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WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2005 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued)

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2005 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued) ... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ====Part 3 5) FAREWELL TO THE PUZZLE Here are
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 30, 2005
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      WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2005 -- PART 3 OF 4 (continued)
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      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      ====Part 3

      5) FAREWELL TO THE PUZZLE

      Here are the long-awaited answers to the November 2005
      Puzzle, featuring NANNY OGG'S COOKBOOK. All
      answers are based on the 1999 Doubleday edition, by
      Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs.

      0. A special treat from the head of a famous Guild,
      who says these sweets he created are "to die for.
      (his last name, fifth letter)

      NOTE: The evil Lord Downey cleverly snuck in a falsely
      numbered clue here. It is, of course, the fifth letter
      of DOWNEY, or "E." We have therefore renumbered
      all the clues through number 7 and reinserted the correct
      number 8. (The old clue number 1 is now clue 0.)

      The answer is therefore LORD DOWNEY'S MINT HUMBUGS = E

      1. Invented by Mrs. Maisie Nobbs, mother of Nobby,
      this dish is one of his favorites. (first word, second letter)
      DISTRESSED PUDDING = I

      2. The soup from which all life evolved. (first word, first letter)
      PRIMAL SOUP = P

      3. A tasty fish dish in which no creosote need be used.
      (second word, first letter)
      FIKKUN HADDOCK = H

      4. The taste of Nanny's grandma's sparrow pie. (first letter)
      CRUNCHY = C

      5. Purveyor of the renowned "Sausage Inna Bun."
      (fourth initial)
      C.M.O.T. DIBBLER = T

      6. A surprising soup made from a common fruit.
      (first word, second letter)
      BANANANA SOUP = A

      7. A fiery hereditary recipe of the Ridcully family.
      (first name, first letter)
      WOW-WOW SAUCE = W

      8. A dwarf delicacy, in a modified form for humans.
      (first letter) STICKY TOFFEE RAT ONNA STICK = S

      9. Lady Sybil's classy meal for Commander Vimes
      (fourth word, fourth letter)
      LADY SYBIL VIMES'S KEDGEREE = G

      10. Parts of deep sea blowfish safest to eat
      (second letter) NONE = O

      11. Nanny Ogg's first name (fourth letter) GYTHA = H


      /E_/I_/P_/H_/C_/T_/A_/W_/S_/G_/O_/H_/ = wizards' dark time snack
      0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 = HOGSWATCH PIE
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      Alas, we have reached the end of the Discworld-novel puzzles and feel
      the other items suggested are not really appropriate for this publication
      since (a) they are not novels nor Discworld-related, (b) hardly anyone
      has them, and (c) neither do I.

      We had a hunt for a new puzzle-master but no one turned up. So,
      reluctantly, we are pulling the plug on this splendid series until Terry
      writes more DW novels. If anyone wants to volunteer, please do.

      If you can create some new kind of puzzle, we'll even start over with THE
      COLOUR OF MAGIC and do a whole set of them.
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      6) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

      by Lady Anaemia Asterisk

      Yes, my astro-illogical possums, it's that time again! It hardly seems
      like it's been a whole year since last Hogswatch, does it? I myself
      only took down my sausage garlands and mistletoe last week - well,
      the garlands I left up because they'd become too feral to get near
      without lion-taming equipment after the first month, and the
      mistletoe I left up because you never know when you might need it.
      This year I've spared no expense to travel the Disc, seeking out
      well-known Personalities born under each Sign and asking them how
      they plan to be spending Hogswatch; some of them even deigned to
      answer me, and some of the answers were printable! So grab your star
      charts, your Great A'Tuin pinatas and your favourite hangover cures
      and par-tayyy...

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Adamant Hedgehog 21 Mar - 20 Apr

      Cheery Littlebottom: "I'm going to spend Hogswatch in Uberwald this
      year as a guest of the Low King. I'm so excited! We're going to sort
      tailings from the new silver mines - sometimes it's nice to get back
      to cosy traditional things, you know - and there's even a rumour that
      sh-, I mean he might have a Music With Rocks In disco in the Disused
      Shaft Club down in Old Number 22. Beats working with smelly chemicals
      and smellier dead bodies, I can tell you!"

      His Grace Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh: "This year will be our first
      true family Hogswatch since our Mam, erm, since. No more shouting
      across the Ramkin banquetting table while Willikins serves like a
      silent Thief. No, this year we'll have all the party games and the
      crackers and the proper festivities, because I want my son to
      remember every Hogswatch as a joyful time when his father is home all
      day and no-one dies horribly on the doorstep. Nothing's too good for
      my Sam."

      Mrs Evadne Cake: "Hogswatch will've been a laugh this year. We'll've
      had mince pies - with minced pork, of course - and roast suckling pig
      and some of that nice Mr Dibbler's sausages. Ludmilla and her young
      man will've done great at Charades, and young Mr Shoe from the Watch
      will've dropped by with a nice card from Lugubri's sorry-for-yer-loss
      shop. But I have to say that *next* Hogswatch was even better."

      Sergeant Jackrum: "Upon my oath, I'm not a Hogswatch man. I'd sooner
      spend that day drinking and telling battle stories down the pub. Any
      pub. But this year, as a special concession to my Little Lads, I'm
      going to spend Hogswatch in the old traditional Borogravian way -
      fasting, reading the Book of Nuggan aloud in a sober voice, and
      toasting the health of the Duchess in mineral water. That's what
      I'm telling the Ruperts anyway!" And if you believe that, you'd make
      a good soldier."

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Gahoolie, the Vase of Tulips 21 Apr - 21 May

      Reginald Shoe: "Of course I won't be following all those vital
      people's traditions, because we postvitals don't eat pork products,
      or any kind of products. No, we rejoice in being by-products. Every
      Hogswatch the Fresh Start Club gives Ankh-Morpork and the wider Disc
      the best present of all, by not adding to the population problem. But
      I do try to keep an open mind, so I'll be participating in some of
      the less politically-incorrect party games and Hogswatch carolling.
      Oh, and I intend to pay a social call on Mrs Cake and bring her a
      card, but that's going to be a surprise."

      Mustrum Ridcully: "This Hogswatch, I'll be going hunting. I intend to
      bag a boar, a stag and a brace of pheasants, then get Mrs Whitlow to
      stuff the pheasants in the boar and the boar in the stag and roast
      them with plenty of Wow-Wow sauce. That should make a fine little
      snack to start off our Hogswatch Breakfast. The Dean wants us to play
      Charades, but I've warned him that he is under no circumstances
      allowed to try acting out Beti the Exotic Dancer again."

      Hughnon Ridcully: "Hogswatch is at heart a solemn time, a time to
      ponder on the ineffable ways of the gods and the marvels and miracles
      of the world around us, a time for abstinence and contemplation, a
      time of joy to all men. Oh, all right, and to all Golems. Yes, and
      other sentient species. Very well. I shall be reading the Hogswatch
      Service in Small Gods myself this year. After that? I hear Mustrum's
      doing a spot of hunting...abstinence is a state of mind, after all."

      C.M.O.T. Dibbler: "I've got just the thing for you this Hogswatch -
      the finest quality cuddly toys! Fluffy scale-model cuddlies of
      Slasher, Gouger, Tusker and Rooter. Totally lifelike! And when you
      pull their hidden strings, they widdle and grunt! Just AM$9.99, and
      that's cutting my own throat! And can I interest you in a Sonky and
      Sons life-sized inflatable Hogfather? String of papier-macheƒÂ©
      sausages? And of course there's the inimitable Dibbler's Festive
      Hogswatch Sausages Inna Bun and Holiday Pork (Probably) Pies. Buy
      one! Buy two! You know it makes sense!"

      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      Herne the Hunted 22 May - 21 Jun

      Mrs Rosie Palm: "Every Hogswatch, my girls and I spare no effort to
      get into the festive spirit. Of course we're great supporters of pork
      products - especially, erm, sausages - and we're quite enthusiastic
      about dances, especially private ones, and wassailing. And mistletoe.
      Oh, and Charades. My youngest, most attractive girls will be dressing
      as Hogswatch presents. And I'm sure you know we're very keen on
      presents that come in stockings..."

      Susan Sto Helit: "I don't hold with all that holiday rubbish, but I
      suppose I can stretch to dropping in on Grandfather for a cup of
      Albert's fried porridge. Just so long as Grandfather and that rat
      don't try to make me play Charades."

      Tiffany Aching: "This Hogswatch I intend to work very hard on my
      holiday cheeses. Mistress Ogg has invited me up to her town to teach
      me the mysteries of the famous Lancre Blue cheese. I'm a bit worried
      about the way she says 'Blue' though. And about her telling me to
      bring a heavy leather apron and chain mail. Leather and chain mail
      for cheesemaking? Perhaps I should bring a frying pan as well, just
      to be safe."

      The Abbot of the History Monks: "To a Yen Buddhist History Monk, all
      Days are as one day grzzlewaaah!, so we don't celebrate Hogswatch.
      Of course, if you look at it another way, *every* day is Hogswatch,
      but we don't eat pork wannapottywannapottynow! and that much sherry
      would give me terrible wind. I plan to spend your Hogswatch Day
      drinking hot yak-butter tea with my favourite Yetis, and shouting at
      the novices wannawannawannaBIKKIT!"


      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      The Wizard's Staff and Knob 22 Jun - 22 Jul

      William de Worde: "Has the Hogfather (age unknown) been secretly
      suffering a debilitating illness? Reports from various sources
      indicate that, on his Hogswatchnight outing last year, he was seen to
      appear considerably thinner - 'Almost like a skellington,' said
      Arthur Nougat (5) of No. 21 The Lane, Little Scullings. There's also
      the disturbing mystery of 'Albert the Elf', the Hogfather's new
      assistant; Mrs Elsie Gubbins (62) of Dolly Sisters claims she saw
      this personage smoking, swearing, scratching himself inappropriately
      and stealing festive pork pies. Is that the sort of influence we want
      our children subjected to at this sacrosanct time of year? The public
      should be told the truth."

      Mrs Whitlow: "Polly, Dolly, Molly and H'ai shall be h'engaged in the
      making of the usual wagonloads of pork pies, mince pies, sausages and
      roast suckling pigs for the Faculty Hogswatch parties. We shan't have
      time to 'party', there's too much to be done. H'ai don't hold with
      this Hogswatch carousing h'anyways. There's far too much drinking,
      and those Charades can get pretty riskey. Or so H'aive heard. Hmph."

      Gytha Ogg: "Our Dreen says she's ordered me one of those ex-o-teek
      palm trees from Klatch, to put next to the fireplace this Hogswatch
      Eve. That won't half confuse the Hogfather when he comes down *my*
      chimney! Of course, they don't celebrate Hogswatchnight out in
      Klatch, they decorate their camels instead and do the Dance of the
      Seven Veils. My second husband used to love me doing the Dance of the
      Seven Veils. He said I was the most erratic woman in all Lancre -
      spelling was never his strong point. But he certainly had a strong
      point...I've invited young Tiffany up to visit as well, going to give
      her some tips on cheesemaking. Fine young lass, though maybe a bit
      too serious. I may give her the palm tree - then she'll never lack
      for dates."

      Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite: "I'll be locking my door this Hogswatch.
      I'm sick to the back teeth of all those little yellow men wandering
      in and sitting at my feet and taking down everything I say. One of
      them called me 'great sage' last year. Now I ask you, do I look like
      a kitchen herb? Some people ought to get out more in the fresh air,
      I tell you."
      %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

      ( Horoscope continued on Part 4 of 4)

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      End of Part 3, says my computer -- continued on Part 4 of 4
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      If you did not get all 4 parts, write: jschaum111@...




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