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WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2006 -- PART 3 OF 5 (continued)

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2006 -- PART 3 OF 5 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 9) JOHNNY AND THE BOMB -- CORRECTED TIMES Colin
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 28, 2006
      WOSSNAME -- SEPTEMBER 2006 -- PART 3 OF 5 (continued)


      Colin Smythe, Terry's agent, reports:

      Childsplay has announced that the transmission date for Johnny and
      the Bomb is now confirmed as 2nd September from 5 p.m. to 6:50 p.m.
      on CBBC. It will be repeated during the Christmas holiday, date to be
      confirmed, on BBC One.

      The DVD is being released by Warner Vision on Monday 4 September,
      following the CBBC transmission at 5 p.m. on Saturday 2 September.
      For more details, see the site: http://www.johnnyandthebomb.tv


      by Steven D'Aprano

      In Night Watch, Sam Vimes meets a very disagreeable character from
      Ankh-Morpork history: Captain Findthee Swing. Swing is the head of
      the Unmentionables (the Patrician's secret police), and is described
      as having "a mind which had arrived at thuggery by the long route
      and was capable of devising in the name of reason the kind of
      atrocities that unreason could only dream of". Roundworld had its
      own Captain Swing, and like Ankh-Morpork's Swing, he too was
      involved in a serious episode of civil unrest. Like Robin Hood or
      Ned Ludd -- the probably mythical leader of the Luddites --
      Roundworld's Captain Swing may not have even been a real person.
      But whether real or not, he soon took on a life of his own.

      In 1830, after decades of war, high taxation, low wages and high
      unemployment, rural workers in the south of England had had enough.
      With no political voice to speak of, they turned to violent blackmail
      in an effort to get relief. Threshing machines and other new
      agricultural machinery were blamed for sending labourers into
      poverty; farm labourers began blackmailing wealthy farmers,
      threatening them with violence; machinery was burnt, and cattle
      mutilated. And then letters were sent to farmers, signed by "Captain
      Swing" -- possibly as a form of gallows humour (for if the authors
      were caught, they would swing from the hangman's rope) and possibly
      as an implied threat. Few of the letters were written by farm
      workers, and some appear to have been written by educated people
      taking advantage of the unrest to settle private grudges. Within
      weeks, isolated incidents developed into full-scale rioting, and the
      authorities acted harshly to restore order. Nineteen of the rioters
      were hanged, 600 imprisoned, and a further 500 transported to

      Although the Swing Riots -- like the Luddite riots of twenty years
      before -- influenced the political landscape of the day, Captain
      Swing wasn't able to halt technological progress, but he did force
      the government of the day to reform the Poor Laws. The Workhouses
      introduced after the Swing Riots kept people from starvation, but
      did so at the cost of cruel and inhumane treatment, and often
      dangerously unsafe conditions as well. Charles Dickens, both as an
      advocate for welfare reform and as a writer, later wrote about the
      cruelty of the Workhouse in a number of books, most famously in
      Oliver Twist. After the Swing Riots, it took over sixty years for
      the British working class to get a voice in Parliament, and a
      century for the Workhouses to be closed forever.

      If Findthee Swing embodied the bad side of modern, post-Enlightenment
      Discworld humanity, Roundworld's Captain Swing embodied the bad
      side of _traditional_ values: conservative, frightened of change,
      distrustful of anything new, and violent. The tragedy of the time
      was that even if the farm workers had wanted to embrace modern
      values, learn new trades, get better jobs and move with the times,
      they almost certainly wouldn't have been allowed, or been able, to
      do so. In the short term, the Swing Riots made very little difference
      to the lives of most farm workers. But the years of social unrest,
      and the violence of desperate men, eventually led to governments to
      realise that the old social system of a few privileged people at the
      top and the mass of powerless workers on the bottom was

      Someone with Findthee Swing's personality would have been cruel and
      compassionless in any era, but in Ankh-Morpork in the Century of the
      Fruitbat his cruelty took on an especially modern shade; for
      instance, his reliance on pseudo-scientific medical tests to judge
      people, instead of actually looking at the person's behaviour, and
      the circumstances behind that behaviour.

      (I found all this stuff left over from the last issue, when Annie Mac.
      trying to do the work of three people, sent it to me under the
      impression I knew what it was. We'll publish it anyway. -- Joe)
      ((And no, I don't know what it all means, either.))

      To the Editor:

      > Quoting Hania Trzaskowska <purring_cougar_kitten@...>:
      > <snip>
      >> Us kids just learnt to rug up in countless jumpers and groin and bear
      >> it, whilst mamma bear but on an extra fan to cool herself down.
      > Even by Oggish standards, that's one hell of a double-entendre typo.

      When it comes to Hania Ogg, even single entendres come in, erm, great
      pairs :D

      -- Confusing Manifestation
      To the Editor:

      Bet you forgot this existed.
      > >
      > > I hadn't forgotten, but I didn't think anyone
      > would be
      > > interested in my reading material of late.
      > Managerial
      > > Economics anyone? Or The UNIX CD Bookshelf?
      > Heavy stuff! I'm re-visiting the interesting world
      > of Travis McGee, which
      > follows on from 'Once more *with footnotes'. In
      > between was 'Old Man's War'
      > by John Scalzi.
      Between study (economics) and work (unix) I haven't
      had much time for other reading of late though I did
      manage to find time for Reaper Man over the weekend.
      :) But a friend has suggested God's Debris by Scott
      Adams (yes, of Dilbert fame) so I will be checking
      that out over the next couple of days.

      -- no name on this piece, probably Steven

      To the Editor:

      Nanny Ogg was right.

      Although I think she'd have something to say about people calling
      themselves "witch-doctors" ...

      Fuzzy replied: Heh! And I quote: 'Error: a thorough search of the
      Register database for "sex" and "hedgehog" returned [0] results.
      Please modify your search to contain at least one IT-related term.'

      Whereas with good old Google:
      Results 1 - 10 of about 1,960,000 for sex hedgehog. (0.37 seconds)

      -- Con Man
      Mrs Cake found the following item for sale:

      Breaded Dragon

      Price $450
      Description Floyd is 7 months old. Very easy to handle. He comes
      with 50 gallon tank with lid and stand, 1 lamp for basking, 1 lamp
      for UV-B, 2 dish's for food one vibrants, Basking stone, Ladder and
      a hammock Watering hole. Also food.

      And, I assume, LOTS of malt vinegar, lemon and salt.

      Mrs Cake

      To which Joe replied:

      Is it true that this will be the centerpiece on the banquet table at
      the so-called Australian Discworld Convention? Where is the Humane
      Society when you need it?

      Besides, everyone knows the proper dipping sauce for this menu item
      is salsa. If it's still alive when it is served, this will definitely
      kill it.

      Joe the Undying

      From Gibbo the Wanderer, another on-topic piece:
      Seen on the Baggy Green cricket website from an article about Mike

      "Second-season syndrome might be ranked next to the Discworld's
      foaming sheep sickness among manufactured diseases, but if athletes
      don't swear by the affliction they are definitely aware of its

      Seen in a technomancers' discussion on the anternet, by Asti of BU:
      A.F. wrote:

      <snip> I couldn't understand how the gurus knew this, since I'd
      never fallen victim to the accidental case and had frequently done
      the intentional thing. I now walk the streets like Foul Ole Ron,
      muttering "Millennium C++ standards committee", ignoring the
      strange looks of passers by.</snip>


      Again, an AUSDWCon reminder from Ben who is not Nobby:

      To the Editor:

      We now have a Nullus Anxietas mailing list -
      http://www.ausdwcon.org/mailing-list for low-traffic announcements
      regarding the convention. It will be useful for finding out all our
      latest news, major programme announcements and other dates such as
      our November price rise.

      Our first major announcement has gone out today - that is both
      *Stephen Briggs* and *Bernard Pearson* have agreed to be virtual
      guests of honour for Nullus Anxietas. 'Virtual guest' means we will
      be able to see them live by video-link. Yes, this does mean you will
      not be able to poke them, but it will still be fun nonetheless!

      -- Ben
      If you did not get all 5 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      End of Part 3, says my computer -- continued on Part 4 of 5

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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