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WOSSNAME -- DECEMBER 2005 -- PART 1 OF 4

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  • JSCHAUM111@aol.com
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion DECEMBER 2005 (Volume 8, Issue 12) Part 1 of 4 Sections
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 30, 2005
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      DECEMBER 2005 (Volume 8, Issue 12)
      Part 1 of 4 Sections
      *****************************************************************
      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent in
      your name, country and e-mail address. Are there any dues?
      No. Just ask to be put on the mailing list.
      *******************************************************************
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      Managing Editor: Annie Mac
      News Editor: Anna M. Conina
      Convention News Editor: Anna M.Conina
      Creative Co-Conspirator: Valeria Lynne
      Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake
      Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
      Puzzle Editor: volunteer needed
      DW Horoscope: Anaemia Asterisk
      Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
      Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
      Art Director: Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2005 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------
      INDEX:

      EDITORIAL

      ====Part 1

      1) TERRY DECLINES HUGO NOMINATION
      2) NEW PRODUCTION OF WYRD SISTERS IN 2006
      3) PTERRY AND NEIL PRESENT CROWLEY AND
      AZIRAPHALE'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

      ====Part 2

      4) A BELATED WORLDCON INTERVIEW WITH
      TERRY PRATCHETT

      ====Part 3

      5) FAREWELL TO THE PUZZLE
      6) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE

      ====Part 4
      7) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE (continued)

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      EDITORIAL

      Well, another year has come to a close and I can't wait
      till it's gone. For me, it started off with a heart attack
      right after Christmas dinner on December 24, 2004,
      setting me up for some awful plunging around in my
      insides by a team of doctors with what appeared to be an
      oversized coathanger. Recovering from that, I found
      that TV had indeed become a vast wasteland with
      no Buffy, no Angel, no Enterprise, and nothing much to
      replace them. I started to perk up a bit when the fall
      shows started, but then so did the hurricanes, which
      blew down all my trees, blew away my garden shed,
      and took most of the shingles off my house roof.
      The year took one last shot at me last week by having
      my kitchen sink spring a leak.

      On the plus side, my son Mark got married and ...
      and ... well, something else good must have
      happened, too, but I can't think of anything.

      But I look at it this way, things can only get better.

      Anyway, I hope you had a better year than I did,
      and that the year 2006 will be great for all of us.

      I wish all of you a very Merry Hogswatch, Merry Christmas,
      Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza and/or whatever turns you on.

      Much love,

      Joe Schaumburger

      ====Part 1

      1) TERRY DECLINES HUGO NOMINATION

      Terry Pratchett's GOING POSTAL had enough nominations
      to make the final Hugo ballot, but he declined the honor.

      He later explained: "When they told me I just thought:
      I can't handle this, not after all this time, and asked to be let
      off. That meant I enjoyed the con hugely instead of being a
      bag of nerves with a blood pressure of 200/95, and when the
      fateful verdict was given on Sunday night I was eating sushi
      two miles away. Best Worldcon ever!"
      oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      2) NEW PRODUCTION OF WYRD SISTERS IN 2006

      Venue : The Junction, Cambridge Leisure Park,
      Clifton Way, Cambridge, CB1 7GX
      Dates : 19th & 20th January
      Times : 7:30pm
      Box Office : (01223) 511 511 or www.junction.co.uk
      Prices : GBP 7 (GBP 5 concessions) - Special offers for
      school parties,contact Barny Shergold at barny@...
      for more information - Tickets on sale now
      -- Barny Shergold
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      3) PTERRY AND NEIL PRESENT CROWLEY AND
      AZIRAPHALE'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

      as reported by Anna Conina, News Editor

      CROWLEY:

      Resolution #1: I must accept that Super-Gluing valuable coins to the
      sidewalk and then watching events from a nearby cafe is not proper
      demonic activity.

      Resolution #2: The same applies to rearranging the letters on wayside
      pulpits.

      Resolution #3: Try to come up with something as good as cell phone
      ringtones, following one last stab at convincing Downstairs that cell phone
      ringtones are right up there in the whole Human Misery stakes. And iPods.
      Has anybody Down There even said thank you for iPods? Or "Googling
      yourself?" Frankly, I deserve some kind of award for "Googling yourself."

      Resolution #4: I must encourage greedy people to use the term, "Low-hanging
      fruit," because that's just like old times.

      Resolution #5: This year, I will get a desk near the window.

      Resolution #6: I will try to understand why Hell is a no-smoking area. I
      just think it's ridiculous having to stand around outside the gates, that's
      all.

      Resolution #7: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in
      Intelligent Design, because it upsets everyone.

      Resolution #8: Stop Googling myself.

      AZIRAPHALE:

      Resolution #1: Spread peace and love and glad tidings of great joy
      throughout the world. Also try to get out more.

      Resolution #2: I will be charitable to people who use the term "core
      values," however difficult this may be.

      Resolution #3: Notwithstanding Resolution #2 (above), I will redouble my
      efforts to have the utterance of the phrase "core values" classified as a
      deadly sin. I believe Himself is with me on this one.

      Resolution #4: I will try to be nicer to the customers. They want to buy
      books; I want to sell them. It can't be that hard. (Memo to self: Regular
      opening hours? Mark prices on books?)

      Resolution #5: I will try to be polite to Gabriel, no matter what the
      provocation.

      Resolution #6: Find out exactly what an "Internet" is.

      Resolution #7: Really must resume dancing lessons. Learn the "Galloping
      Major," the "Gay Gordons," the "Mashed Potatoes." Possibly even the
      "Twist"?

      Resolution #8: Thwart Infernal Wiles (ongoing).

      Resolution #9: I will try to understand why Heaven is a non-smoking area.

      Resolution #10: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in
      Intelligent Design -- despite the fact that the human airway crosses the
      digestive tract. Who thought that was intelligent?

      Resolution #11: Feed the ducks.

      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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      If you did not get all 4 parts, write: jschaum111@...
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      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 4




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