one floor. And there is a lift, or alternatively a
slope, down from the street to the pub, so it is all fully accessible I
On arrival at the pub, you will recognise us by any of the following:
- - sweeties and chocolate-covered stuff lying around.
- - Fluffy toys are also welcome - The sillier the better.
- - Pterry books, Con T-shirts and the like.
Crash-space information: There are various local AFPers who may be willing
to offer crash-space. Please email me if you would like to sleepover and I
will see what I can organise for you - it might be at mine, at Darren's or
Here I'll quote from Megamole's AFPmeet guide about crashing: If crashing,
remember that in general all that is offered is a roof, the space (often
shared with other AFPers) and perhaps tea and toast in the morning. So bring
your own sleeping bag/bedding, toothbrush, and be nice to the room.
Eating: As I said, we'll aim to eat about 6ish, in the pub. If you have any
bizarre dietary needs just let me know and I will find out if the pub can
cater for them. I know that they have vegetarian options on their menu, and
can cater for gluten/wheat-free diets.
I think that covers everything!
Trying to find us? Take my mobile number with you: 07751 696 055
Look forward to seeing you all there, and hopefully meeting some new people.
7) UNSPEAKABLE VAULT OF DOOM
Elder gods and sapient pearwood -- a little something for everybody:
-- Cap'n Hector <me@...>
8) THE TURNWISE ALMANACK
For those of you who have never read this sterling newsletter,
WOSSNAME includes a monthly horoscope by the famed Discworld
astrologer Lady Anaemia Asterisk, and a Song of the Month by the
highly respected Discworld bard, Weird Alice Lancrevic.
Lady Anaemia and Weird Alice are collaborating to publish their work
on the Anternet, on the Turnwise Almanack. Until now, that has been
unavailable to us here in Roundworld, except through WOSSNAME, but
there is now an Internet web site mirroring the Turnwise Almanack:
Check it out. If you like it, tell all your friends it's free on request.
If you don't like it, say "Hastur" out loud three times, and you will
receive a jolly and unforgettable visit from the King in Yellow.
-- Steven D'Aprano
End of Part 2, says my computer -- continued on Part 3 of 5
If you did not get all 5 parts, write: jschaum111@...
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