Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
OCTOBER 2005 (Volume 8, Issue 10)
Part 1 of 3 Sections
WOSSNAME is a FREE publication for members of the
worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates,
including the North American Discworld Society and other
continental groups. Are you a member? Yes, if you sent in
your name, country and e-mail address. Are there any dues?
No. Just ask to be put on the mailing list.
Editor in Chief: Joseph Schaumburger
Managing Editor: Annie Mac
News Editor: Anna M. Conina
Convention News Editor: Anna M.Conina
Creative Co-Conspirator: Valeria Lynne
Staff Writers: Asti Osborn, Paul Blake,
Book Reviews: Drusilla D'Afanguin
Puzzle Editor: volunteer needed
DW Horoscope: Anaemia Asterisk
Emergency Staff: Jason Parlevliet,
Nathan Clissold, Dylan Williams
Art Director: Rhett Pennell
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano
Webmaster: Paul Wilkins, disk@...
Copyright 2005 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
1) MYSTERIOUS GALAXY SIGNING
2) FIRST DISCWORLD BEER FESTIVAL
3) YOUR NEW DISCWORLD HOROSCOPE
4) NOT YOUR DISCWORLD PUZZLE
5) LOST PRATCHETT QUOTE RESURFACES
6) TROLL MODELS
7) GOING POSTAL PREMIERES IN AUSTRALIA
8) MASKERADE IN CHELMSFORD
9) LORDS AND LADIES IN FEBRUARY
10) WHERE'S MY COW SECRET REVEALED
Another fun weekend in Florida. Collapsing with pneumonia
on Friday, October 21st, I fell over in the street on my way
to my doctor and was picked up and delivered to the doctor
by a friendly truckdriver. The doctor took one look at me, and
had me admitted to the local hospital immediately.
So far, so good. Then, while I am recovering in the hospital,
Hurricane Wilma hits here and by the time I am discharged
(either I was better or the hospital was losing its electricity)
good old Wilma trashed the area really bad. Several
million people lost all their electricity, parts of their homes,
and their food supply.
Still recovering from Hurricane Katrina last month, which took
my garden shed and one of my fences, I now faced the loss
of my other large tree which finished off the fences on the
other two sides, and the wind also tore off most of the
shingles on my roof. (I'm not even mentioning the total
destruction of my porch screens, etc.)
Meanwhile, my son, his wife, and her sister who were
living a few miles north of here had a total loss of power
and had to move in with me, along with 3 cats and a
rabbit. My two dogs were very saintly about this, but
everyone else got very nervous at times.
I made a stab about getting out WOSSNAME, but when
all the associated problems started to turn up (no lights,
refrigeration, traffic lights, access to TV, stores (including
supermarkets), gasoline and in some places even phones
and water, I just put everything aside and concentrated
Now, 9 days later, things are considerably better (although
many have been told they won't get power back till Nov. 22)
so I thought I'd make a last ditch effort to get WOSSNAME
Please excuse any errors and/or omissions you may notice.
It's just not our month.
-- Joe, bedraggled but still trying
1) MYSTERIOUS GALAXY SIGNING
A Special Report by Anna M. Conina
It was standing room only at Terry's September 24th pre-signing talk at
San Diego's Mysterious Galaxy bookstore, where approximately 200 people
turned up to test the limits of the local fire codes. Long before
Terry's arrival, the audience snapped up the 50 available copies of
_Where's My Cow?_, part of a very limited preliminary shipment.
Wearing a Google T-shirt and lacking his trademark black Author Hat,
Terry opened his talk by discussing his visit to Google's headquarters
and the impressive employee cafeteria buffet (see
; just imagine
the havoc, he mused, if sci-fi/fantasy conventioneers were turned loose
Crediting his editor, Jennifer Brehl, with responsibility for much of
the recent success of the Discworld series in the United States, Terry
announced that _Thud!_ had just reached #4 on the New York Times
hardcover fiction bestseller list - the first of his books ever to
crack the top ten. After a bit of _Thud!_ discussion, the talk quickly
turned to two of his upcoming novels.
_Wintersmith_ , the third in a projected four-book trilogy, will
feature Nanny Ogg teaching the facts of life(!) to Tiffany Aching, a
truly terrifying thought. Tiffany has heard Nanny referred to as a
woman of easy virtue who is no better than she should be; with
faultless logic, she initially concludes that this must mean Nanny is a
very moral person indeed, since virtue comes easily for her, and she is
precisely as good as she ought to be! _Unseen Academicals_, meanwhile,
will mark a return to the lighter style of the earlier books,
chronicling the introduction of soccer/football to the Discworld. One
of the biggest laughs of the afternoon greeted Terry's discussion of the
unique abilities the Librarian would bring to a team.
The concluding question-and-answer session included a hilarious
discussion of the historical inspiration for the cavalcade of
cross-dressing in _Monstrous Regiment_, as well as several of the usual
name-pronunciation inquiries - plus one *unusual* one. Our thanks go
to the guy who asked Terry, with reference to _Where's My Cow?_, to
demonstrate precisely what sound a hippo makes. Terry's HURRRGHHH!
would have done Detritus proud.
On a side note: I have now heard people ask Terry: How do you pronounce
Angua? no less than six times. It seems like a website listing the
fifty trickiest-to-pronounce Discworld personal and geographic names,
featuring small .wav files for each word, would be a worthwhile project.
Is anyone out there feeling ambitious?
After all the audience questions, Terry had a request for us, or at
least for any attendees who would be returning to Mysterious Galaxy for
Neil Gaiman's subsequent signing. Be sure you all tell Neil that Terry
says hi, he encouraged everyone, an evil gleam in his eye. He loves
Finally, my friends at the signing were very amused when, while
addressing the crowd, Terry introduced me as his Designated Stalker.
Several audience members (including one WOSSNAME reader!) approached me
afterward to chat and bask in the reflected glory of my
celebrity-stalker-hood. I have come to accept the fact that I am never,
ever going to live down that title.
Methinks I will make some sort of official badge to wear at the
Discworld Convention. : )
2) FIRST DISCWORLD BEER FESTIVAL
Tickets are now available for the first Discworld Beer Festival, to be held
on the weekend of December 3rd & 4th to coincide with the Hogswatch event
organised by Bernard Pearson, The Cunning Artificer.
Tickets are UKP5.00 each and include entry on both days and a souvenir glass
featuring the Festival logo. Visit http://www.BursarVixen.com
to purchase the
tickets and glasses.
The festival will run from 11.00am to 11.00pm on Saturday and from 11.00am to
10.30pm on Sunday and is being held in Wincanton at The Maddocks Sports
Pavilion, Wincanton Sports Ground, Moor Lane, Wincanton, Somerset, BA9 9EJ.
All our Discworld Beers and Ciders will be available - there are seven in
the range. We will also feature a variety of Real Ale selected from local
breweries and hope to launch two new Discworld beers - a Discworld Stout and
a Discworld Porter. The beers will be available in cask and bottle
On the Sunday morning, Terry Pratchett will be in attendance as the
Discworld version of football gets its first public outing where teams from
the Ankh-Morpork & District Flatalist Society take on the Ankh-Morpork &
Wincanton Cabbage Growers Association.
The game is freestyle football; the rules (such as they are) are created by
Fantailer and there are no edged weapons allowed. If you are going to be
there and want to play, let us know! Discworld football kit or costume is to
The Beer Festival is organised in association with the Heart of Wessex CAMRA
branch and we thank them for their help in organising the local beers.
More Information coming to http://www.BursarVixen.com
shortly, and be sure
to visit http://www.cunningartificer.co.uk
for accommodation details and
information about other activities in the town. You can also call
0709 226 4571 for further information on the Beer Festival itself.
-- Paul Kruzycki
If you did not get all 3 parts, write: jschaum111@...
End of Part 1, says my computer -- continued on Part 2 of 3
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