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WOSSNAME NOVEMBER 2005

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  • Not A Granny
    WOSSNAME Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion NOVEMBER 2005 (Volume 8, Issue 11) Part 1 of 3 Sections
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 30, 2005
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      WOSSNAME
      Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
      NOVEMBER 2005 (Volume 8, Issue 11)
      Part 1 of 3 Sections
      *****************************************************************
      WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
      worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
      including the North American Discworld Society and other
      continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent in
      your name, country and e-mail address. Are there any dues?
      No. Just ask to be put on the mailing list.
      *******************************************************************
      Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
      Managing Editor: Annie Mac
      News Editor: Anna M. Conina
      Convention News Editor: Anna M.Conina
      Creative Co-Conspirator: Valeria Lynne
      Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake,
      Rentawitch
      Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
      Puzzle Editor: volunteer needed
      DW Horoscope: Anaemia Asterisk
      Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
      Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
      Art Director: Rhett Pennell
      World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano
      Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
      Copyright 2005 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------
      INDEX:

      ====Part 1

      1) IGOR SCHOOL
      2) THE CHRONICLE OF LOOMING ANDREW
      A.K.A. THE LONG OVERDUE ADMEET REPORT
      3) NEIL GAIMAN AND THE FLORIDA WITCHES

      ====Part 2

      4) WHERE'S MY COW? TERRY REVEALS ALL
      5) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
      6) "GOING POSTAL" GETS RAVE REVIEW IN AUSTRALIA

      ====Part 3

      7) TERRY AND THE CRIME WRITERS
      8) DISCWORLD WEBSITE REVIEW
      9) LEFT-OVER PUZZLE
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      ====Part 1

      1) IGOR SCHOOL

      Young Igor comes home after his first day at Igor school.

      His mum asks "So, did you make any new friendth today?"

      -- Jase
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      2) THE CHRONICLE OF LOOMING ANDREW
      A.K.A. THE LONG OVERDUE ADMEET REPORT

      All right, I sit here suitably chastised and will begin immediately

      Dear Lizst, this herewith is the chronicle of me, LOOMing Andrew. Bright
      was the morning and high our hearts when Mad Mogg Meg proceeded to my
      humble abode, where events eventvated as I shall now sing. If this sounds
      familiar it probably is, but I did say I was going to write a saga
      didn't I?

      Bugger that, on to the abridged version:

      On or about Friday the 14th of October 2005, at approx the morning, Mogg
      contacted both Dan and myself via the anternet concerning the possibility
      of an Admeet when she was in town the next weekend. A bit of to-ing and
      fro-ing via those mobile phone thingies and SMS messages and voice contact
      was established. At that stage I had to go to Adelaide on Monday to do
      some work for a friend and would be able to do lunch or afternoon drinks,
      whichever was arranged on the day. As with all well laid plans, this did
      not come to pass so on the morning of Monday the 17th of October I rang
      Mogg, explained the change in plans, and enquired whether she would care
      to take a short drive in the country and visit our humble abode. An
      affirmative reply was forthcoming and it was arranged that after indulging
      in some retail therapy Mogg would sally forth and infiltrate our premises.

      For those who have previously experienced the world-famous Mogg Distracted
      Navigation Method(TM), this may turn out to be a bit of surprise.
      Considering all of the conflicting advice I received (from Mrs Loom
      and Mine
      Hostess, plus my own variations added from the street directory) on how to
      actually proceed to said abode, it's amazing I didn't end up in Alice
      Springs. As it was, I merely overshot the road by several kilometres and
      had to turn around :-)

      The previous Saturday I had made one of those silly mistakes that one
      makes and taken Trish (mine other (better) half) for a short drive and
      visit to an open garden display near here. There she was struck by that
      most dreaded of things (by husbands anyway), inspiration. Did I lob
      myself in it or what, and I was conscripted into performing manual labour
      in the form of constructing a drystone retaining wall for the vege garden.
      Come Monday I was hard about my labours doing a damn good impression of
      Sgt. Detritus drilling new recruits in an attempt to get the (expletive
      deleted) rocks to line up properly in a wall like fashion when a vision
      wandered from the house. It took a while before I realised I had got
      sunstroke and that Mogg wasn't here yet, so I had a drink and a bit of a
      rest, then got back into it.

      About half an hour later Mogg did arrived and was greeted by Trish at the
      front door, I was still down the back imitating Detritus. They wandered
      down from the house and Mogg was greeted by a smelly, sweating, dirt
      encrusted apparition muttering things that the Silicone Anti-Defamation
      League would have frowned upon. Greetings all round and back up to the
      house for a drink and chat (plus a cleanup for me).

      I should note that the cleanup managed to miss the face, and a rather
      fetching smear adorned it for most of the day! Very nice vegetable
      garden,
      though.

      The rest of the afternoon was a tour of the house and property, more
      chatting and inducting Mogg into the routines of the property (seeing as
      these had to be done anyway, and a spare pair of hands never goes
      astray).
      So Mogg got to meet all the animals; threw a ball for Amber; had her
      crutch sniffed by Jimmy; lead Katie in from the paddock, cleaned her
      hooves and brushed her before putting her in her stall; played with the
      mini's for a bit; threw the ball a bit more; had her crutch sniffed again
      (he was possibly contemplating a leg humping at this point but he got
      told off (Jimmy that is)) and then we retired to the house to prepare
      dinner.

      I had to admit somewhere around here that my horse-maintenance skills
      were approximately 15 years rusty, but I didn't get stood on or bitten
      so I
      figure we were all right. I was a little disappointed to discover
      that when
      LA refers to stabilising the horses it doesn't refer to fitting them into
      some kind of supporting scaffold for the night.

      Somewhere in there the cherubs were retrieved from various schoolbuses and
      introduced as well. And added much to the general atmosphere of
      hilarity :-)

      After the evening repast and glass or two of red and more conversation it
      was unfortunately time for Mogg to go as she had to negotiate some rather
      windy roads to get back to her friends place. It was good to meet another
      person from the list "in the flesh" and get to know them other than their
      online persona. The axe wielding maniac didn't come out at all so I can
      only assume that Mogg is as nice a she seemed to be, despite the penchant
      for liking cats. All in all I can only assume that a good time was had by
      all, cos I certainly did (and as a side note, if anyone else wants to come
      and visit/stay for a while please let me know and we will see what can be
      arranged, see Mogg for references)

      I managed to get back in time not to be locked out of the place I was
      staying *grin* I don't know about nice, though! It was a thoroughly
      enjoyable day, and proof that people you meet via pixels can turn out
      to be
      very likeable, rather than freaky :-) It's also the only house I've ever
      visited which has an upstairs and a downstairs bar. The view sitting
      on the
      hill is very pleasant, although it would possibly be more pleasant
      without a
      full-grown collie sitting on your lap.

      Other bits:
      At one stage Mogg's car was going to be extremely overloaded on the trip
      back to Melbourne due to her mentioning that her parents had hinted at the
      possibility of grandchildren (she could have our cherubs for as long as
      she wanted them), and the cutenessness of the mini's winning another heart
      (they would just about fit in the back seat). From subsequent emails it
      looks like we could have stuffed Katie into the boot as well, though
      fitting a 16.1 hand horse into the boot might have required a modicum of
      amputation to make it fit.

      Considering the size of my car, fitting three children and two ponies
      on the
      back seat might have been difficult as well. Not to mention the issue of
      where I'd put them all when I got them home - I suppose the cherubs could
      have been stacked on shelves...

      Conversations included (not exclusively, entirely, or in order of
      conversation or preference): people from the list, online v real life (tm)
      and what the ones we knew were really like (curses for missing out on the
      other Admeet that happened a while ago); Pterry books, characters, plots,
      etc; Life, what's it all really about; medical devices that go "ping";
      Parents and Grandparents, or families in general; Pets of all shapes and
      descriptions; and I'm not exactly certain but I think that unusual holiday
      destinations may have been in there as well.

      Those machines haunt me, even when I'm on holiday. The week after this I
      went to Sydney to visit my sister and her fiancee and spent a fairish
      amount
      of time in a hospital when said fiancee ended up there for a period of
      days.
      I suppose that counts as an unusual holiday destination?

      Herein ends the reading from the book of LOOM, chapter 12, paragraphs 5 -
      12, sub-paragraphs and appendices at your own discretion [1].

      [1] suppressed by popular demand

      -- courtesy of Mogg, a trifle distracted of late.
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      3. NEIL GAIMAN AND THE FLORIDA WITCHES

      I´m currently ambling through Neil Gaiman´s latest, titled "Anansi Boys,"
      and came across an interesting quote. In a scene with four old
      Floridian ladies practicing what looks like witchcraft comes a comment
      from one of them.

      The recipe calls for a number of herbs to which the lady with them says
      "mixed herbs ..... It´s what I always use when the recipe says
      basil this or oregano that. I can´t be doing with it. You ask me, it´s
      all mixed herbs."

      Sound a bit familiar? It would seem Mr Gaiman has learned a bit from
      PTerry here!

      Also, you should check out this interview with PTerry. Well worth the
      read.

      http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue449/interview.html

      -- Kate
      ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3
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